88 Important Truths I’ve Learned About Life
from Raptitude.com

I came across this last night and really enjoyed reading through the list. I don't necessarily agree with all of them, but I think there's a great deal of wisdom here. And perhaps why I'm most drawn to it is that I realize I'm "guilty" of quite a few. The whole site is interesting because they have other similarly thoughtful articles.

What are the truths YOU have learned about life? Share your wisdom with the rest of us!

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1. You can’t change other people, and it’s rude to try.

2. It is 100 times more difficult to burn calories than to refrain from consuming them in the first place.

3. If you’re talking to someone you don’t know well, you may be talking to someone who knows way more about whatever you’re talking about than you do.

4. The cheapest and most expensive models are usually both bad deals.

5. Everyone likes somebody who gets to the point quickly.

6. Bad moods will come and go your whole life, and trying to force them away makes them run deeper and last longer.

7. Children are remarkably honest creatures until we teach them not to be.

8. If everyone in the show you’re watching is good-looking, it’s not worth watching.

9. Yelling always makes things worse.

10. Whenever you’re worried about what others will think of you, you’re really just worried about what you’ll think of you.

11. Every problem you have is your responsibility, regardless of who caused it.

12. You never have to deal with more than one moment at a time.

13. If you never doubt your beliefs, then you’re wrong a lot.

14. Managing one’s wants is the most powerful skill a person can learn.

15. Nobody has it all figured out.

16. Cynicism is far too easy to be useful.

17. Every passing face on the street represents a story every bit as compelling and complicated as yours.

18. Whenever you hate something, it hates you back: people, situations and inanimate objects alike.

19. Ralph Waldo Emerson’s works alone can teach you everything you need to know about living with grace and happiness.

20. People embellish everything, as a rule.

21. Anger reveals weakness of character, violence even moreso.

22. Humans cannot destroy the planet, but we can destroy its capacity to keep us alive. And we are.

23. When people are uncomfortable with the present moment, they fidget with their hands or their minds. Watch and see.

24. Those who complain the most, accomplish the least.

25. Putting something off makes it instantly harder and scarier.

26. Credit card debt devours souls.

27. Nobody knows more than a minuscule fraction of what’s going on in the world. It’s just way too big for any one person to know it well.

28. Most of what we see is only what we think about what we see.

29. A person who is unafraid to present an unedited version of herself to the world is as rare as diamonds.

30. The most common addiction in the world is the draw of comfort. It wrecks dreams and breaks people.

31. If what you’re doing feels perfectly safe, there is probably a better course of action.

32. The greatest innovation in the history of humankind is language.

33. Blame is the favorite pastime of those who dislike responsibility.

34. Everyone you meet is better than you at something.

35. Proof is nothing but a collection of opinions that match one’s own.

36. Knowledge is belief, nothing more.

37. Indulging your desires is not self-love.

38. What makes human beings different from animals is that animals can be themselves with ease.

39. Self-examination is the only path out of misery.

40. Whoever you are, you will die. To know and understand that means you are alive.

41. Revenge is for the petty and irresponsible.

42. Getting truly organized can vastly improve anyone’s life.

43. Almost every cliché contains a truth so profound that people have been compelled to repeat it until it makes you roll your eyes. But the wisdom is still in there.

44. People cause suffering when they are suffering themselves. Alleviating their suffering will probably remove their inclination to create it for others.

45. High quality is worth any quantity, in possessions, friends and experiences.

46. The world would be a better place if everyone read National Geographic.

47. If you aren’t happy single, you won’t be happy in a relationship.

48. Even if it costs no money, nothing is free if it takes time.

49. Emotions exist to make us heavily biased towards or against something. This hinders as often as it helps.

50. Addiction is a much greater problem in society than it’s made out to be. It’s present in every person in various forms, but usually we call it something else.

51. “Gut feeling” is not just a euphemism. Tension in the abdomen speaks volumes about how you truly feel about something, beyond all arguments and rationales.

