you were!!

just kidding.

Don Mikey and PastaPunk, your last posts made me cry too, damn

oh and BronxKing, you're in as far as I'm concerned, you're quoting skills are excellent.

Don Gambino, in Holland the VIP thing was laim...so were the "singer" and "moviestar" reality shows (actually held in the same BB houses), we also had a show called "The Bus" you can imagine what's that about

the next morning......

Michael is feeling sick.

MICHAEL: Neri, where are my pills...

NERI: boss, are you upset you didn't get voted away?

MICHAEL: don't ask about my feelings, Al!

MAMA CORLEONE: Mike, what-a you want-a for-a break-a-fast?

MICHAEL: don't ask me what I want to eat!

MAMA CORLEONE: oh, well then I'm-a gonna make-a Peter Clemenza some-a cannolis!

MICHAEL: what? don't ever take side against the family again!

KAY: Michael! don't talke to your mother like that!

MAMA CORLEONE: hey little white trash girl you, what I told you about talking to my babyboy like that, huh?

MAMA ANDOLINI: stop annoying her, she's young and stupid

APOLLONIA, DEANNA DUNN, LUCY, FREDO, LITTLE VITO'S GHOST, all at once: what? who called me?

MICHAEL: guys, would you please stop? I'm stressed out here, I wanted to leave the house...

KAY: Michael, you're blind...

MICHAEL: I don't wanna hear about it!

KAY: but Michael...

MICHAEL: I don't wanna hear about it!

KAY: but

MICHAEL: I don't wanna hear about it!

MICHAEL: I don't wanna hear about it!

MICHAEL: Enough!

HYMAN ROTH: Yeah, this is Roth speaking. Is this the Coppola residence? Yes? Who is it on the phone?

OTHER SIDE OF THE PHONE: Roman

ROTH: Who?

OTHER SIDE OF THE PHONE: Roman, you know, the guy who played young Sonny, with the curly hair

GREENE: Michael, come out here, I need you're help. Bring Neri with you.

MICHAEL: Be right there Moe!

KAY: Michael, we are you going?

MICHAEL: do not ask me about my business, Kay

KAY: Michael, is it true?

MICHAEL: for once, you can ask me about my business...

MAMA CORLEONE: is it true you've been snacking at McDonald's lately? where are you manners

MAMA ANDOLINI: shut it, he is young and stupid.

APOLLONIA, DEANNA DUNN, LUCY, FREDO, LITTLE VITO'S GHOST, all at once: what? who called me?

MICHAEL: Al, come with me. We're going to Moe's casino. be sure to take some chairs with you. I heard Moe has new glasses. Where's Calo when you need him...

ROTH: Can I speak to your ... hello? who is this now?

OTHER SIDE OF THE PHONE: Mary

ROTH: who?

OTHER SIDE OF THE PHONE: MAry, you know, the girl from the baptism scene and from the immigration scene. Is Vincent still in the BB-house?

ROTH: no, he took off with his wife, children and his horse to Vegas. Woltz is with him right now. Can I speak too...

OTHER SIDE OF THE PHONE: Hello? Who the hell is this?

ROTH: Damn, it's Roth, now get me a grown up Coppola for once

OTHER SIDE OF THE PHONE: I am grown up. I am Nicholas Kim Coppola....

ROTH: Who?

OTHER SIDE OF THE PHONE: you know, the guy who traded faces with John Travolta in that John Woo picture

DR.SEGAL: that was actually me doing business out there.

SENZA MAMMA ACTRESS (allowed to talk to her old roommates one last time, by intercom): Dr.Segal, when can I make an appointment, as I asked for?

DR.SEGAL: let me see, Apollonia got my agenda...

Apollonia when can Michelle have an appointment

APOLLONIA: monday, tuesday, thursday, wednesday

IN COMES JOE PESCI: whowly shit, you crazy jew motherfucker you (talking to Roth)... I'm in the wrong movie! (exit Pesci)

ROTH to CLEMENZA: Hey Clemenza, wanna rat out on Michael?

CLEMENZA: yeah sure. give him and Neri two in the head each. shoot them the minute you get out of the bathroom. then you drop the gun, and Tessio will be waiting outside.

ROTH: he's in it too?

CLEMENZA: yeah, he's a master in betrayal!

Roth starts practicing the hit.

MRS.CLEMENZA: Peter! where you at?

CLEMENZA: Oh shit, Roth, we gotta go. Leave the gun, take the cannolie!

