DeCavalcante Family 2025 Power Rankings

> Boss: Joseph (The Plumbers Helper) Delmore. A distant relative of one of the family’s most iconic early leaders, the FBI says that “The Plumbers Helper” has now taken the helm of what’s left of “Sam the Plumbers” old crew. [A licensed plumber, word is he’s now firmly piped in]

> Underboss: Ilario (Larry the Midget) Larasso. Although law enforcement authorities initially thought “Larry the Midget” was a minor mob figure who had his sights set low, it now appears that in recent months The Midget has hit new heights, having been elevated to the borgata’s number #2 spot. [Despite the similar surname, authorities say The Midget is no relation to murdered former underboss, Louis (Fat Lou) Larasso]

> Consigliere: Samuel (The Moped Driver) Malavita, aka; Mopey. A shadowy mobster who has mostly remained unknown to police and fellow mobsters alike. Malavita seems to have taken over the consigliere position formerly held by old-time mafioso, Steve (The Truck Driver) Vitabile.

> Caporegimes. FBI sources say that nowadays the DeCavalcante crew reportedly sports three caporegimes. And it appears the new year also ushers in a brand new era for New Jersey’s Cosa Nostra — its first known female captains. In fact, three of them. They are as follows;

> Charlize (Charlie Big Boobs) Majuri; Based in the Family’s traditional stronghold of Elizabeth, “Big Boobs” Majuri is believed to be but another relative of Sam the Plumbers longtime family underboss, Frank (Big Frank) Majuri, and his son, Charlie Big Ears. In fact, of the family’s three known capos, the FBI says that “Big Boobs” is — as one agent observed, and I quote — “right out front” as the New Jersey Mob’s most prominent, aggressive, “in your face” sub-leader. They also say she ‘firmly’ controls all Garden State brassiere rackets.

> Victoria (Vicky Puddles) Di Palermo. Yet another female gangster — and a distant niece of former acting boss/turned informant Vincent (Vinny Ocean) Palermo — authorities say Vicky Puddles is now an active figure in the Family, and according to one source, a “Bella Figura” at that!

> Ottilia (Tillie the Tulip) Tullipello. Another former virtual unknown. In recent years the feds say that Tullipello has burst onto the underworld scene as the DeCavalcante mob’s South Florida representative. She boasts a reputation as a vicious hoodlette who uses strong-arm methods to achieve her goals. Tullipello has quickly infiltrated and then dominated the wholesale distribution of flower growers and associated retail florist shops up and down the east coast. PS: Those in the know say she’s no wall flower!

So there you have it, folks. The Jersey Mob’s new lineup has finally been exposed!