What style of pasta is a mafioso's favorite macaroni?


...Pasta asciutta, of course!

Today's Food for Thought...

If Caitlyn Jenner ever joined the mafia, would she then be considered a made man, or a self-made woman?

MAKING DAD PROUD!

When young Vito got home from school that day, what did the mafioso's son tell his father about having failed all of his exams?

With a big grin on his face, Vito proudly remarked, "Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours, but I didn't tell em one single thing!"

Today's health tip for the forum...

What’s the fastest way to burn up 1000 calories?


.....Just leave the pizza in the oven! LOL

Whats the biggest difference between the Mafia and an acting troupe?


....When the Mafia says break a leg, they mean someone else's.

What do you call gangsters who live deep in the woods?

….Cottage G’s

Have you heard about the hobo gangster?


...Word on the street is that he's absolutely roofless!

THE HITMEN...

A Mafia boss once decided to send two of his top soldiers out to kill a rival gangster. So the two hitmen drove to the rival’s home, about half an hour before their intended victim was expected to return. They parked outside, directly adjacent to his house, check their guns and ammo, and waited.

Half an hour goes by and the gangster hasn’t shown up yet. So they keep waiting in silence. Another full hour passes and he's not there. So they wait some more. Five hours later, they’re still sitting outside and the guy hasn’t shown up.

Finally, the first hitmen looks down at the watch and the says to the other: "We've been here for over five hours already, and this guy still ain't showed up."

…”Jeez," the other hitman says, "I sure hope nothings happened to him.”

You know, contrary to popular opinion, which is largely a myth, not all Italians are in the Mafia.


...Nowadays, some of them can also be found in the Federal Witness Protection Program.

What do you get when you cross the Italian Mafia and the Japanese Yakuza?


...Most likely murdered!

I confused Jacuzzi with Yakuza,and now I'm in hot water with the Japanese.

People who design fool-proof systems fail to take into account the ingenuity of fools.