ROTH: damn, just when I thought I had a gun, I lost it again...

ALL INHABITANTS ARE CALLED TO THE DIARY ROOM:

Senator Geary is there.

BB: who the hell is The Godfather among you?

MICHAEL: I never knew no godfather.

BB: Sir, you are contradicting a sworn statement that you previously made to us and signed.

MICHAEL: I thought you was gonna get me outtahere, them guys of the FBI promised me a nice deal, so I told some things...

BB: you think you're getting outtahere?

MICHAEL: please yes please

BB: FUGGEDABOUTIT!!

MAMA CORLEONE: hey you, watch your mouth. you owe my son an apology!

MAMA ANDOLINI: don't blame BB. they are all stupid.

APOLLONIA, DEANNA DUNN, LUCY, FREDO, LITTLE VITO'S GHOST, all at once: we are?

VINCENT: which days is BB televised, anyway?

APOLLONIA: monday, tuesday, thursday, wednesday...

MAMA CORLEONE points out a gun to the BB director: LET ME SON GO!


Michael is released from the BB-house...

after 15 minutes of interview with Grace Hamilton, Michael realizes he forgot his pills inside the house. He runs back, screaming like he did in GFIII, only to be reunited with all of the contestors...

MICHAEL: Just when I thought I was out, they pulled me right back in!

(TAKE IT FROM HERE GUYS, after a while I'm losing my sense of funnyness

just a comment of slight reason....

how long can we continue these posts?



anyway, PastaPunk, you're Vincent-Zasa-horse-Woltz thing was G*R*E*A*T

and Don Mikey, you deserve another compliment on starting the whole damn thing...

I've pasted all of the BB-dialogue posts into a MS word document...guess how many pages it is right now:

11!!!!!

within a week we'll have a 450 page book like Puzo's novel!

I think I will make a small website called

"The GodBrother" and have the entire story in it...

but not until it will get only better and better the upcoming time!

the Big-Brother directors announce the contestors have been in the hous for 43 days, and throw a party.

DEANNA DUNN: wa? ha we bin ere fo for-e-tree dayz? we mus be stupi!?!

MAMA ANDOLINI: well, I wasn't gonna say anything...

ROTH, GREENE, TATTAGLIA and BARZINI enter the room with guns

VINCENT: It's a hit

MICHAEL: please shoot me this time, instead of my daughter!

NERI: Mikey, over here...

Neri tosses a box of pills to Michael

MICHAEL: At last, I thought I was dying, I never felt so smart before...

ROTH: Listen to, Commendatore Corleone, you will not get away this time

the ground starts to shake. some flashlights light up the room. it must be a helicopter or something...

the helicopter lands on the BB-house, and out of it comes a very colorfull person.

AUSTIN POWERS, INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY: Yeah baby yeah, do I make you randy baby, do I?

DEANNA, APOLLONIA & LUCY: You sura as hell make me!

AUSTIN POWERS, INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY: what seems to be the case?

BARZINI: this guy won't die!

MICHAEL: they won't let me out of the house!

MAMA CORLEONE: no one eats my food anymore! the only [I}schmug[/I] who eats my food keeps asking for smaller pieces..

AUSTIN POWERS, INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY: wright....so, shall we shag now or shag later? I won't bite...hard

LUCY: hmmm yes

exit LUCY and AUSTIN POWERS, INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY

a new member joins the pack in the BB-house.

it's Constanzia

DEANNA: geeya, wa are ya wearin? you look redicidulas...

MICHAEL: she's been like that ever since part III

FREDO: jesus Connie, you look awful

CONNIE: banfangool you all, I have the power to emerge from a weak Italian lady to a ruthless killer... I will be the first Female head I tell ya... rise up for Donna Corleone...

VINCENT MANCINI comes back from Vegas: yeah yeah whatever, I'm the Don now...

CONNIE: Michael, you remember Vincent, Sonny's son

VINCENT: hey how ya doin Mr.Corleone

MICHAEL: oh not again...how are you doing?

VINCENT: I'm doin good how ya doin

NERI: Mikey, do you want me to get rid of him

MICHAEL: Neri, don't ever ask me about what I'm going to do.

APOLLONIA, out of nowhere!: what day is it today anyway?

VINCENT: good party Mike, how ya doin?

MICHAEL: I heard you shot Dr.Segal in the tits. foolish of you won't you think?

VINCENT: foolish of me? well a little of this guy don't you think? right? RIGHT?

enters ANTHONY: hey pop, I quite singing in thights!

