Originally posted by TonyD:
(my apologies for the length of this post)
As far as Kay ... I think certainly Mike would have been in the wrong if he had hurt her with the knowlege that he had gotten married to Appolonia. But if I'm not mistaken, weren't Kay and Michael just boyfriend and girlfriend? (mi dispiace ... I don't recall).
Consider too that Michael didn't know when he would be able to come back; that he had in fact, told Kay to go back to her parents... and during his time in Sicily I don't think they had any communication at all.
I think it's kinda presumptuous anytime we think we know whether two people should love each other and get married (in real life as well as represented in the movies). We aren't them and we aren't in their heads or their cultures. Culturally, around the world people's idea of marriage is very different than our own and they believe just as strongly as we do that they are doing the right thing.
Sicilians, and Italians on the mainland (especially Italians north of Calabria) consider themselves pretty separate cultures; in language, in food, and in customs (btw: this used to be a sensitive issue in my family with my older relatives who were both Calabrese and Sicilian). While there are a predominance of similarities, there are quite a few contrasts (as least in degree) that tend to set them apart.
Sicily has been influenced by Arabic culture and was in fact ruled by the Moors about 1000 years ago. Much of Sicily's modern culture retains those influences. All cultures are a mish-mash of other cultures that influenced them. For Sicily this included traditions of the Roman Empire, Greek influences, North African Moorish influences, as well as feudal and Norman influence.
Old Roman law is where having a best man and maid-of-honor come from in Italy. Some other old customs in Sicily and Southern Italy are things like the procession from the bride's parents' home to the church; throwing either paper confetti ... or candy ... this is why those candy covered almonds are often called 'confetti' ... this is the candy that Appolonia was going around the wedding party and giving to each person.
To understand the circumstances that Mike was getting married in, it's important to know something about Sicilian culture.
In marriage, Muslims, and Sicilians influenced by that culture, sometimes took more than one wife. They also tended to have arranged marriages; this is the basis for Michael to have been so forward in arranging the marriage directly with Appolonia's father.
The chaperoned walk that Mike and Appolonia took was another old aspect of Sicilian courtship. At another point, Appolonia automatically looks to an older female family member before she opens Michaels gift. All this is very old practice. Interaction between the couple took place *within* the family; something that we aren't used to today.
Sicilians also often took wives who were as young as 15 to 17 years old (and this was often a girl who had been 'spoken for' since the age of 13 or 14); marrying very young is something that is quite common in many cultures especially in areas with high infant mortality and harsh living conditions.
(As an aside: as recently as the early 70's, in some southern states in the US, girls could marry at 15 and at *13* with parental consent (I believe this was Mississippi). It's both obnoxiously pious, and 'PC' when we impose our prudish sexual 'morality' on other cultures we know nothing about (he says as he backs away from the steep slope ... gravel cascading down before him).
In the old days in Sicily; because arranged marriages didn't require a formal courtship or engagement between the couple, marriages might occur very quickly after the decision was made. Michael's quick move to marriage would not be uncommon. This was still occurring right up thru the 1940's.
I should point out, however, there is a very different custom in Sicily and Southern Italy as well; since about the turn of the last century; of specifically having *very* long, drawn-out "engagements" sometimes lasting 5 or 7 years. This practice, which is really just calling a 'boyfriend/girlfriend' relationship an 'engagement', took hold to provide some sort of 'dignity' to the increasing tendency to have pre-marital sex. Another reason some claim is an economic one, giving the man a chance to get some "wealth" together (Hmmmmm, so some people claim, anyway.)
Marriage practices like the ones I've noted found their way into Sicilian culture and exist in Sicilian culture even right up to modern times-- nearly a thousand years after direct Moorish or Muslim influence had ended.
Somebody did their homework on the marriage of Mike and Appolonia in the movie. I thought they did a spectacular job.
As far as the marriage being inappropriate; I do not judge Mike so harshly.
Hey Tony!..you are damn good
