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Why?
#130462
09/25/05 07:26 PM
09/25/05 07:26 PM
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 19,066 OH, VA, KY
Mignon
OP
Mama Mig
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OP
Mama Mig

Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 19,066
OH, VA, KY
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1...Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? #2...Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is no money in the account? #3...Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet! #4...Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? #5...Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? #6...Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? #7...Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? #8...Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? #9...Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? #10..If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? #11..Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? #12..Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? #13..Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? #14..Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? #15..Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try? #16..How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? #17..When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?" #18..Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? #19..In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? #20..How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? #21..If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try it like your wife told you to do it? #23...The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons...is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you.
Dylan Matthew Moran born 10/30/12
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Re: Why?
#130465
09/25/05 08:07 PM
09/25/05 08:07 PM
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 6
goebbels
Associate
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Associate
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 6
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"#10..If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?" Sorry, but that's a dumb question. Behold. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evolution
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Re: Why?
#130466
09/25/05 08:48 PM
09/25/05 08:48 PM
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 19,066 OH, VA, KY
Mignon
OP
Mama Mig
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OP
Mama Mig

Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 19,066
OH, VA, KY
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Originally posted by Letizia B.: Nice one Mig! These are all so true and funny!! #14 cracked me up... I do that all the time. I do that to  the other day matter of fact.
Dylan Matthew Moran born 10/30/12
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Re: Why?
#130470
09/26/05 06:35 AM
09/26/05 06:35 AM
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 22,902 New York
SC
Consigliere
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Consigliere

Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 22,902
New York
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Originally posted by Mignon: #6...Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Because he had a close shave with a lion. Great list, Miggie!
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Re: Why?
#130471
09/26/05 06:45 AM
09/26/05 06:45 AM
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 7,952 It's fun to stay in the YMCA
Turi Giuliano
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 7,952
It's fun to stay in the YMCA
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Originally posted by SC: [quote]Originally posted by Mignon: [b] #6...Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Because he had a close shave with a lion. [/b][/quote]  I didn't know whether to groan or laugh at first.
So die all who betray Giuliano
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Re: Why?
#130473
09/26/05 08:59 AM
09/26/05 08:59 AM
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 3,733
JustMe
Underboss
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Underboss
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 3,733
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Originally posted by afsaneh77: [quote]Originally posted by Mignon: [b] #23...The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons...is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you. JustMe, Lavinia, Zia hmmm... I guess I'm all right then. :p  [/b][/quote]Your choice of friends is very suspicious, young lady! :p Anyway, I'd look pretty normal too in company with Mozart, Chopin and Schumann! 
keep your mouth shut, and your eyes open.
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Re: Why?
#130476
09/26/05 10:25 AM
09/26/05 10:25 AM
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 8,766 South of the Pinelands
MaryCas
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 8,766
South of the Pinelands
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Yeow, my brain hurts trying to figure these out. Correction dt: I smell, but your feet stink. Nevermind Tarzan's beard, how about some hair on his chest! :rolleyes:
Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, whoever humbles himself will be exalted - Matthew 23:12
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Re: Why?
#130477
09/26/05 10:57 AM
09/26/05 10:57 AM
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 11,468 With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
dontomasso
Consigliere to the Stars
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Consigliere to the Stars

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 11,468
With Geary in Fredo's Brothel
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Originally posted by MaryCas: Nevermind Tarzan's beard, how about some hair on his chest! :rolleyes: The original Tarzan had man boobs
"Io sono stanco, sono imbigliato, and I wan't everyone here to know, there ain't gonna be no trouble from me..Don Corleone..Cicc' a port!"
"I stood in the courtroom like a fool."
"I am Constanza: Lord of the idiots."
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Re: Why?
#130478
09/26/05 11:58 AM
09/26/05 11:58 AM
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 19,066 OH, VA, KY
Mignon
OP
Mama Mig
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OP
Mama Mig

Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 19,066
OH, VA, KY
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Don Tom. Those are great SC, You didn't let me down with those one liners. You're the best. 
Dylan Matthew Moran born 10/30/12
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Re: Why?
#130480
09/26/05 03:08 PM
09/26/05 03:08 PM
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 5,602 Yunkai
afsaneh77
Mother of Dragons
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Mother of Dragons

Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 5,602
Yunkai
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Originally posted by JustMe: Your choice of friends is very suspicious, young lady! :p Which choices do you specifically mean?  :p
"Fire cannot kill a dragon." -Daenerys Targaryen, Game of Thrones
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