Most definitely Love, Honour and Obey (1999, Anciano/Burdis, GB). With such a cast as Ray Winstone, Jude Law, Cathy Burke and Johnny Lee Miller, with a promised premise on the VHS cover of one of the true original gangster films of the year, you'd expect something at least half-watchable. It's got to be, after Passion of the Christ (2004), one of the most crassly edited films I've ever seen. Fade-to-black inbetween every scene (sometimes they replace jump-cuts); horrible, improvised dialogue, which sounds awful when the cast are playing characters with the same name as in real life; and the script's narrative twists are about as exciting as a Michael Bay film. It's the only fiml I've taken back to the store. I exchanged it for Altman's Gosford Park (2001).

The worst film I've ever seen at the cinema was the one I saw last month: Danny Boyle's new feature, Millions (2005). Poorly judged performances from the young stars, an overly sentimental script, and godawful editing.

I can't wait to see Spider-Man 2 (and I am being serious!).

Mick