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"I don't Feel Like It"
#591611
01/21/11 10:38 AM
01/21/11 10:38 AM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 18,238
The Ravenite Social Club
Don Cardi
OP
Caporegime
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OP
Caporegime
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 18,238
The Ravenite Social Club
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I received this through an email and thought that it was pretty funny...so I decided to share it with all of you here on the
BB :
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'
I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep..
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'
We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... She was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all Dear, let's go to the cashier.'
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'
I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either... but at least the bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
Don Cardi  Five - ten years from now, they're gonna wish there was American Cosa Nostra. Five - ten years from now, they're gonna miss John Gotti.
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Re: "I don't Feel Like It"
[Re: Don Cardi]
#591773
01/22/11 07:43 PM
01/22/11 07:43 PM
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 1,399
Top o' the World
Fame
Underboss
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Underboss
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 1,399
Top o' the World
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I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I don't think I will call this guy 'smart'... But thanx for posting DC 
"Come out and take it, you dirty, yellow-bellied rat, or I'll give it to you through the door!"
- James Cagney in "Taxi!" (1932)
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