MICHAEl: Tony, you look a lot like your uncle Sonny...your face, your looks...much more then this Vincent character

VINCENT: hey Anthony, how ya doin

ANTHONY: fine, how are you doing?

VINCENT: good, how ya doin

ANTHONY: pop, I'm running for presidency..I'm making grandpa's wish come true

enters ANDREW HAGEN: Hey uncle Mike

VINCENT: hey Andy, how ya doin

ANDREW HAGEN: fine, how are you doing?

VINCENT: good, how ya doin

ANDREW HAGEN: uncle Mike, are you plotting to kill the pope soon?

MICHAEL: Neri, are we?

NERI: not that I know off boss

MICHAEL: check out that Jew Roth if he is...why you ask Andy?

ANDREW HAGEN: I'm running for pope uncle Mike..but there need to die one first. I'm gonna be Andreus Hagenus Primus!

FREDO: that's swell Andrew, congratulatio..ah. (Vincent interrupts)

VINCENT: go on encourage him.... Andy, how could you do this, on the party og the 43rd day of this BB contest...Big Brother himself, rest in peace, would be heartbroken.

BIG BROTHER ANNOUNCES A GROUP MEETING IN THE DIARY ROOM:

MICHAEL: Big Brother, I want to thank you for helping me organize this...meeting here today.
And also the other people living in his house...Hyman Roth from Miami and his Sicilian message boy Johnny Ola...and ah...from Nevada...Moe Greene...also, from the Vatican, my nephew Andrew Hagen..and all the other associates that came as far as from New York and Sicily, and all the other territories of the world....thank you.

(they all sit down)

How did things ever get so far? I don't know. It was so -- unfortunate -- so unnecessary.
Fredo lost his body -- and I lost my freaking pills! We're quits. And if Fredo agrees, then I'm willing
to -- let things go on the way they were before...

KAY: Mike, you're being too honest. To reasonable. that's always been your thing, huh, reason...I liked you better when you were just a common mafia hood!

DEANNA: what's a hood?

MAMA CORLEONE talking to Andy Hagen: those two looke alike

ANDREW HAGEN: uhuh

KAY/DEANNA: what do ya mean by that?

MICHAEL: hey cut the crap will ya? Andreus Hagenus Primus himself just blessed me, you think y'all know better than the pope?

he continues: how I want you to know that I'm willing to leave this house. All my life, I want out. Since he's doing a good job, financially speaking, I'm giving control over to Moe Greene.

MOE GREENE: I believe in this house. It has made my fortune. and look where I'm now? stalked by an old jew...a bold pimp...heck, I'm not even getting drugs due to the Corleone Family's history! At least Fredo, the stupid one...

MAMA CORLEONE: told you

MAMA ANDOLINI: you could tell?

FREDO: mom, I thought you said...

MAMA CORLEONE: hold your mouth gipsy-without-a-body

MOE GREENE: anyways, at least Fredo provided me with some girls ;-)

WOLTZ: can you give me an address, hah???

LUCY: Freddie, why didn't you sent me to this Greene man, he seems like a nice guy...

GREENE: you know, Fredo, I beat thos girls, like animals!

DR.SEGAL: when they came to me, their noses were broken. their jaws were shattered, held together by wires. they couldn't even weep because of the pain.

GREENE: yeah yeah whatever. I wept though! Why did I weep? they were the light of my life...beautiful young girls...you know you can't stick your little boy in these slot machines! I need slut machines!!!!

LUCY: again, you could have called me

DEANNA: heck, I even live in Vegas!

GREENE: now, I will never be pleased again. so I bought Playboy and Penthouse magazines

(the entire room is filled with shock!!!!!)

MICHAEL: why didn't you come to me first?

GREENE: What do you want of me? Tell me anything. But do what I beg you to do.

MICHAEL: What is that?

GREENE whispers in his ear that he wants all male contestors out of the house...he wants Michelle from Senza Mama back and also Sonny's twin daughters when they we're 16 (Woltz overheard this and asked for them to be 12 again!)

MICHAEL: That I cannot do.

GREENE: I'll give you anything you ask, all the money I made with the garden-casino...

MICHAEL: this is the first time you came to me for counsel,
for help. But let's be frank here: you
never wanted my friendship. And uh, you were afraid to be in my debt.

GREENE: I didn't want to get into trouble.

MICHAEL: I understand. You found paradise in the Big Brother house, had a good trade, made a good living. Roth protected you; and there were camera's all over the place.

