Originally posted by JustMe:
[QUOTE]...Never in my post I said that you shouldn't adopt or take care of orphans. If you accuse me of it, prove it. >>> And yes I think that it's better to raise the kid in his own nation and race, because once you are what you are, you cannot change your mentality, and the same people with you will underatsnd it better. At least, the child won't be laughed at or pointed at by his peers at school etc. Children are cruel, they naturally have no tolerance to anything outstanding, different from them.
Never in my post did I say either that I think it's better to grow up homeless than be adopted internationally. Why do you honor me with so many opinions that I never expressed?
...if you see any real reason to believe my thinking limited, wouldn't you kindly point it out?
JustMe...below is an excerpt taken directly from your original post. While it's true you do not actually state that nobody should adopt or take care of orphans, I'll point out that in MY post I did not accuse you of saying that. I did say that your views on adoption are limited, and they are.
You make black & white assumptions as to the reasons children are abandoned.
You state optimism about international adoption ultimately being prohibited...apparently because a of various scandals and the tragic incident of a woman beating to death a Russian born child.
You also referred to a potentiallly adoptive child as a 'random orphan'. While I suppose that is a technically accurate term...it's also a little bit cold.
While I agree that the BEST scenario for any child would be to be raised in the country/culture in which they were born, that is not always possible and there are millions of healthy, happy children in loving homes today who might be in orphanages or perhaps not even be alive had they remained in what you like to call 'their own nation'. As to nationality, many organizations and parents put a great deal of effort into providing foreign-born children an appreciation of the culture and language from which they were removed as infants or very young children. Yes, there are many cases of other kids teasing and being cruel, as kids will be. However that aspect of prejudice/racism is considered more & more on a proactive basis and there are books/seminars/workshops galore on how to prepare and help children deal with such things.
I also do agree that the EARLIER in life a child is adopted, the better. However if a parent or set of parents has made the decision that they are emotionally and financially equipped to bring into their home and older or special needs child - and this decision is made with the aid of an OBJECTIVE Social Worker - then it is one of the most loving, caring and selfless commitments that anyone can possible undertake.
That goes for people who are physically able to have children of their own children as well as those who are not.
Yes, JustMe...your thinking on adoption is incredibly limited. And I'm betting that unless you do a little more research (which I don't expect you to do) ... it will remain so for many years to come.
And I'm so glad that you feel honored to receive my pity....because you still have it.
Best,
Apple
Originally posted by JustMe:
[QUOTE]...
Speaking about adoption.
Consider, why should people leave a child. No normal people should. Events when the young child loses both parents and has no other relatives are rare. Usually the parents are either alcoholic, or drug addicts, or there's some problem with the child. Of course you can adopt ill child, but that is a commitment that must be well thought over. We have a family in our neighborhood, they adopted two boys, and they said that the earlier you adopt, the better. The more time this child spends without parents, the more reserved he/she becomes, and it may be difficult to wake their abilities later. There are some processes in human psycho that have no recourse, so I understood. Usually the most healthy and able children are adopted at once, on place. What remains - goes to charitable organizations, and the last remaining sometimes to the US. BTW, speaking about Russia, after some monster of an american woman killed a child that was adopted from Russia, there was a strong indignation, and many illegal adoption scandals, so now there's a strong movement against international adoption. They are doing well, and I hope they'll prohibit it finally. Every child must grow in their own nation.
