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Re: BREAKING NEWS - FBI NABS MAFIA JOKESTERS!
[Re: NYMafia]
#1054807
03/26/23 10:28 AM
03/26/23 10:28 AM
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Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
NYMafia
OP
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OP

Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
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Sunday Shenanigans!... - The head nun of a convent tells two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes.
So one nun says to the other, "Hey, what do you say, let's take all our clothes off and fold them up neatly, just lock the door, and we'll paint in the nude?
So they do this, and begin to paint their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, "Who is it?"
The voice says, "Blind man!"
The nuns look at one another, then one says, "He's blind. He can't even see. What could it hurt?" So they let him in.
The blind man walks in, smiles and says, "Hey, great set of tits you got there. Where do you want me to hang the blinds?"
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Re: BREAKING NEWS - FBI NABS MAFIA JOKESTERS!
[Re: NYMafia]
#1055416
04/02/23 07:14 AM
04/02/23 07:14 AM
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Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
NYMafia
OP
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OP

Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
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Sunday Shenanigans... -
The Sicilian rescue squad was called to the palatial estate of an elderly mob boss for an apparent heart attack the mafioso had had.
By the time the squad got there it was too late and the mafioso had died.
While consoling the mistress, one of the recusers noticed that the bed was a mess.
He asked the young woman what symptoms "Don Vito" had suffered and if anything had precipitated the old man's heart attack.
The sultry mistress replied, "Well, Vito and I were in the bed making love and he started moaning, groaning, thrashing about the bed, panting, and sweating. I thought he was coming...but I guess he was going!" -
Lol, Hope everybody enjoys their Sunday!
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Re: BREAKING NEWS - FBI NABS MAFIA JOKESTERS!
[Re: NYMafia]
#1055438
04/02/23 09:53 AM
04/02/23 09:53 AM
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Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
NYMafia
OP
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OP

Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
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THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD ALWAYS ATTEND MASS!... - One Palm Sunday, a little boy named Peppino had a sore throat and had to stay home from church with his babysitter. When the rest of his family returned home, they were carrying palm branches. Little Peppino asked his papa what they were for?
His father, Don Vito, explained to him that the townspeople held them over Jesus' head as he walked by.
In a sad, disappointed voice, the little boy replied, "Wouldn't you know it! The one Sunday I miss, Jesus shows up!" -
For those of you who celebrate...Happy Palm Sunday!
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Re: BREAKING NEWS - FBI NABS MAFIA JOKESTERS!
[Re: NYMafia]
#1055453
04/02/23 01:38 PM
04/02/23 01:38 PM
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 3,100
JCrusher
Underboss
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Underboss
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 3,100
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THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD ALWAYS ATTEND MASS!... - One Palm Sunday, a little boy named Peppino had a sore throat and had to stay home from church with his babysitter. When the rest of his family returned home, they were carrying palm branches. Little Peppino asked his papa what they were for?
His father, Don Vito, explained to him that the townspeople held them over Jesus' head as he walked by.
In a sad, disappointed voice, the little boy replied, "Wouldn't you know it! The one Sunday I miss, Jesus shows up!" -
For those of you who celebrate...Happy Palm Sunday!
! . Happy Palm Sunday!
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Re: BREAKING NEWS - FBI NABS MAFIA JOKESTERS!
[Re: NYMafia]
#1055882
04/08/23 02:05 PM
04/08/23 02:05 PM
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Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 817
Friend_of_Henry
Underboss
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Underboss
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 817
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My close friend is a Jew married to a Catholic. I just got off the phone and wished them a "Blessed Passover" and "Happy Easter" :-)
"Never walk in a room that you don't know how to get out of"- Henry Zottola
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Re: BREAKING NEWS - FBI NABS MAFIA JOKESTERS!
[Re: NYMafia]
#1055910
04/08/23 08:03 PM
04/08/23 08:03 PM
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Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
NYMafia
OP
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OP

Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
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While examining the recently deceased corpse of former Sicilian Mafia boss Girolamo Minore, the attending mortician noticed that Minore had the largest penis he'd ever seen on a man.
"I'm very sorry, Don Minore," respectfully replied the mortician to his expired subject, "But I can't send 'all' of you to be cremated with such a tremendously large penis such as this. Your penis, my dear mafioso friend, must be saved for posterity."
The mortician then proceeded to remove Minore's penis. He then slid it into a long jar and placed it in his briefcase. When he got home, he decided to show the unique specimen to his wife.
"My dear, I have something to show you that you're not gonna believe, even with your own eyes," he said. The smiling mortician then removed the jar from his briefcase and placed it directly in front of his wife.
She took one glance, the blood immediately drained from her face, and she screamed out, "Oh dear God, no, Minore is dead!"
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Re: BREAKING NEWS - FBI NABS MAFIA JOKESTERS!
[Re: NYMafia]
#1056027
04/10/23 03:18 AM
04/10/23 03:18 AM
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Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
NYMafia
OP
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OP

Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
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An Easter "Special" - A man, his wife, and his extremely annoying mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land. While they were there, the mother-in-law had a sudden heart attack and passed away.
The undertaker told them, "You can have her shipped back home for $5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150."
The man thought about it for a few minutes and then replied, "A man died here about 2000 years ago. He was buried here and then three days later, he rose from the dead."
"I just can't take that chance!" -
We thought this was so cute, that we just had to share it with all of you.
HAPPY EASTER!
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Re: BREAKING NEWS - FBI NABS MAFIA JOKESTERS!
[Re: NYMafia]
#1056143
04/11/23 06:18 AM
04/11/23 06:18 AM
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Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
NYMafia
OP
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OP

Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
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A Tuesday Tickler.... - THE PRIEST & THE TAXI DRIVER
A Catholic Priest and a taxi driver both died and went to Heaven. Saint Peter was there at the pearly gates waiting for them.
The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a mansion. It had everything you could possibly imagine, from a bowling alley to an Olympic sized swimming pool.
"Oh my word, thank you so much," exclaimed the taxi driver.
Next, St. Peter led the priest to a rough old shack that held only a bunk bed and a small black-n-white television set.
Saint Peter turned to leave, but the priest cried out, "Wait, I think you are a little mixed up here. Shouldn't I be the one who gets the mansion? After all, I was a priest, devotedly went to church every single day, and preached God's word!"
"Yes, that's all true." replied Saint Peter. "But during your Sunday sermons the people slept. When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed!" -
Happy Tuesday GBB!
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Re: BREAKING NEWS - FBI NABS MAFIA JOKESTERS!
[Re: NYMafia]
#1056697
04/17/23 07:26 AM
04/17/23 07:26 AM
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Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
NYMafia
OP
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OP

Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
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A little chuckle to start our week... - Little Frankie was walking along the beach one day when he spotted a dirty corked-up bottle wash up on the shoreline.
Out of curiosity he picked it up and rubbed it clean.
A Genie suddenly appeared, and said, "Little boy, thank you letting me out of this bottle. It seems I've been trapped in here forever. To show my gratitude, I will grant you one wish of your choosing....any wish at all"
Little Frankie thought for a moment about how poor his family was, and then asked, "Please make my daddy win Lotto!"
The Genie replied, "Your wish is my command!"
Two days later, Little Frankie came into his house all excited and yelled out to his mommy and daddy, "Our landscaper Joe just won $10 million dollars on the lottery!"
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Re: BREAKING NEWS - FBI NABS MAFIA JOKESTERS!
[Re: NYMafia]
#1057522
04/24/23 06:57 AM
04/24/23 06:57 AM
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Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
NYMafia
OP
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OP

Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
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Monday Madness... - THE THREE NUNS
Three Italian nuns die and go to Heaven.
At the pearly gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says, "Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that The Lord is granting you six months to go back to earth and become anyone you wish to be."
The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren."
And "poof" she's gone!
The second nuns says, "I'd like to be Madonna."...and 'poof' she's gone too!
The third nun says, "I want to be Alberta Pipalini."
Looking perplexed, St. Peter asked her, "Who's that?"
"Alberta Pipalini," replies the nun.
St. Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry sister, but that name just doesn't ring a bell."
So the nun reaches into her habit and pulls out a newspaper clipping and hands it to St. Peter.
St. Peter reads the paper and then starts laughing. He hands the news clipping back to her and says, "No sister, the article says it was the 'Alberta Pipeline' that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months."
-
Have a nice day fellas!
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Re: BREAKING NEWS - FBI NABS MAFIA JOKESTERS!
[Re: NYMafia]
#1057606
04/25/23 10:19 AM
04/25/23 10:19 AM
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Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
NYMafia
OP
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OP

Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
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A Tuesday Tickle... --
THE PIANO PLAYER!.
A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. As he's sipping on his beer he notices a tiny piano and a very little man standing beside it. The little fellow soon starts playing the piano beautifully.
The man cannot believe his eyes.
Curious, the man asks the bartender, "Where did you get that little piano player from?"
The bartender smiles and then replies, "Oh, I have a genie in the back room who can grant any wish. Wanna give it a try pal?
Excited, the man rushes to the back and finds the genie. "I want a million bucks!," he exclaims.
The genie nods and suddenly disappears into thin air. Within seconds, the bar is filled with loud quacking sounds.
The man looks around to find a million ducks flying into the bar and making a huge mess.
Now frustrated and all covered in feathers, the man storms back to the bartender yelling, "What the hell is wrong with you man? I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!"
The bartender shrugs his shoulders and says, "Do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?"
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