GREENE: You don't talk to a man like Moe Greene like that! anyway I ask you for justice.

MICHAEL: Moe... Greene... What have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully?

I don't need your money, I've got Immobiliare...if you would offer me a set of pills though...

ROTH: say Moe, those fruit slot machines, with them oranges on it...can you make them pay out real oranges?

MRS.CLEMENZA: can you make them pay out cannoli's, cuz PEEEETEER!!! where the hell are mine?

CONNIE: sssshht, Lucy is having another baby from dead Sonny out of nowhere!!

LUCY: aaaarghh uuuuuuughh whooooooooieew... ah this hurts..

ANTHONY: aww, that's pretty goddamn disgusting

MICHAEL: close your eyes Tony, you're not up for this

ANTHONY starts crying

VINCENT: what's the matter with you?!? you can act like a man? Is this how you turned out? A Palermo finocchio that ah cries like a woman?

What is that nonsense? Ridiculous.
MICHAEL: enough! don't ever let anyone else know what you're thinking.

VINCENT: look at it, I have a baby brother now

MICHAEL: Now this miracle Mancini-baby doesn't conflict with my business with Mr.Moe Greene.

I'm leaving the house!

ROTH: could you deliver some oranges when you're out, Mikey?

ROTH: hmmm, "the Death of Michael Corleone", wonder if I can make a movie out of that. Maybe my Jewish friend Woltz has an actor in mind. I'll call Coppola.

OTHER SIDE OF THE PHONE: hello?

ROTH: is this the Coppola residence? may I finally speak to an adult?

OTHER SIDE OF THE PHONE: it's me, Sofia. technically I'm an adult now! can I play a part in your movie?

ROTH: that, you have to ask to Mr.Woltz.....do you look old

OTHER SIDE OF THE PHONE: naa, I just turned 19...do you think I can get away with playing a 26 year old?

ROTH: with Woltz, you'd better play someone half that age!

OTHER SIDE OF THE PHONE: I hope he doesn't want any sexual favors of me. I'm a virgin you know. I'd commit suicide if he asks me to do anything like that... hey, that's a great movie idea!

ROTH: you were saying?

OTHER SIDE OF THE PHONE: never mind, see ya

ROTH: lechaim!

all of the others went to Moe Greene to kiss his hand and say:

DON MOE!! DON GREENE!!! DON MOZES ELIAS GREENEBAUM!!!!

VINCENT: heya! what-a bout-a me-a??

I love your posts, BK. You always make me smile.
I'm enjoying this. It's a lot of fun.

Next morning:

VINCENT: *wakes up, scratches his hairy chest and notices something at the foot of the bed. He lifts the blanket and see's his horse's disembodied head* Holy moly mother of pearl!!

DEANNA: *runs in and see the head. She stands with her mouth open for a long ass time and falls to her knees. After about 10 minutes she finally screams*

*fade into Vito's face*
VITO: *shrugs* How was your trip Barzini?

BARZINI: I got shot and fell down the stairs! I did NOT trip!

MICHAEL: *walks in and slams his hand on the table* NO! *walks out*

VITO & BARZINI: ...

APOLLONIA: Michael! Bella bella bella la bella! {translation: Let's go for a drive!}

MICHAEL: I can't. I'm busy.

APOLLONIA: Bella la bella el bella!! {translation: But your promised!!!}

MICHAEL: *slams hand on table* NO!

APOLLONIA: *kicks him in the nuts and it makes a loud honking noise* MONDAY! *storms out*

NERI: Oooh... that looked really bad... you okay, boss?

MICHAEL: Uh... I can't talk.

NERI: Tell me you LOVE me. Can't you say it?

MICHAEL: *his heart starts pounding* Uh oh... I need candy! GIMME CANDY!! *sits on the ground and cries* I WANT CANDY!!!

KAY: *hits him with an orange*

PAULIE: *walks in* I'm da bug guy. I'm here to exterminate the roaches.

CLEMENZA: Exterminate? That's a bad word to use, Paulie. *shoots his head off and the blast scares away any asshole innocent bystanders*

I was at my parent's house yesterday and they HAVE NO INTERNET!!! How do they live? Anyhow, I missed all you guys. Now, for more pointless humor!

*A few days later*

(The doorbell rings, Michael, dressed in a bathrobe, looking really bad, with black cirlces around his eyes, answers the door.)

MICHAEL. WHAT?!

(The man at the door is none other than FFC -the infamous movie director- )

FFC. Good afternoon.

