2 registered members (dixiemafia, 1 invisible),
444
guests, and 53
spiders. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
Forums21
Topics43,354
Posts1,086,401
Members10,381
|
Most Online1,254 Mar 13th, 2025
|
|
|
Re: BREAKING NEWS - FBI NABS MAFIA JOKESTERS!
[Re: NYMafia]
#1088476
04/22/24 05:49 AM
04/22/24 05:49 AM
|
Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
NYMafia
OP
|
OP

Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
|
THE IMPOSSIBLE DREAM...
A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a genie's lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold, a genie appeared. The genie said to her, "I can grant you one wish, but only one wish! So...what will it be?"
The young woman thought for a moment, and then pulled out a map of the Middle East from her back pack.
"See these countries, Egypt, Syria, Lebanon, Iran, Iraq, Palestine and Israel etc.? Well I want them all to live in peace" she said.
The Genie studied the map, then commented, What the fuck, lady! These countries have been fighting one another for hundreds of years. This is impossible, better try another wish," the Genie grunted.
"Well" responded the young woman, "then I want the perfect man. A guy who is kind, compassionate, and gentle, who likes children and housework, loves to cook, and will help me clean the house...even if it's Super Bowl Sunday."
The puzzled Genie just stared at the young woman for a long, hard minute, and then finally retorted, "Show me that fucking map again, lady." -
Happy Monday GBB!
Last edited by NYMafia; 04/22/24 05:57 AM.
|
|
|
Re: BREAKING NEWS - FBI NABS MAFIA JOKESTERS!
[Re: NYMafia]
#1088495
04/22/24 03:04 PM
04/22/24 03:04 PM
|
Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
NYMafia
OP
|
OP

Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
|
DRUNKEN BAPTISMS...
A drunken man stumbles upon a baptism by the River Jordan. The priest is standing there dunking people's heads underwater and when they emerge, the priest would ask if they'd found Jesus.
So the drunk wanders down to the river to join in. He stands in line and when it gets to his turn, the priest dunks the man's head under the water. When he pulls the man back up, the priest then asked the man if he has found Jesus, to which the man replied no!
So the priest dunked him underwater again...but this time for a little longer. Once again the priest pulls the man up out of the water and asks if he's found Jesus, but once again the man replies no!
So the priest dunks him under a third time, only this time he kept the man underwater for a long while. When he finally pulled him back up the priest asked if he'd finally found Jesus, to which the man asked, "Are you positive this is where the guy fell in?"
|
|
|
Re: BREAKING NEWS - FBI NABS MAFIA JOKESTERS!
[Re: NYMafia]
#1088662
04/25/24 06:57 AM
04/25/24 06:57 AM
|
Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
NYMafia
OP
|
OP

Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
|
THE ELECTION PROCESS...
One afternoon, an American, a Japanese, and a Bosnian were chatting over a cup of coffee and the discussion turned to political elections.
The American, proud of his country, stated; "In America, in less than 2 hours after the casting of the election ballots, we pretty much already know who will win the race."
The proud Japanese, not to be outdone, retorted; "That’s nothing! In Japan, we get the election results within 2 minutes."
Thinking he had them beat, the clueless Bosnian mocked them and remarked; "I don’t get it fellas. Why does it take both your countries so long? In Bosnia, we already know who got elected 2 months before our Election Day."
|
|
|
Re: BREAKING NEWS - FBI NABS MAFIA JOKESTERS!
[Re: Lou_Para]
#1089161
05/02/24 08:11 PM
05/02/24 08:11 PM
|
Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
NYMafia
OP
|
OP

Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
|
What’s the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu?
One requires tweetment. While the other requires an oinkment. Now that's funny !!! Why thank you, Mr. Para! Glad I made you smile. Lol.
|
|
|
Re: BREAKING NEWS - FBI NABS MAFIA JOKESTERS!
[Re: NYMafia]
#1090285
05/18/24 10:32 AM
05/18/24 10:32 AM
|
Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
NYMafia
OP
|
OP

Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
|
|
|
|
Re: BREAKING NEWS - FBI NABS MAFIA JOKESTERS!
[Re: NYMafia]
#1090703
05/23/24 03:35 PM
05/23/24 03:35 PM
|
Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
NYMafia
OP
|
OP

Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
|
Here's one the forum might enjoy. This little gem is titled….
“THE KNOW IT ALL” (aka The Schmuck)
One day, an American, a Macedonian, and a Russian were discussing space exploration and how they could reach the planets.
The American said, I think I can get to Mars!
The Russian and Macedonian looked at one another and then asked him, “And just how would you do that?”
But the American just smiled coyly, and then replied, “Thats really none of your business.”
Hearing what the American said, the Russian became very agitated and nervous. He quickly retorted back, “Then I’ll go to Venus!”
The American and Macedonian asked him, “How?”
The Russian smirked back at them and commented, “I’m still working out the details. But somehow, I will go there. You will see. And It’s none of your business.”
.…The American and the Russian started arguing about their respective space plans.
Afraid of being outdone, the Macedonian thought long and hard for a minute, quickly coming up with his “master plan.” To the surprise of the other two men, he blurted out, “I’m going to travel to the sun!”
Upon hearing his ridiculous statement, the American and Russian just looked at one another for a moment, then burst out laughing in the face of the Macedonian.
They commented back to him, “So, you’re going to travel to the sun, huh? Ha-Ha! You’re such a fool! Are you a crazy man? You must be out of your mind, because the blazing sun is so hot that you can’t even get close to it…You would melt in a split-second!”
The hotheaded Macedonian became so angered by their response, because he was so confident that he had everything all figured out, the Macedonian smugly retorted back with false bravado, “YOU are the only fools here! Going to the sun will be no big problem for me! You see gentlemen, I have it all figured out. I am a Macedonian and I’m much more intelligent than the both of you!.…I plan to travel there at night!”
Last edited by NYMafia; 05/23/24 03:37 PM.
|
|
|
Re: BREAKING NEWS - FBI NABS MAFIA JOKESTERS!
[Re: NYMafia]
#1090705
05/23/24 03:46 PM
05/23/24 03:46 PM
|
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,231
TheKillingJoke
Underboss
|
Underboss
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,231
|
|
|
|
Re: BREAKING NEWS - FBI NABS MAFIA JOKESTERS!
[Re: NYMafia]
#1091390
06/01/24 06:43 AM
06/01/24 06:43 AM
|
Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
NYMafia
OP
|
OP

Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 12,506
|
THE GATES OF HEAVEN…
One day, a tribe of 40 Gypsies all suddenly died and went up to Heaven.
They turned up at the Pearly Gates, asking St. Peter to let them in.
Upon seeing the huge crowd, St. Peter told them he did not have room to accommodate all 40 of them, that he only had room for 10. So he then advised them to go away and discuss among themselves which 10 would come in.
…A short while later, St. Peter went to see God and told him, “They’re gone!”
God replied, “Who, the Gypsies?”
St. Peter retorted, “No, the fucking gates!”
|
|
|
|