So, as most of you probably know (because I bitch about her constantly) I hate my roommate with the passion of a thousand suns. She needs to be dropkicked. Anyway. I'm never at my house anymore, maybe 10% of my time is spent there. If that. My point is, I'm never there, sleeping or otherwise. I find other places to crash. This is mainly because of her. I can't stand the girl. So the last few weeks I've been noticing that there hasn't been any toilet paper in the bathroom... but surely she'd buy some, right? Well the other day, I stopped by my house on my way to class to go to the bathroom. LO AND BEHOLD there was a full roll of toilet paper in there. SWEET! Right? So I go to my classes, come back about 4 hours later and the toilet paper is gone. So I did some sleuthing, and what should I find hidden under the bathroom sink? Why, ITS THE TOILET PAPER.

Yes.

She HID THE TOILET PAPER FROM ME. Because I didn't pay for it. All 50 cents worth.

Yeah. So I immediately started plotting with my mom on the phone. I came up with the brilliant idea of REVENGE.

And I took pictures and added captions. Mwuhahaa. Make sure you look at them in order, top to bottom.

http://static.flickr.com/121/292654393_9737c894d3.jpg?v=0
http://static.flickr.com/103/292654410_8367564c27.jpg?v=0
http://static.flickr.com/103/292654410_8367564c27.jpg?v=0
http://static.flickr.com/112/292654424_f897a04bdb.jpg?v=0
http://static.flickr.com/113/292654438_222a962aa6.jpg?v=0
http://static.flickr.com/107/292654453_f7efecfc85.jpg?v=0
http://static.flickr.com/107/292654470_de26846485.jpg?v=0
http://static.flickr.com/111/292662308_ebe1b3a424.jpg?v=0

Girls are vastly more vindictive than guys. Revenge for us is punching the other guy in the arm or something.

That's friggin' hilarious!

LMAO!

Classic. Now you have to start doing things like replacing her toothpaste tube with Desitin or some other ungodly tasting material. And of course, line her bedroom slippers with the toothpaste.

I had the roommatoe from hell my first year too. At least you've got a house, I had a dorm room. I think it's hilarious what you did, but FYI, this kinda stuff will only make living with this person harder, and if you have to spend until next spring with her, this is going to make it a lot harder. Trust me. I did every trick in the book to my bastard roommate.

I know this sounds very "Un-The Doc-ish", but I would have liked to have just reasoned with him half the time so I could have a drinkin' buddy. This stuff may be funny now, but it only gets worse.

The Doc

P.S. Try sitting the person down and kicking them in the shin as hard as you can. (sorry, had to throw that in there)

Bogey is the personification of ass-kickage.

Thank you, thank you. I try my best. In other news, she's recently taken to calling me a gremlin, accusing me of stealing her 34 rolls of toilet paper, because "theres no way she used 34 rolls in 14 weeks." Just between you and me, I think she's got herself a personal problem. Its definately the most insane and insulting thing I've ever been accused of stealing.

And Ferro, I lived with this girl last year in the dorms and didn't learn my lesson.. and decided to live with her again this year. Baaaad idea. Won't happen again. I'm never here anyways, I've got plenty of friends around who let me crash at their place.

********

Oh, and we had at a Halloween party on the 28th that SHE decided to have (without asking me). So, me being me.. I got good and drunk.. and then she started talking down to one of my friends. (She does this a lot - talking down to people) So, since I was drunk, I really let her have it.

And it was AMAZING. I told her how spoiled she was, how I wished MY daddy could take my $21,000 brand new car AND my credit card away as punishment.. but alas we can't afford such luxuries. I told her what a bitch she was. Earlier in the night her and her boyfriend had a fight and he called her a c***(stupid censor ) ... and I said he was right. I told her how everyone just pretends to like her (the truth), how everyone hates her, and how I'm just saying what everyone is thinking. I (apparently) yelled at her for a good 10 minutes. I threatened to kick her ass.. she threatened to call the cops (which is funny, because she's underage and was drinking).. it was GREAT.

I don't remember much of it.. but there were about 10-15 people outside when I did it... so they all let me know how awesome it was.

To some people this may seem a tad mean... but to people who know the situation (quite a few people on here) its absolutely fabulous. I've been holding so much in for the last couple years, it feels wonderful to finally get it off my chest.

And JJ, that is a fantastic idea.

Bogz, you are positively evil.

Revenge is a dish best served cold (and from a safe distance).

Signor V.

Bogey -

"Is vengence gonna bring back your roll of toilet paper, or hers?"

Next time, pull some of it to hang loosely, and then CRAZY GLUE the rest of the roll together and put it back in the holder!


I loved your style of revenge though, great stuff.


Don Cardi

A healthy sprinkling of itching powder in her underwear drawer will fix the bitch's wagon.

Better yet Bogey, give her a Home Depot special and crazy glue her crazy ass to the seat.

BTW - Please document the rest of your capers. I'll make a short movie out of it, lol...Windows Movie Maker 2!

I've always favored the Saran Wrap over the toilet bowl trick...

1. Lift up the seat
2. Tightly cover the top of the bowl with Saran Wrap
3. Put seat back down
4. Remove the light bulb in the bathroom

When the intended target sits down to do her business she'll get a nice surprise (ESPECIALLY if its of a solid nature).

bogey - those pics are hilarious!

.

Bogey - I took the liberty of making a video for you.

Girl Wars III: Revenge of the Bitch

Pure evil, Bogey. I love it!

I'm a little late on this, but...

Spencer's Gifts sells rolls of toilet paper that you can't use. Its un-rip-able (if that's even a word)

Also, super glue her tooth brush bristles. Depending on what kind of locks you guys have, you can lock her in the place with a quarter wedged the right way (don't worry, you can open the door from the outside... its a tricky stunt and you need a certain kind of deadbolt lock, etc)

Shaving cream bombs. Take a manila envelope and fill it with that shitty old white shaving cream. Make sure you duct tape 3 sides of it. Slide the 4th side under a closed door. Jump down on the envelope... BOOM! Shaving cream everywhere. Its guaranteed to take at least 2 hours to clean up