MICHAEL. Are you the guy from the pharmacy, 'cause I need those pills NOW!

FFC. Are you Mr... (pulls a scrap of paper out of his pocket and checks the name) Roth? Hyman Roth?

MICHAEL. Don't ever confuse me with anyone outside of the family again!

FFC. Family?

MICHAEL. (coughs) Nevermind.

FFC. Are you sick? God, you look awful! (He backs up a couple steps) Whatever you have, keep away from me!

MICHAEL. I have stress!

NERI. Boss, please, go lie down, you're gonna hurt yourself.

MICHAEL. (Pulls a gun out of his pocket and points it at Neri) Go away or you'll be the one getting hurt!

MAMA ANDOLINI. Don't hurt poor Neri. He's young and stupid.

(Hyman Roth comes to the door.)

ROTH. Are you the director?

FFC. Yes... Are you Mr. Roth?

ROTH. (Shakes his hand) Yes, very pleased to meet you. Do come in!

MICHAEL. Director?

FFC. Yes, I'm here about a script that Mr. Roth has written. From what I've heard it should be a fascinating picture. It's all about this powerful Mafia Don who gets old and starts regretting all the evil things he's done.

ROTH. He gets diabetes, did you get that part?

FFC. Yes...

ROTH. And his daughter dies!

FFC. Uh... huh...

ROTH. And he dies MISERABLE and ALONE!!!

DEANNA. Calm down, Hyman. Remember your blood pressure.

FFC. Yeah... I got all that. Sounds great! Actually, I even think that I've found the perfect man to play the main character.

ROTH. Well... I suppose I could...

FFC. (Points to Michael) This guy! He's perfect! Look at him! He has remorseful old Mafia man written all over him!

ROTH. But he can't star in a movie!

MICHAEL. Yeah... I have a criminal empire to... (thinks of an idea) Wait! If I were to star in this movie, that would mean that I could leave this accursed house! (coughs, again) Yes!

MAMA CORLEONE. Poor Michael, I think he has pneumonia.

MICHAEL. Mom, I am perfectly fine! I'm leaving! I'm out! (Vincent Mancini walks by, Michael grabs him.) Nephew, you will be taking my place. From now on, call yourself Vincent Corleone.

(Sometime later in the living room of the BigBrother/Godfather house)

MICHAEL. Naturally he would choose to film the movie here...

FFC. So, the whole thing begins with the main character, Mitch Corelli, being honored by the Pope.

MICHAEL. Mitch Corelli? Real original, Roth.

MAMA ANDOLINI. Don't be mean to poor Hyman. He's... well he's not young... drat.

FFC. Okay, Michael, let's begin on page one with your speech.

MICHAEL. (reading) My dear children... (Looks up) This is so lame! Who wrote this crap?

ROTH. (Infuriated) How dare you insult my work!

FFC. Gentlemen, please!

(Suddenly, Tom Hagen runs in)

HAGEN. There you are! It's horrible!

MICHAEL. What's wrong?

HAGEN. You've been gone so long that the Commission decided to divide up your empire and give all your stuff in Vegas to the Japanese!

MICHAEL. The Japanese!

(Tom and Michael run to the door.)

VOICE OF BIGBRO. And where do you think you're going?

MICHAEL. To save my empire from the Japanese!

BIGBRO. You're not going anywhere. You have to play the game.

MICHAEL. I'm tired of your stupid game!

BIGBRO. And, Mr. Hagen, now that you're in the house you have to stay until the game is over.

HAGEN. NO!

BIGBRO. Yes.

HAGEN. (Shrugs his shoulders) Oh well... guess I'll go get some of Mom's cannolis. Mmm... cannolis.

FFC. Are you finished, Mr. Corleone.

MICHAEL. In more ways than one.

FFC. Hey, the script says that they present you with a medal from the Order of St. Sebastian. Hmm... we need a prop.

(Enter Andrew Hagen with a box)

ANDREW. Here ya go.

FFC. Thanks. Here, put this on.

MICHAEL. (Takes the box and puts on the medal, suddenly Michael sprouts angel wings)

APOLLONIA. Mama mia!

HAGEN. Holy @#$&!

ANDREW. Indeed.

MAMA CORLEONE. Michael, what did I tell you about taking holy medals from strangers?

NERI. Boss?

MICHAEL. I feel so young... so alive... so POWERFUL!

VINCENT. Dang. Guess that means I don't get to be Don now. Rats.

