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Re: BREAKING NEWS - FBI NABS MAFIA JOKESTERS!
[Re: Toodoped]
#1060295
05/27/23 07:39 AM
05/27/23 07:39 AM
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Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
NYMafia
OP
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OP

Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
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Happy Memorial Day weekend! God rest their brave souls.
Btw, what's the difference between a magician and a Mob researcher?
- the magician pulls rabbits out of hats, while the mob researcher pulls shit out of rats.
Cheers Yes indeed Toodoped. Thats the most important thing...May each and every one of them rest in peace, and may God bless all their souls. Where would any of us be without their unwavering bravery and sacrifice? I dread to think of it. Enjoy the holiday!
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Re: BREAKING NEWS - FBI NABS MAFIA JOKESTERS!
[Re: NYMafia]
#1060359
05/28/23 06:56 AM
05/28/23 06:56 AM
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Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
NYMafia
OP
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OP

Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
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Some Sunday Shenanigans.... - One Sunday morning during recess, Miss O'Malley found that one of her young students was making faces at some of the other kids on the playground. So she decided to stop and have a little talk with the child.
Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School Teacher said, "Anthony, when I was a child, I was told that if I made ugly faces, my face would eventually freeze up and stay that way."
Little Anthony pondered for a moment, then looked up at her and replied, "Well, after all Miss O'Malley, you can't say that you weren't warned."
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Re: BREAKING NEWS - FBI NABS MAFIA JOKESTERS!
[Re: NYMafia]
#1060443
05/29/23 09:26 AM
05/29/23 09:26 AM
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Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 5,600 Underground
Toodoped
Murder Ink
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Murder Ink

Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 5,600
Underground
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- Q: How do you get rid of Germans fascists?
A: Von by von.
Nice one  Btw...an old lady walked into a dentist's office, and suddenly took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. Completely confused, the dentist said "I think you have the wrong room." And so the old lady replied "You put in my husband's teeth last week right?! Now you have to remove them doctor."
Mongol General: Conan, what is best in life?
Conan: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.
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Re: BREAKING NEWS - FBI NABS MAFIA JOKESTERS!
[Re: Toodoped]
#1060444
05/29/23 09:42 AM
05/29/23 09:42 AM
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Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
NYMafia
OP
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OP

Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
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- Q: How do you get rid of Germans fascists?
A: Von by von.
Nice one  Btw...an old lady walked into a dentist's office, and suddenly took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. Completely confused, the dentist said "I think you have the wrong room." And so the old lady replied "You put in my husband's teeth last week right?! Now you have to remove them doctor." Thats hysterical...a very cute joke. (I gotta remember that one) Lol
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Re: BREAKING NEWS - FBI NABS MAFIA JOKESTERS!
[Re: NYMafia]
#1060445
05/29/23 09:48 AM
05/29/23 09:48 AM
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Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 5,600 Underground
Toodoped
Murder Ink
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Murder Ink

Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 5,600
Underground
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- Q: How do you get rid of Germans fascists?
A: Von by von.
Nice one  Btw...an old lady walked into a dentist's office, and suddenly took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. Completely confused, the dentist said "I think you have the wrong room." And so the old lady replied "You put in my husband's teeth last week right?! Now you have to remove them doctor." Thats hysterical...a very cute joke. (I gotta remember that one) Lol The most funny thing for me is that I have this friend who is a dentist....lets say from Europe...who sends me a New Year card every year with always the same joke lol
Mongol General: Conan, what is best in life?
Conan: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.
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Re: BREAKING NEWS - FBI NABS MAFIA JOKESTERS!
[Re: NYMafia]
#1060640
06/01/23 04:49 AM
06/01/23 04:49 AM
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Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
NYMafia
OP
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OP

Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
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Thursday's Laugh of the Day!... - An unfaithful wife was having a romp in her marital bed with her lover when she heard her husband's key in the door. The guy got nervous, but she said, "Stay right where you are," she told her lover. "My husband's usually so drunk he won't even notice you're in bed with me."
But a few minutes later...after her husband stumbled into bed, through his drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out from the covers at the end of the bed. He turned to his wife and said, "Hey, there's six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What the hell is going on here?"
His wife retorted, "You're so drunk you miscounted. Get out of bed and try again. You can see better standing over there."
So the husband climbed out of bed and started to recount from the corner of the room, "One, two, three, four. I'm sorry dear, you were right."
The wife then said, "See honey. Now why don't you come to bed and get some sleep dear."
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Re: BREAKING NEWS - FBI NABS MAFIA JOKESTERS!
[Re: NYMafia]
#1060766
06/02/23 08:05 AM
06/02/23 08:05 AM
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Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
NYMafia
OP
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OP

Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
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Freaky Friday...TGIF - A man joined a very exclusive nudist colony...On his first day there, he takes off all his clothes and goes wandering off to see what's around.
A gorgeous naked blonde soon walked by, and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman noticed his erection, and comes over to talk with him, saying, "Did you call for me?" The man replies, "No, what do you mean?"
She says, "You must be new here. There's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me." Smiling, she then led him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on a towel, and eagerly pulled him to her, and then happily let him have his way with her.
After awhile, they were done. So the man, now completely satisfied and smiling widely, decided to continue exploring the colony's facilities. He entered a sauna and, as he sat down, he farted...Within minutes a huge hairy man lumbered out of the steam room toward him. "Did you call for me?" asked the hairy gargantuan.
"No, what do you mean?" asked the newcomer. "You must be new here," exclaimed the hairy fellow. "It's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me." The huge burly fellow then forcefully spun him around, bent him over a bench and had his way with the startled man.
When the gargantuan was finally finished doing his business, the dazed newcomer staggered back to the colony office, where he was greeted by the smiling, naked receptionist. "May I help you?" asked the receptionist.
The man yelled, "Here's my membership card. You can also have the key back and you can keep the $500 membership fee as well."
"But sir," she replied, "you've only been here for a few hours. You haven't even had a chance to see all our facilities yet!"
The man angrily retorted, "Listen lady, I'm 68 years old. I only get an erection once a month, but I fart at least 10 times a day. "I'm outta here!"
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Re: BREAKING NEWS - FBI NABS MAFIA JOKESTERS!
[Re: NYMafia]
#1060855
06/04/23 06:19 AM
06/04/23 06:19 AM
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Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
NYMafia
OP
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OP

Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
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Some Sunday Shenanigans... -
Mr. O'Malley started noticing that he felt extremely under the weather certain days of the week, while on other days, he consistently felt great. So he decided to make an appointment with his physician to see what was wrong with him.
After arriving at the doctor's office and sitting in the waiting room for a few minutes, he was finally called into the examination room. Dr. Vinny Boombotz asked him, "So what's wrong Mr. O'Malley?"
Well, O'Malley replied, "Why do I consistently always feel so great on Saturdays and Sundays, but feel so sick on all the other days of the week?
So Dr. Boombotz said, "Let me take a good look at you and see what's going on here." The doctor then proceeded to give O'Malley a thorough examination. When he was done, he reviewed his notes in silence for a few minutes while rubbing his chin....
"Mr. O'Malley," exclaimed the doctor. I'm not positive, but from all indications it looks like you're suffering from a weekend immune system! -
ButtonGuys hopes everybody has a good Sunday!...
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Re: BREAKING NEWS - FBI NABS MAFIA JOKESTERS!
[Re: NYMafia]
#1061229
06/08/23 06:18 AM
06/08/23 06:18 AM
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Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 5,600 Underground
Toodoped
Murder Ink
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Murder Ink

Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 5,600
Underground
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Some mafia thugs are playing cards...and so one of them says, "Where's Joey? He never misses poker night."
His friend says, "Oh, didn't you hear? Joey's dead."
"Awww, that's a shame. How did he die?"
"Well, he went to the doctor last week and found out he had gonorrhoea."
"So? Gonorrhoea isn't fatal."
"It is if you give it to the boss's wife."
Mongol General: Conan, what is best in life?
Conan: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.
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Re: BREAKING NEWS - FBI NABS MAFIA JOKESTERS!
[Re: NYMafia]
#1061261
06/08/23 04:12 PM
06/08/23 04:12 PM
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Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
NYMafia
OP
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OP

Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
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Ah, what the heck! One more for today, just for the fun of it... -
One evening two mob arsonists, 'Joey the Torch' and 'Vinny the Match' got together to have a few drinks at a local bar. Pretty soon, the conversation came around to discussing their nefarious work and comparing notes, when Joey commented to Vinny, "Did you hear about the big fire I set last night at the circus?"
"No" replied Vinny.
"Yeah," Joey retorted, "It was in tents!"
Last edited by NYMafia; 06/08/23 06:23 PM.
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Re: BREAKING NEWS - FBI NABS MAFIA JOKESTERS!
[Re: NYMafia]
#1061459
06/11/23 05:51 AM
06/11/23 05:51 AM
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Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
NYMafia
OP
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OP

Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
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SUNDAY'S SHITS-N-GIGGLES... -
A YOUNG MAFIOSO IN TRAINING...
Antonino, the 11-year old son of a Sicilian Mafia boss enters the village barber shop. Pietro the barber, whispers to his customer Angelo, "I would never say this out loud for fear of insulting "Don" Vito and incurring his wrath, but you gotta admit Angelo, his son Antonino is the dumbest kid in our entire village. He's not cut from the same cloth as his father. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, he then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, Antonino?" The boy looks at the barber's hands, reaches for the quarters, then smiles and leaves. "See! What did I tell you?" exclaims Pietro the barber. "That kid never learns! He's dumb as dirt!"
Later, after Angelo had gotten his haircut and left the barbershop, he spotted young Antonino coming out of the gelato shop.
He called out to the boy, "Antonino, 'vieni qui.' come here! Can I ask you a question? Why did you only take the quarters instead of the full dollar bill"
The young mafioso took a lick of his gelato cone, smiled wryly, and then replied: "Because the day I take the dollar bill from Pietro, this little racket I got going with him will be over!" -
...Happy Sunday folks!
Last edited by NYMafia; 06/11/23 06:03 AM.
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Re: BREAKING NEWS - FBI NABS MAFIA JOKESTERS!
[Re: NYMafia]
#1061595
06/12/23 05:27 PM
06/12/23 05:27 PM
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Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
NYMafia
OP
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OP

Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
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Monday Night Madness...... -
A guy once spoke to God and asked, "God, is it true, that to you, a billion years is only like a second?"
God replied back “Yes it is.”
The guy then asked, "God, is it true, that to you, a billion dollars is only like a penny?"
God exclaimed, “Yes, my son, it is”
The guy finally asked, "God, can I please just have a penny?"
God then said, “Why of course you can my son. No problem whatsoever. Just wait a second, ok?”
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Re: BREAKING NEWS - FBI NABS MAFIA JOKESTERS!
[Re: NYMafia]
#1061614
06/13/23 07:11 AM
06/13/23 07:11 AM
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Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
NYMafia
OP
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OP

Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
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A Tuesday Giggle... - THE HOT DOG VENDOR...
“Can you please make me two with everything on them,” asked the Buddhist of the tofu hot dog vendor. Then, after getting his tofu hot dogs, the Buddhist handed the vendor a $20 bill. The vendor took the money, turned his back, and then began helping the next customer standing in line. Puzzled, the Buddhist asked the vendor, “Hey, where is my change?" The vendor replied, “Don’t you know, change comes from within!”
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Re: BREAKING NEWS - FBI NABS MAFIA JOKESTERS!
[Re: NYMafia]
#1061620
06/13/23 09:19 AM
06/13/23 09:19 AM
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Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 1,940
ralphie_cifaretto
Underboss
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Underboss
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 1,940
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A Tuesday Giggle... - THE HOT DOG VENDOR...
“Can you please make me two with everything on them,” asked the Buddhist of the tofu hot dog vendor. Then, after getting his tofu hot dogs, the Buddhist handed the vendor a $20 bill. The vendor took the money, turned his back, and then began helping the next customer standing in line. Puzzled, the Buddhist asked the vendor, “Hey, where is my change?" The vendor replied, “Don’t you know, change comes from within!”
Absolutely terrible joke. I wouldn't even tell it to a child!!! You were doing so good
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