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Are today's men comfortable in their sexuality?
#111614
05/19/05 11:07 AM
05/19/05 11:07 AM
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Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 5,455 California
XDCX
OP
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OP

Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 5,455
California
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I've noticed, both on this board, and in my everyday life, that a lot of men who claim to be straight as an arrow, don't seem to be at all comfortable in their sexuality. For instance, in my every day life, I hear girls all the time exclaim how this other girl is pretty, how young girls ALWAYS wanna look like their role model (i.e Britney Spears, for lack of a better choice at the moment). Girls can pick an individual and wanna be like them. Boys, on the other hand, pick an occupation. Girl: I WANNA BE LIKE BRITNEY SPEARS, MOMMY! Boy: I WANNA BE A FIREMAN! See what I'm getting at? It seems to me that woman are a whole lot more comfortable in their sexuality than men. And here's where it involves the BB: In Fame's "Profile Thread", he left a choice open for Hottest Woman Alive, and Hottest Man. Going throught he majority of the posts, most (if not all) of the guys, either put "  " or nothing at all, or something suggesting "they don't swing that way." However, all the ladies (or most of em) weren't ashamed to put a name of a woman down in the "Hottest Female Alive" choice. Me, I'm completely comfortable in my sexuality. For my choice of hottest male, I put Johnny Depp. There's not a gay bone in my body, but I'm not ashamed to say that Johnny Depp is an attractive man. I've also surveyed some guys (including my brother), but beings that I'm majoring in psychology, I know how to twist things. For instance, the first thing I'll ask: Q: Given the choice, if you could look like any famous man in the world, what females would consider the hottest man alive, who would you choose? Most would give an answer such as Johnny Depp, Leo DiCaprio, or someone along those lines. Then I turn it around and ask "So you think he's attractive, no?" And they exclaim "HELL NAH MAN, I AIN'T GAY!" Hence, my point. It is my opinion that most guys aren't comfortable in their sexuality. Whaddya yall think?
"Growing up my dad was like 'You have a great last name, Galifianakis. Galifianakis...begins with a gal...and ends with a kiss...' I'm like that's great dad, can we get it changed to 'Galifianafuck' please?" -- Zach Galifianakis
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Re: Are today's men comfortable in their sexuality?
#111615
05/19/05 12:53 PM
05/19/05 12:53 PM
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 4,206 Los Angeles
Letizia B.
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I totally agree... it's not uncommon for a girl to tell another girl, "Your shoes are so sexy!" Making general compliments either about the person herself, or about the clothes she's wearing is totally normal. Or when talking amongst themselves, they talk about other women like that... I have a friend who, at least once a week, tells me, "Adriana Lima's so hot, man. If I was a lesbian, she'd be the one."  Or when (straight) girlfriends see each other across the room, they at least smile, but a lot of times even "flirt" with each other jokingly, with like a wink or making faces, etc. Yet no one gets paranoid, like "WTF? Did she just wink at me? What is she, gay?" However, this just being from my observation-- guys hardly ever compliment each other, especially on their appearances. And most of them wouldn't be caught dead making flirtatious jokes to each other. I mean besides JG and DMC, of course. :p
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Re: Are today's men comfortable in their sexuality?
#111619
05/19/05 01:17 PM
05/19/05 01:17 PM
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 4,206 Los Angeles
Letizia B.
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Underboss
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Originally posted by Vito The Godfather: Why do they always go to the bathroom together? Gossipin? But how come in a bathroom? Does the aroma of a bathroom make it a pleasant athmosphere to chit-chat? The bathroom because there's a mirror there. Together because it's more convenient to gossip while reapplying your makeup. It kills two birds with one stone. And the aroma? A lot of times it just smells like perfume in there, because sometimes women put on just one more spray halfway through the night, in case it's fading away by then. Very valid questions, though! :p
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Re: Are today's men comfortable in their sexuality?