*Why does Michael have wings? What will become of Hyman's infamous screenplay? Where did Moe and Barzini go? Find out in our next installment...*

Don Mikey, you're so inspired!

... and the saga continues ...

Don Mikey you are hilarious!!! And Pherdy with the follow up was just as crazy!!! I laughed so hard I thought I was going to hyperventilate! I could visualize the whole scenario, but the funniest thing to me is Mama Andolini's response to everything about everyone..."young and stupid" I can just see this old lady dressed in traditional sicilian black mourning clothes, sitting in a chair rocking back and forth, with that one reply. You guys are too much. This truly made my day!

Thank you!

MICHAEL. (Realizing that he is now a holy avenger and can smite evil) You're going down Roth!

GREENE. Ha ha! Roth's goin' down!

MICHAEL. And you too, Moe!

GREENE. Rats.

MICHAEL. (Laughs evily... his wings disapear) ARGH! What happened?

NERI. I think you're evil boss. Holy artifacts can usually sense stuff like that.

MICHAEL. Damnation!

ANDREW. Yes... I suppose so.

MICHAEL. (Takes off the medal and throws it across the room) Cheap piece of crap.

VINCENT. (Picks it up) It says in the inscription that this can only be worn by the pure of heart to right the wrongs done to him in the name of evil.

HAGEN. Well, I guess we're safe. There's no one here who fits the 'pure of heart' description.

(The Ghost of Fredo appears and grabs the medal. He becomes Fredo... THE AVENGING ANGEL OF DEATH!!!)

MICHAEL. I really need those pills now. And Vincent, never tell anyone what it says on the back of a holy medal again.

VINCENT. Sure, Uncle Mike.

FFC. I love it! The passion! The drama!

GREENE. Are you still here?

BARZINI. Hey Fredo, what kind of powers does that thing give ya? Can you conjure somethin' up out of thin air?

FREDO. Like what?

BARZINI. I dunno. Like a million dollars?

FREDO. Hmm... Money's the root of all evil. But maybe I could conjure up something good. Let me try. (Fredo 'concentrates', there is a loud bang, and a pear appears on a table.)

MAMA CORLEONE. What a nice pear!

MICHAEL. A pear? Is that it, Fredo?

FREDO. Hey, I gave it my best shot! Can you make fruit appear out of thin air? Huh? Can ya, Mike?

FFC. I can do the same thing with oranges.

VINCENT. Shut up, no one cares about you!

(Suddenly, a couple of gypsies enter.)

LADY GYPSY. There you are Fredo!

FREDO. Who are you?

LADY GYPSY. I'm you mother, Fredo.

FREDO. (To Mama) So it's true, I was left on the doorstep by gypsies!

MICHAEL. So you aren't really my brother? I didn't kill my own brother! I'M GUILT FREE!!!

HAGEN. Uh... Mike, you never had any guilt.

NERI. The boss is a man of very complex emotions. He has layers. Mafia men are like onions. They have layers.

BARZINI. You're quoting the wrong movie, dumb-ass.

NERI. Sorry.

Hiya pals!
I just came from a trip in Mexico and I found that my first post is pretty cool thanks to your imagination!
I would like to see more posts!
Pasta Punk, D. Mikey and Pherdy, your sketches rocks!

Giorgio Luigi Gambino

Would more people post?

I'm interested in the opinion of CamDon, TIS, Guineapig, FH and many others.

AND MORE SKETCHES PLEASE!

This post would not die...yet.

Giorgio Luigi Gambino.
A.K.A. George Louis Corleone.

Giorgio Gambino, Guineapig... don't worry..

I'm back (on this topic, that is)...

AND THE NIGHTMARE WILL CONTINUE!!!

by the way the entire story will FOREVER be available at the following address:

The GodBrother

N-Joy!

Fair-D

LAST TIME ON BIG BROTHER: GRANDE FRATELLO CORLEONE

FREDO. (To Mama) So it's true, I was left on the doorstep by gypsies!

MICHAEL. So you aren't really my brother? I didn't kill my own brother! I'M GUILT FREE!!!

HAGEN. Uh... Mike, you never had any guilt.

NERI. The boss is a man of very complex emotions. He has layers. Mafia men are like onions. They have layers.

BARZINI. You're quoting the wrong movie, dumb-ass.