52. Posture and dress change profoundly how you feel about yourself and how others feel about you, like it or not.

53. Everyone thinks they’re an above average driver.

54. The urge to punish others has much more to do with venting frustration than correcting behavior.

55. By default, people think far too much.

56. If anything is worth splurging on, it’s a high-quality mattress. You’ll spend a third of your life using it.

57. There is nothing worse than having no friends.

58. To write a person off as worthless is an act of great violence.

59. Try as we might to be otherwise, we are all hypocrites.

60. Justice is a human invention which is in reality rarely achievable, but many will not hesitate to destroy lives demanding it.

61. Kids will usually understand exactly what you mean if you keep it to one or two short sentences.

62. Stuff that’s on sale usually has an annoying downside.

63. Casual swearing makes people sound dumb.

64. Words are immensely powerful. One cruel remark can wound someone for life.

65. It’s easy to make someone’s day just by being uncommonly pleasant to them.

66. Most of what children learn from their parents isn’t taught on purpose.

67. The secret ingredient is usually butter, in obscene amounts.

68. It is worth re-trying foods that you didn’t like at first.

69. Problems, when they arise, are rarely as painful as the act of fearing them.

70. Nothing — ever — happens exactly like you pictured it.

71. North Americans are generally terrible at accepting compliments and offers of help.

72. There are not enough women in positions of power. The world has suffered from this deficit for a long time.

73. When you break promises to yourself, you feel terrible. When you make a habit of it, you begin to hate yourself.

74. A good nine out of ten bad things I worry about never happen. A good nine out of ten bad things that did happen never occurred to me to worry about.

75. You can’t hide a bad mood from people who know you well, but you can always be polite.

76. Sometimes you have to remove certain people from your life, even if they’re family.

77. Anyone can be calmed in an instant by looking at the ocean or the stars.

78. There is no point finishing a book you aren’t enjoying. Life is too short for that. Swallow your pride and put it down for good, unfinished.

79. There is no correlation between the price of a brand of batteries and how long they last.

80. Breaking new ground only takes a tiny amount more effort than you’re used to giving.

81. Life is a solo trip, but you’ll have lots of visitors. Some of them are long-term, most aren’t.

82. One of the best things you can do for your kids is take them on road trips. I’m not a parent, but I was a kid once.

83. The fewer possessions you have, the more they do for you.

84. Einstein was wiser than he was intelligent, and he was a genius.

85. When you’re sick of your own life, that’s a good time to pick up a book.

86. Wishing things were different is a great way to torture yourself.

87. The ability to be happy is nothing other than the ability to come to terms with how things change.

88. Killing time is an atrocity. It’s priceless, and it never grows back.

These are pretty accurate.

Here's something I learned. My son recently asked me if I remember a specific time when he and I picked blackberries behind our home, then went to a Chinese restaurant, and stopped at a drugstore on the way home to buy baseball cards. I had forgotten this day which was almost ten years ago, but he remembered many details, which let me know this was a special memory for him.

So, I would suggest: Make the best of each moment with your kids because you never know how many happy memories they will have from everyday, run-of-the-mill experiences.

Thats nice Klyd. You are quite right in what you say,as usual,you wise old devil you

That's lovely, Klyd. I agree wholeheartedly, but I would extend it to all those that you cherish - your friends as well as your family. Love them while you can, because nobody promises us tomorrow.

This is a very good list.
The last item on this list (killing time) reminded me of a recent similar post by the writer, Steve Barnes.

Procrastination

Procrastination came up repeatedly as a negative personality trait with a positive intent. Now, some procrastination might not even be bad...it depends on whether we get the job done. If so, that's just our personal style. Here is the most important question: DO YOU KEEP YOUR WORD TO YOURSELF?

In other words, if you promise yourself that you're going to spend an hour a day doing something, and instead you spend seven hours on Sunday, at the last minute, and still get it done...cool. BUT...next time, did you promise yourself you were going to spend an hour a day, and break your promise to yourself AGAIN? Or did you shrug, realize you like doing things at the last minute, and go with the flow?