#111622
05/19/05 01:32 PM
05/19/05 01:32 PM
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 624 Thailand/Brazil
Vito The Godfather
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Underboss
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 624
Thailand/Brazil
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Originally posted by Letizia B.: [quote]Originally posted by Vito The Godfather: [b] Why do they always go to the bathroom together? Gossipin? But how come in a bathroom? Does the aroma of a bathroom make it a pleasant athmosphere to chit-chat? The bathroom because there's a mirror there. Together because it's more convenient to gossip while reapplying your makeup. It kills two birds with one stone. And the aroma? A lot of times it just smells like perfume in there, because sometimes women put on just one more spray halfway through the night, in case it's fading away by then. Very valid questions, though! :p [/b][/quote]I see.. But I still keep in mind that if I go out with some friends (girls included), and the gurls need the toilette, I hope don't need to wait when they go. :p
"It is the mind that makes someone wise or ignorant, slave or free."
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Re: Are today's men comfortable in their sexuality?
#111623
05/19/05 01:37 PM
05/19/05 01:37 PM
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 723 The free Iraq
Aziatic
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Underboss
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Posts: 723
The free Iraq
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Yea its true. I hear alot of girls saying this girl is beautiful but at the same time they go and say that girl isn't beautiful or whatever. For some reason, its uncomfortable for a man to say that another man looks good, dont ask me why. There might be more reasons for that. If women ask men about some other mens looks and ask why he doesnt comment, men often say "Well, Im not gay"  Atleast I heard that often... Personally I dont say look thats a good looking guy or whatever but I can see why women say that Johnny Depp is hot.. :p BTW: Adriana Lima is the hottest woman on the planet 
Quote of the Moment: "Fredo - you're my older brother, and I love you. But don't ever take sides with anyone against the Family again. Ever." Michael Corleone My DVD Collection | My Showroom
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Re: Are today's men comfortable in their sexuality?
#111624
05/19/05 01:40 PM
05/19/05 01:40 PM
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 11,468 With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
dontomasso
Consigliere to the Stars
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Consigliere to the Stars

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 11,468
With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
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I think it is a societal thing. There was recently a story in the NY Times about what guys do when they go out together, and it pretty much says straight guys do not do things like go to a really fancy restaurant, or to a museum together because, of all things, many of them fear that someone will see them together and assume they are gay.
It is slowly changing, however. In my generation I remember many fathers whou would not hug or kiss their sons...which is pure insanity. I also note that a lot of guys now greet each other with a hug, something that is done in Latin countries world wide. Guys are also much more prone to cry in public than they used to be.
As for some things, like noticing shoes, or going "shopping" for hours on end without buying anything, I think we are wired a bit differently. I think this is why guys sometimes get into trouble with the women in their lives by failing to notice a new hair do or new shoes etc.
"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"
"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."
"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."
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Re: Are today's men comfortable in their sexuality?
#111625
05/19/05 02:27 PM
05/19/05 02:27 PM
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 4,595
fathersson
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Underboss
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I think you miss a very important factor here. Many men are so comfortable with their Sexuality that they don't have to put it out on the table, shout it out to the world or prove it to some moron who wants to pick it to death when we give an answer. Why wouldn't I answer say "who the hottest man" is? BECAUSE I DON'T THINK OF MEN AS HOT! If you asked me if a guy has a rugged look, or a masculine look about him, maybe even a feminine look or nature about them then I may be able to answer that. If you asked me, who do I get along with, feel comfortable being around or enjoy sharing time with. I could answer without batting an eye. Using the term "HOT" means to me, that they have an effect on me. See that girl over there. She is good looking, she is nice, she has a wonderful smile. She the girl that she is with, now man she is "HOT" and to me that means I find something more or I am attracted to her. So why do men back-tract when they are asked that type of question using that type of wording. It is simple it isn't a normally used term when we think or talk about another guy. That is unless we find him attractive and or maybe gay or trying to express those feeling to another. You know the more I think about it. If a guys keeps asking me about guys being "hot." I may start to feel that the person himself may be gay and he is feeling me out. Trying to see how my feeling are towards the subject. BTW, when you used this question and you twist it around on some poor guy- Q: Given the choice, if you could look like any famous man in the world, what females would consider the hottest man alive, who would you choose? Most would give an answer such as Johnny Depp, Leo DiCaprio, or someone along those lines. Then I turn it around and ask "So you think he's attractive, no?" And they exclaim "HELL NAH MAN, I AIN'T GAY!" It is a cheap thing to do to someone and thus making him feel uncomfortable, not so much with the question, but first the twist itself and then in what you are trying to make it seem like. Just like a smart ass lawyer would do. I have to add, not you Don T. I just notice that this post falls behind your post. 