NERI. Sorry

Speaking of wrong movies, Vincent suddenly seems to suffer from amnesia. Let's just hope this goes well. The contestors have a new assignment. Guineapig, this one's for you! This is day 59 of Big Brother: Grande Fratello Corleone

BIGBRO: this week's assignment is....imagine yourselves young again, and act like you were living in the 1920's once again. the task is to take out an evil creepy looking guy before he forces the entire house to pay him ridiculous amounts of protection fees.

DR.EVIL: well heeeeeeeeellllooooooooooo!!!

AUSTIN POWERS, INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY: no not you dumb-ass, wrong movie!

DR.EVIL: hey you zippit, or I will grab my "la-ser"

AUSTIN POWERS, INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY: But can't I...

DR.EVIL: Ssshhhh!

AUSTIN POWERS, INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY: But Mr.E...

DR.EVIL: Zipp-it!

AUSTIN POWERS, INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY: What kind of discu..

DR.EVIL: doubleU doubleU doubleU dot....zip-it! dot com!

DEANNA: I'm coming allright!

AUSTIN POWERS, INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY: what's

DR.EVIL: Ssssh! Zipp-it! blablabla

MICHAEL: Hey guys, can you please shut up, you're in the wrong movie anyway, and I don't like your pointless conversation.

AUSTIN POWERS, INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY AND DR.EVIL: "No!"

MICHAEL: Oh, we're getting funny now are we?

DR.EVIL: well, if you don't mind me saying so..

BIGBRO: well, we do, Dr.Evil, you are not the evil creepy guy we had in mind... his name is....Giuseppe Fanucci.

A theatre is built next to the BB-house. Michelle, the beautiful actress from Senza Mama who would get jiggy with Genco later (when she was called Carla by the way) starred in some Napolitan play

all of the contestors are in the audience. Suddenly a man with a big posture, a white suite and a silk pink hat stands up in the middle of an act

CONNIE: hey you asshole, bafangool you!!

MICHAEL: who's that?

DR.EVIL: well, if that's the creepy guy they surely have not seen my third movie!

the man walks out of the theatre. Vincent, who was not invited to the show ran into him behind the scenes

VINCENT: hey ol man, how ya doin?

FANUCCI: in Italian good day my son, how are you doing?

VINCENT: I'm doing good how ya doin?

FANUCCI: in Italian If you excuse me, I have to threaten some poor innocent people

VINCENT: yeah good show dude, how ya doin?

FANUCCI: in Italian Oh you like it?

VINCENT: yeah, had to sneak in though!

FANUCCI: in Italian yeah I see you're dressed for it...

VINCENT: what, where did I get these clothes??

ONE SCENE EARLIER:

FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA: hey, I'm looking for a Mr.Roth

MICHAEL: oh, you're the director huh... yeah well you see, it's Friday today.. .Roth will probably be at the sinagogue... have a seat, have an orange

FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA: no thanks, I always say, "oranges kill ya"...

enters VINCENT

MICHAEL: you remember my nephew Vincent, do you Francis?

VINCENT: Hey Uncle Mike, how ya doin

MICHAEL: how are you doing?

VINCENT: good how ya doin

MICHAEL: Vincent, this is Mr.Coppola, the guy from Paramount

VINCENT: hey dude, how ya doin?

FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA: actually I'm a little uncomfortable right now...it seems no one leaves this house anymore, and I want to catch dinner. My wife makes some excellent cannolis

CLEMENZA: maybe she could ring with my wife, she won't make 'em anymore

ALTOBELLO: maybe she could ring with my goddaughter, she makes the worst cannolies ever

CARLO RIZZI: at least she made you something to eat. I can only ask her for it

SONNY: hey shut up about my little sister

VINCENT: hey dad!! Never thought I would see you!

SONNY: dad? boy you must have lost your memory or something

VINCENT: actually I have. You see I have this condition

ALL OTHERS: oh no not again!!!

VINCENT: what, did I told it before?

MICHAEL: only everytime we see ya

TOM HAGEN: but we can keep telling the same jokes over and over again!

MAMA ANDOLINI: I must have told you were stupid like a million times

MAMA CORLEONE: well I have not counted them but I think you did!

CONNIE: actually, Sonny, he is your son. You remember him right. Vincent, Lucy's kid

VINCENT: hey dad, how ya doin

SONNY: badda beep badda baap badda boop don't you ever shut up?

VINCENT: wow, my dad, my Family all around.. who arranged this? great party!

MICHAEL: oh you like it?

VINCENT: yeah I had to sneak in

MICHAEL: why did you actually?

VINCENT: you see, my horse was beheaded. I want to know who did it!

