I think that rule was more related to innocents. Aka the families of members, ect. Once you get involved or stand in the way of something they want, your basically fair game. In these cases they were ratting, or in the case with Rosemarie uva, stealing from them. But if there was a hit on some guy, and the wife or girlfriend was there, they shouldn't be touched, and if they have to be killed for whatever reason (she sees the killers faces, ect) then the blame is still on the killers for not doing their hit properly.