ONLY gun owners have the POWER to PROTECT and PRESERVE our FREEDOM. "...it is their (the people's) right and duty to be at all times armed" - Thomas Jefferson, June 5, 1824
Everyone should read. "HOW TO KILL A MOCKING BIRD"
CAUTION: This Post has not been approved by Don Cardi.
You really don't expect people to believe your shit do you?
Read: "The Daily Apple"- Telling America and the Gangster BB like it really is!
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Re: Are today's men comfortable in their sexuality?
#111626
05/19/05 02:35 PM
05/19/05 02:35 PM
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 2,413 UK
Family Honour
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Underboss
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 2,413
UK
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Well, maybe I'm just an old fashioned person coming from a different era to young things  but, if my husband started going round saying how hot he found this guy or that guy I would be very worried indeed and he would be in deep trouble too :p FH
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Re: Are today's men comfortable in their sexuality?
#111628
05/19/05 02:55 PM
05/19/05 02:55 PM
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 11,468 With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
dontomasso
Consigliere to the Stars
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Consigliere to the Stars

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 11,468
With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
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Very funny FS.
I agree with the idea that as a guy I do not find any guys to be "hot." I have my opinions on which guys are "good looking" (Sean Connery, Harrison Ford, Johnny Depp) and which guys I don't think are particularly good looking (FFC, Tom Cruise, Lawrence FIshburne). Just as I have opinions on women (IMO for example, I do not find Julia Roberts all that hot). This is all a matter of taste, not sexuality. I think, for instance Paris Hilton, while not pretty is VERY HOT in a slutty kind of way.
"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"
"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."
"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."
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Re: Are today's men comfortable in their sexuality?
#111629
05/19/05 03:03 PM
05/19/05 03:03 PM
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Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 5,455 California
XDCX
OP
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OP

Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 5,455
California
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I don't personally think someone like Johnny Depp is "hot". I don't find any man living to be "hot" because that's pushing it. IMO, when you find someone "hot", you are physically attracted to them. However, when you find someone "attractive", you think they look good, or nice, or whatever. I happen to think there are many attractive guys out there in the world, but I'm not physically attracted to any guy. And believe me, I don't go out with friends and point out guys and say "Dude, that guy's attractive.", because that's just weird, and it sends bad vibes. Nor do I check out other guys. The point I'm trying to make here is that you can find someone of the same sex attractive, and it doesn't make you guy. A lot of guys, though, don't see it that way.
"Growing up my dad was like 'You have a great last name, Galifianakis. Galifianakis...begins with a gal...and ends with a kiss...' I'm like that's great dad, can we get it changed to 'Galifianafuck' please?" -- Zach Galifianakis
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Re: Are today's men comfortable in their sexuality?
#111630
05/19/05 03:22 PM
05/19/05 03:22 PM
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 4,595
fathersson
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Underboss
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Posts: 4,595
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Originally posted by dontomasso: Very funny FS.
I agree with the idea that as a guy I do not find any guys to be "hot." I have my opinions on which guys are "good looking" (Sean Connery, Harrison Ford, Johnny Depp) and which guys I don't think are particularly good looking (FFC, Tom Cruise, Lawrence FIshburne). Just as I have opinions on women (IMO for example, I do not find Julia Roberts all that hot). This is all a matter of taste, not sexuality. I think, for instance Paris Hilton, while not pretty is VERY HOT in a slutty kind of way. Sure, I didn't want anyone getting their nose out of wack. I think, for instance Paris Hilton, while not pretty is VERY HOT in a slutty kind of way Adding that word VERY in there takes it up a notch. you sly dog you. Thank the lord, no one has turned this into a Gay rights thread.
ONLY gun owners have the POWER to PROTECT and PRESERVE our FREEDOM. "...it is their (the people's) right and duty to be at all times armed" - Thomas Jefferson, June 5, 1824
Everyone should read. "HOW TO KILL A MOCKING BIRD"
CAUTION: This Post has not been approved by Don Cardi.
You really don't expect people to believe your shit do you?
Read: "The Daily Apple"- Telling America and the Gangster BB like it really is!
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Re: Are today's men comfortable in their sexuality?
