Everything would have to be taken in context here for me. Murder is obviously the 'no returner' but rape can devastate a life to such an extent maybe death is on par for that person!
Betrayal I can and have lived with I believe treason is still punishable by death in law in UK (they'd probably never use it, tho they should for terrorists I think)
Dont even get me started on crimes against children......I know I would rather be raped, or anything as opposed to a child having to suffer that and I'm going out on a limb here but I would imagine most women would rather they were raped than their/any child would be.

Missed you lots, FH!

WELCOME BACK!!!!!!!!

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FH is back!!! Welcome back!!! You've been missed.

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Woo hoo...FH's back.

I echo the above sentiments. It's great to "see" you.

Aww thanks you sweethearts I missed you too much couldn't keep away

Ok, a few things, let me start with the most important :

1) Family Honor - WELCOME BACK !!!
I'm sure you dont remember me...I joined 2 months before you did but I was away the last 3 years, but anyway, its really great to see all these comebacks....SNAKE and now FH...now where is Guineapig and Liz 85 ?


2) Heres a question to everyone : someone you love so much and trust with your eyes closed, say someone like your own mother....imagine one day to find out that your own mother betrayed you...how would that make you feel? wouldnt that be 10000 times worse than being raped by a stranger?

Thats what I meant when I asked if betrayal is worse than rape.

3) I was wondering about that...the 'male' victims you talk about, are these cases of rape by force?
I'm just curious cos I never heard of a man getting raped by a woman.
maybe the girl drugged the guy first, or maybe its an older woman who raped a child, but I NEVER heard of case when a GIRL raped a BOY by FORCE,or WOMAN raped a MAN by FORCE...(unless she used the drug before)
What Im asking LDV, is if there is actually a case when that happened, or if anyone else ever heard of anything like that?

Another wandering nomad returns and brings sanity to our beloved BB! Welcome back, FH!

Back to the "argument" (although why it is that is beyond me)...Unlike LDV, I haven't seen too many child abuse victims FIRSTHAND (that I know of). But I've seen untold numbers on TV, read about them in magazines, etc. From what I gather, they pretty much live with Death everyday, in a sense: thoughts/attempts of suicide, blaming themselves, the feeling of filth and guilt, the feeling of unspeakable violation, etc., etc., etc. That's like DYING a little every day. I'd have as much sympathy for any rape victim, regardless of age. But to speculate there's some kind of time-span for one to recover isn't a guess I'd care to hazard. I just don't believe there exists a full recovery for these hapless victims. If I WERE to speculate about anything, I'd be willing to guess that most of them would have preferred death at the time rather than a lifetime of what I just described above.

But hey, it's all horrendous, and whoever does any of it doesn't deserve sympathy or a break... unless it's the "break" of their neck on the gallows.

FH! Welcome Back! Great to see you here again!

Don Cardi

Back to the topic at hand. The bottom line is that I think that there everyone here has their own feelings of what kind of crime may be worse than another kind of crime, their own feelings as to if it's worse to hurt a child or an adult, etc. No one is all right and no one is all wrong. You may strongly feel a certain way about a certain type of crime and who it is commtitted against and I may feel strongly about a different type of crime or who it is committed against. The way that I feel does not mean that the way you feel is wrong, and visa versa. We all have our reasons for feeling the way that we do about different situations in the context of a crime. But I think that we all agree that Murder, Rape, Child Molestation, etc. are all disgusting!


Don Cardi

Men can be raped by MEN.

Also I think you are looking at the term "rape" here in the wrong light. A man rapes a woman by vaginal sex etc.. I think you are thinking a woman "raping a man" by vaginal sex. I've read/heard of many cases where women have raped men with objects etc. inside the man.

Breaking someone's heart.

As a victim of date rape when I was in my 20's, I can assure you that it is a horrific crime. Especially since I was one of those statistics that never reported the crime. However, I was in my 20's, aware of the world and my body, and not a virgin. As Don Smitty said earlier, I see my 10 year old daughter at play, and the complete and utter violation that a child's rape would entail makes me insane.

That being said, as a survivor of rape, I did recover, and, as horrible as it was, I did go on to marry, have children, etc., all of which couldn't have happened if he had decided to kill me. Murder has to be the worst.

I'm SO sorry you had to suffer something like that. The only consolation is that horrible experience did not prevent you from having a life full of love and blessings, SB!
Thank you for sharing, my dear!

It was a lesson in life. I went to a party with a guy from work. The downstairs john was occupied, so I went upstairs to use the other one. Of course, this is where the bedrooms were. Anyway, he was there when I came out of the bedroom. He started to kiss me, but things quickly got way beyond where I was prepared to go. With the loud music and other noise from the party, nobody heard me scream. I never reported it because I figured there was no point. I was only one of two saleswomen in the entire company, I had voluntarily gone to the party with him, and I knew it would be a "he said, she said" thing. Especially since the news that year was all about Robert Chambers, the Central Park Preppie Killer. I will never forget how they smeared that poor dead girl, using her private thoughts about him that she had written in her diary.

Anyway, the good that has come out of it is that I can pass along a VERY important lesson to my girls.

I can understand. But parenthood is a blessing. Not being a parent, this is really scary.

Being a parent is a great blessing, but also a great responsibility. Unfortunately, these are scary times and the ability to perpetrate crimes against children is easier than ever, thanks to chat rooms, the collapse of neighborhoods (how many people actually know their neighbors?), etc. When I grew up in the city, you knew everyone in the neighborhood, including the store owners. People had their eye on you. Now, kids hang out in these big, anonymous malls where they can come across anyone.

Oh, Part, that is so true and so funny! Growing up in NYC, there were all the "stoop-sitters" who would be outside crocheting and telling your parents every single thing you did!

Back to the "subject" there is some pretty heavy stuff on here, and I applaud tse who have spoke of personal trauma and how they overcame it. Asking what the worst crime is impossible to answer. I would think Genocide is up there, and most certainly rape (especially in patriarcal societies where the victims become pariahs) and of course any abuse of children.

BTW I like the female Snake avatar....what a hottie. There is also a Snake guy with an Eye Patch avatar...that has to go!!

I can understand. But parenthood is a blessing. Not being a parent, this is really scary. [/b][/quote]Why? Maybe it's better nowadays?

I meant being a parent is always a blessing, no matter how scary it can be. When life circumstances did not let you be a parent and you had always wanted to be a parent, that's scary IMO.

I meant being a parent is always a blessing, no matter how scary it can be. When life circumstances did not let you be a parent and you had always wanted to be a parent, that's scary IMO. [/b][/quote]Well, it's sad, maybe, but why really scary? I think it's far not the scariest thing in life. Maybe I just never wished it that much?

My opinion is that the thought of no-one somehow making you live even when you've died is scary, no matter how strong is your faith in a Life after this life. Considering that your life did not bring other life is scary. That you will not see your children's smile is scary. Sad, of course, and scary. Because coping with the pointlessness of one's own life is scary.

God, my dear, that's road to depression. There's a full world of points to live for. After all, even if you are lonely, old and sick, you still can do something good for someone, can't you? It worth living for!

Tough call here. I think I would have to go with rape/molestation simply because I have seen the horrible effects of it on loved ones. Murder is probably worst when looked at completely objectively, but in my experiance I really can't see anything worse than rape