4/25

Actually, the subject line is simply a teaser. I couldn't think of a good title for this installment, so I made it up, entirely off-subject. (Although I suppose I WOULD blow a cop if I needed to.) But I digress.

I was thinking of something totally different today, but then I managed to lure my good old friend Turi Giuliano to drop a line to my office. England to the United States...a live, audible conversation with this limey bastard.

First off all, I don't know if he noticed, but the fucking phone was crackling. This would normally not be a problem, but you need to understand that there was an articulation barrier...not a language one, but in the way words are spoken.

This is it...Turi moves to say something very ordinary, and something I would ordinarily understand, despite the English accent, but the phone crackles a bit. Now I'm fucked...I have to quickly piece together what I DID hear before the phone crackled and make sense of it, and then reply with something I HOPE he, too, can understand. This, all the while experiencing the slight awkwardness of speaking to someone you've "known" for so long....it's a bit of a mindjob.

In sum, I hope it was satisfying for Turi..it was for me...I got to hear his voice, which is good, just in case he dies and I need to read an encomium at his wake...it is best to know the WHOLE person.

Mild oddness aside (and technology sucking enough to make the connection sometimes waver), I am glad I finally spoke to him. He is, after all, an A-1 mate. Maybe someday I will get to meet him in person and see him knob a cop. Get Scotland Yard cum on his cheeks and smile and whatnot. Or, we will just attack the Palace, as I threatened long ago.

Cheers, Turi!

Ha! Yes the title of this one intrigued me since you Poke, of all people know the type I share a bed with.....

Yes, I agree - one can get so much more of a person's persona via the telephone than with written words. Sometimes you can lose track of a whole hour or more!

After your heavy breathing sessions, I just hope you left Turi with a smile on his face and much desire to nap.

Yes, that is my hope, Vita.

Haha good stuff, good speaking to you too. You're not how I expected at all. No crackling my side which was surprising because it was my mobile phone.

On conversations I don't understand I usually just nod and smile hoping that's all the other person needs. Until they're looking at me waiting for something more - an answer. Shit they asked a question and i'm just nodding and smiling.

Anyway, we're half way to having met each other.

I'm VERY interested in what you DID expect...please ellaborate.

Nothing bad mate and now I don't know why but I expected a Jack Nicholson type coolness about you.

Should I stop digging?

Yeah, I feel like enough of a loser/dork now, Turi. I was too busy trying to speak slowly and clearly (thinking you couldn't hear me) to be cool.

hehe, you guys TALKED on the PHONE!!LOL I can't imagine what that was like ...anyway, UZ,, i hate to bust your balls even more, but I kinda get that Nicholson vibe off a you too. Its a HUGE DISAPOINTMENT to find that you aren't like that. BAD BAD UZI!! just kidding.
please don't kill me.

I might have that vibe, but I would say that in real life, I am Dean Moriarty. I try NOT to be, which is hard at times, but I REALLY try to keep my shit together. I'm more spastic, maladjusted, and explosive than Nicholsonesque "cool."

You are dead, by the way.

Great! Now we can hold hands and sing "It's a small world". I used to talk to Homez every now and again from the Scarface board and have actually only talked to one other individual from the boards.

That is fucked up that I was not invited by you two grunts but then again I am not into homosexual acts.

-Minnow-

You talked to Homez? haha - the international calling card is alive and well it seems.

I always doubted he was a real person...I always pictured a robotic alien being of some kind....

AHA!!! THAT'S WHO IT IS!!! Sorry Uz, but I finally realised who you look like!

So you talked on the phone, eh? Two very different accents complete with a crackly phone. I can imagine the confusion now. Uz, I would talk to you on the phone...but I fear for my sanity. And life.

-Penguin

Oh call her. TIS is a hoot on the phone. I PM'ed you all my numbers FH ... if you ever get the urge, and the cash, to call across the pond. Also good numbers to know if no one has heard from me in months and I am presumed dead. Now you will be able to call for the juicy details of my demise. (I love being morbid ).

McDonalds? Boys! I'll be a hour away from TIS in August. I'm hoping to meet half way at some place NICE instead of a place that grounds the whole cow for a patty.

Absolutely. And for a bit of trivia, most McDonalds patties are made up from the sludged-together remains of about 100 different cows. Meet somewhere stylish!

Aaah phone numbers and meet ups. Unfortunately I'm all the way down here which kind of prevents me. And the phone bill would be apocalyptic.

-Penguin

Minnow you can call me anytime and I guarantee it wont be homosexual.

Poke, you still feeling down because of my comments? Don't worry about it, you're still one dynamite guy.

FH, i'm up for a beer almost anytime. How's a KFC sound instead then?