#111634
05/19/05 05:53 PM
05/19/05 05:53 PM
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 4,512 Right here, but I'd rather be ...
long_lost_corleone
Underboss
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Underboss
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Posts: 4,512
Right here, but I'd rather be ...
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I'll tell you what really gets to me... Now-a-days, it seems like whenever someone dislikes another person or thing, it immediately becomes "gay". And you know, it's not even that I find it to be offensive to people who really are gay... I say plenty of offensive things for a chuckle; it just makes people sound so unintelligent, and the thought that anyone can be so naive and uncomfortable with their own sexuality really brings us back a while.
"Somebody told me when the bomb hits, everybody in a two mile radius will be instantly sublimated, but if you lay face down on the ground for some time, avoiding the residual ripples of heat, you might survive, permanently fucked up and twisted like you're always underwater refracted. But if you do go gas, there's nothing you can do if the air that was once you is mingled and mashed with the kicked up molecules of the enemy's former body. Big-kid-tested, motherf--ker approved."
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Re: Are today's men comfortable in their sexuality?
#111636
05/19/05 06:52 PM
05/19/05 06:52 PM
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 3,389 State Asylum
Snake
Underboss
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Underboss
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 3,389
State Asylum
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Down in my neck of the woods, a fella would get his tail whooped if he said another guy was "hot." Yeah, I recognize the fact that there are "attractive men" to the opposite sex, and what I call "pretty-boys." But I view guys as something slightly above neanderthal. I don't care what their face looks like: they've got hairy bodies, hairy underarms, and a dong, just like me. What's the big deal? I may view somebody like Arnold Scharznegger in his Mr. Olympia days and say, "I wish my body was like that," or the late, great Bruce Lee and think, "Wow. I wish I was that limber and fast." But that doesn't imply (to me, anyway) that I think they're gorgeous or something. But women , on the other hand, are goddesses!
"Vaya con Dios, Castle. Go with God." "God's going to sit this one out." The Punisher (2004)
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Re: Are today's men comfortable in their sexuality?
#111637
05/19/05 08:25 PM
05/19/05 08:25 PM
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 4,595
fathersson
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Underboss
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 4,595
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Originally posted by xXx_DoN_CoRLeOnE_xXx: It is my opinion that most guys aren't comfortable in their sexuality. Whaddya yall think? A couple of people have pointed out, that after reading this thread they thought that the opening poster may really be the one to have a problem with his sexuality and that it is crying out in his post. That he is trying real hard to make an issue out of something that really isn't there. That this may be on his mind and that he doesn't know how to work it out. Interesting how these people who are taking courses all seem to dig to death everything they see or come in contact with. Do taking courses make us all walking microscopes,looking at all those around us? 
ONLY gun owners have the POWER to PROTECT and PRESERVE our FREEDOM. "...it is their (the people's) right and duty to be at all times armed" - Thomas Jefferson, June 5, 1824
Everyone should read. "HOW TO KILL A MOCKING BIRD"
CAUTION: This Post has not been approved by Don Cardi.
You really don't expect people to believe your shit do you?
Read: "The Daily Apple"- Telling America and the Gangster BB like it really is!
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Re: Are today's men comfortable in their sexuality?
#111638
05/19/05 09:23 PM
05/19/05 09:23 PM
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Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 5,455 California
XDCX
OP
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OP

Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 5,455
California
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Originally posted by fathersson: A couple of people have pointed out, that after reading this thread they thought that the opening poster may really be the one to have a problem with his sexuality and that it is crying out in his post.
Interesting how these people who are taking courses all seem to dig to death everything they see or come in contact with. Do taking courses make us all walking microscopes,looking at all those around us? I'm not even gonna dignify that with an answer. :rolleyes: The whole point behind this thread was to hear the opinions of others on this topic. I don't just go walking around randomly asking people "Do you think its ok to find people of the same sex attractive?" If you ask me, that would raise a lot of questions. All I wanted to hear was the opinions of others, and you wanna make assumptions about my sexuality. Dude, you don't even know me.
"Growing up my dad was like 'You have a great last name, Galifianakis. Galifianakis...begins with a gal...and ends with a kiss...' I'm like that's great dad, can we get it changed to 'Galifianafuck' please?" -- Zach Galifianakis
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Re: Are today's men comfortable in their sexuality?
