A newly promoted Captain was assigned to a post in Iraq.

On his first inspection he noticed a rather young and good looking donkey standing happily next to a rusty old jeep without an engine, and asked a Sergeant what the donkey was for.

"Well sir..", began the soldier hesitantly, "We're a very long way from civilization, and men have, er - um, needs, Sir..."

"What exactly do you mean, Sergeant. Spit it out, man."

"Well Sir... when the men get really desperate for a woman, they use the donkey."

"I see", replied the Captain with a cough. "If it keeps the men satisfied, I suppose it's OK with me".

When he had been at the outpost for about a month he noticed the donkey was missing and stopped a soldier as he walked past his tent.

"Tell me, soldier, where is the donkey tonight?"

"It's Private Smith's turn with the donkey this month, sir"

The Captain thanked him and went back into his tent wishing he had a woman.

The next month he heard the donkey neighing loundly and stopped the sergeant as he was passing his tent.

"Tell me sergeant, what's the donkey like?"

"Good as gold, sir. We'd be lost without him."

"Yes - but what do the men actually DO with it?"

"Do sir? The usual, sir, you know..."

"Yes, but what exactly?"

"Well...we just climb on and ride him to paradise, sir."

The Captain was almost beside himself with excitement, but managed to control himself and dismissed the sergeant.

After three months he was so desperate for a woman he ordered the sergeant to fetch the donkey. The Sergeant shrugged his shoulders and led the happy animal into the Captain's tent. The Captain dropped his pants, stepped onto a stool and fucked the donkey so hard it collapsed.

When he'd finished, he beckoned the Sergeant over and asked: "Is that how the men do it?"

"No sir," the sergeant said. "They men usually use the donkey to ride into town to the whorehouse."