In the first, word-breaking case, you have a problem.

1) you lied to yourself. You had information clearly indicating the "hour a day" pattern was not in alignment with your nature. Why did you set a goal you already knew you wouldn't keep? Dangerous.

2) You broke your promise to yourself. Bad. I promise that if you have a habit of breaking your promises to yourself, you won't be able to control where and when it pops up.

Does your pattern of action allow you to create what you want, in a manner that pleases you? Then it's just your pattern. What others perceive as Procrastination might just be your style. But if, on the other hand, you put off balancing your checkbook, or exercising, or having "that talk" and constantly end up blowing it entirely, that is another matter altogether.
So the first thing to decide is: is this habit pattern in alignment with your goals, values, and emotional charges? If you continue to behave in this fashion, will you make the impact on the world that you desire? What will happen in a year? Three years? Five years?

If the answer is: "awww...I get it done." Then fine. If the answer is: "I'm going to be stuck in a rut" that's different. At that point, we have to start asking what motivates the Procratination, how it distorts your reality, and how you lie to protect it. And you have to learn to differentiate between eccentricity and self-destruction. Ask:

1) Will my life remain in balance if I do this?
2) Will I keep my commitments if I do this?
3) Can I do this and be honest with myself and others?
4) Will this behavior produce more pleasure than pain for myself, my family, and my community?
If the procrastination is a dream-killer, you have an obligation to correct the situation. Either change your habits, or change your dreams. Otherwise you are leaking critical psychic energy.

Fantastic list, although I never thought I would live to see the day that the maxim "revenge is petty" would appear on the Godfather website!

Here are a couple with a holiday theme:

When you buy your Christmas tree, make it a family event. Wear a Santa hat and, by all means, bring the kids. Sing holiday songs.

When decorating the tree, put up enough lights...and then add an extra set of lights.

Never discuss politics during the holiday season.

I rather prefer: When buying a tree, make sure it's pre-lit!

(I don't buy live -- sorry, dead -- trees. I'm no tree-hugger, but I still appreciate and respect living things and the benefit they provide the world as opposed to 3 weeks of joy just to end up in a trash dump)

You can get a living tree that's potted, and then plant it. I always place my old tree near a pond in a wetlands behind my house. It makes a great home for some of the wildlife.

We also have a prelit, artificial tree, which is a big convenience. We'd set it up in the basement with the real tree upstairs.

Always buy 2 ply toilet paper.

Always.

Nothing — ever — happens exactly like you pictured it.


That's true. From the time you are young and dreaming of being an adult, you imagine where you'll be or what you'll be doing. As an adult you again have aspirations/dreams/goals or just picture yourself in the future, in a certain way. Not that it always turns out negative, but it never turns out quite like you imagine. A part of life.


TIS

I noticed that most of that list is negative in nature.

Here's a truth:

Whenever anyone begins a comment with the phrase, "with all due respect," be assured there is no respect intended, and the purpose of the proceeding comment is to offend or belittle.

Also, whenever someone feels compelled to explain that they can't be a racist "because I have friends who are black," be assured that you're speaking to a racist.

Absolutely. And, if you hear someone trashing a group that you don't like, be assured that the person will, sooner or later, trash your group.

Kly, that's very true, at least in what I know of my own childhood memories. There are so many random things that I remember and think back on fondly, often involving very simple and ordinary things - but for whatever reason, maybe because it was special to me or because of who I was with, it'll always stick with me.

Lilo, I cringe reading that post about procrastination - I'm the worst! I always get my stuff done for school, but I almost always procrastinate on it, as well, and I hate that I'm like that!

MC, the list is pretty negative, isn't it? Maybe why it made me kind of pessimistic...haha

"No offense..." is another one of those phrases like "With all due respect..."

And on the race issue, I like Stephen Colbert's strategy best. He always points out that he doesn't "see color," and that he assumes he's white because people tell him he is.