#111639
05/19/05 10:42 PM
05/19/05 10:42 PM
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 25,984 California
The Italian Stallionette
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 25,984
California
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I don't think it's a bad topic at all.  Of course I'm not a man, so don't know how or if I can answer it. While it's true, men don't call other men "hot"; they don't go to the restroom in groups  and never plan a day of clothes shopping, I think it's just in their blood. Ok, maybe a little machoism too, but I don't know that it means they are insecure with their sexuality. Think about it ladies! If you were a man...no shopping sprees, no going out to coffee with the girls and no Lifetime movies!!!  and damn! We'd have to learn parts of a car engine!! :p Boring!! What a nightmare that would be. TIS
"Mankind must put an end to war before war puts an end to mankind. War will exist until that distant day when the conscientious objector enjoys the same reputation and prestige that the warrior does today." JFK
"War is over, if you want it" - John Lennon
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Re: Are today's men comfortable in their sexuality?
#111640
05/19/05 11:16 PM
05/19/05 11:16 PM
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,150 MI6
Krlea
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Re: Are today's men comfortable in their sexuality?
#111641
05/20/05 03:05 AM
05/20/05 03:05 AM
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 31,330 New Jersey, USA
J Geoff
The Don
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The Don

Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 31,330
New Jersey, USA
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This thread is just hilarious. And typical. The original poll that this question is likely based on used the word "hot" -- but most of the poll had terribly worded questions to begin with. Anyway - Many people, I would've hoped, would actually get passed the word "hot" and just answer the question. Yes, I think Johnny Depp is a good looking fella, and that's how I answered the question. (Whether I think he's HOT or not, well, I'm not tellin'! :p  ) My point is, it's not -- or at least SHOULD not be -- "a gay thing." I don't care what any man says: We all know who's good looking, who's average, and who's ugly. No doubt about it. It has nothing to do with sexual attraction. The ONLY problem the poll had was that it used the word "hot" and everyone got their jockstraps in a twist. :rolleyes: Maybe I'm the only one here, but, I have no problem at all w/ myself, anyone else, nor their sexuality (ask my boyfriend DMC!  ) -- and really think that some who present themselves as SO uptight as to say "no not me, I can't answer that!" are sooooo insecure about themselves in general, that it's a shame. It seems the ones who scream the loudest are the ones most insecure or unknowing or even most unwilling to accept themselves -- let alone anyone else. And that's the real shame. Who gives a shit? I surely don't. And I would hope that no one else does, either. Because those who do aren't those I usually like to associate with. But, to finally answer your question... (  ) No, we're not. But, it's been getting better than it has been lately, I think....
I studied Italian for 2 semesters. Not once was a "C" pronounced as a "G", and never was a trailing "I" ignored! And I'm from Jersey!  lol Whaddaya want me to do? Whack a guy? Off a guy? Whack off a guy? --Peter Griffin My DVDs | Facebook | Godfather Filming Locations
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Re: Are today's men comfortable in their sexuality?
#111644
05/20/05 04:06 PM
05/20/05 04:06 PM
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 5,602 Yunkai
afsaneh77
Mother of Dragons
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Mother of Dragons

Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 5,602
Yunkai
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Originally posted by Krlea: [quote]Originally posted by Family Honour: [b] Well, maybe I'm just an old fashioned person coming from a different era to young things but, if my husband started going round saying how hot he found this guy or that guy I would be very worried indeed and he would be in deep trouble too :p
FH Ditto what she said. I'm pretty young, from this era, but I still don't want my husband saying a guy is hot. I don't see it as them not being comfortable with their sexuality, I jsut see it as they don't have to sexualize men. [/b][/quote]Hey, what makes a difference? I mean if my husband goes around and says how hot anyone else other than me is I get worried and he'd be in a lot of trouble. Although I think "hot" and "beautiful" are two different things but I think if someone has to say "I'm not into same sex but that person is beautiful, or even hot"; that makes that person insecure or at least so much worried about what others think. I like people who don't care if something like that make others think they are gay. Just say that fella is good looking. Take a little time shopping. Watch sports. Fix that broken radio. And you still can be straight.
"Fire cannot kill a dragon." -Daenerys Targaryen, Game of Thrones
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