GRACE HAMILTON: Is that why you have all those freaky tattoo's all over your body?

VINCENT: yeah you kinda learn to trust your own handwriting... anyway, I want to send an orange to whoever did it.

ANDREW HAGEN: well that's a very generous thought, my friend. Avenging the death of your horse with some fruit

VINCENT: hey Andy, how ya doin

ANDREW HAGEN: fine, how are you doing?

VINCENT: good, how ya doin

ANDREW HAGEN: fruit is good for your system...the vitamines

MICHAEL: speaking of which, Barzini, the drugs you wanted to deal in, those it have some of diabetics pills too?

VINCENT: You don't understand, I want to take the bastard who killed my horse OUT!!

MICHAEL: I heard you had Moe Greene, who I left in control here, shot in the eye again...the man needs new pair of glasses every week man. But he was the leader over here! Foolish of you won't you think?

VINCENT: foolish of me? well a little of this guy don't you think? right? RIGHT?

ANDREW HAGEN: why all this hostility?

VINCENT: hey andy, how ya doin?

MOSCA FROM SICILY: Vincent, I know a way you can get to the killer of your horse! Just dress up as a priest.

VINCENT: but where to find such clothes. I like my leather jacket!

they all look towards Andrew Hagen

ANDREW: No, ooohh no, no please...please not!

Vincent took on Andrew Hagen's clothes

BIGBRO: this week's assignment is....imagine yourselves young again, and act like you were living in the 1920's once again.

ONE SCENE EARLIER

After a long time, Sonny feels like visiting his Family again, and enters the BB house.

SONNY: yo what up cracks? how's it hanging?

MICHAEL: Sonny, did you take some pills with you

SONNY: hey cut the crap will ya? we have more important things to do. WHERE'S LUCY?

DEANNA: hey who are you, cute little fellow?

SONNY: wooowly, why did I never meet ya?

FREDO: leave her, she's mine...

SONNY: shut up gipsy

FREDO: you knew too?

MAMA CORLEONE: they all know, Freddie

MAMA ANDOLINI: that's why I keep saying all those days, you are STUPID!

Michael is having a heart attack

MICHAEL: Neri, get my pills

NERI: should I take the green ones or the blue ones. Boss what d'ya think?

MICHAEL: Neri, don't ever discuss these things outside the Family anymore!

SONNY: So, Lucy, do you think Deanna can join us?

APOLLONIA: Bella bella bella bella (translation: heya whata bouta mea?)>PS thanks PastaPunk!!

MAMA CORLEONE: Santino, what did I tell you about having threesomes with girls you're not married too?

ANTHONY: hey pop, what's the matter. are you trippin or something? I told you Barzini's dope was bad...

SONNY: hey, who are you? You look just like me!

MAMA CORLEONE: I was about to say that

ANTHONY: well, it's summer season now in Sicily.. no one seems to care for males singing in thights... they are all plucking oranges, olives and pears

MAMA CORLEONE: pears?

ROTH: oranges?

VITO&GENCO: olive oil?

MRS.CLEMENZA: cannolies?? no? realy not?

SONNY: so what are you for Anthony? You think you can sing here too? This isn't the opera you know, where you can dress in thights and get away with it because you're a mile away from the audience. You have to sing for us here in the middle of his, and the eggs, tomatoes and oranges we'll throw at ya will baddabing mess up that nice Ivy League suite of yours!

ANDREW HAGEN: And I will never give away my suit!

MAMA ANDOLINI: Give away your clothes? While your dressed in black that well? Man, this family keeps gaining stupids! How old are you boy?

ANDREW HAGEN: 41 ma'am

MAMA ANDOLINI: and still single

TESSIO: what's wrong with that

MAMA CORLEONE: hey, Tessio, shut up. Go dance with Woltz's teenage friend, she can stand on your shoes

TESSIO: oh no really... (to Tom): Tom can you get me of the hook. For ol' times sake?

TOM HAGEN: man, you're in a lot of shit, Tess...

VINCENT: who are you, anyway?

TESSIO: hi I'm Tessio, Vito's capo

VINCENT: how ya doin!

TESSIO: I'm very good, Mr.Vincent, how are you doing?

VINCENT: good how ya doin... great set of eyebrows you have there!

TESSIO: ?

VINCENT: I have probably as much hair on my chest than you have above your eyes

SONNY: did you ever see my back?...wait a minute...you could be my son if I didn't know better than Lucy was impregnated my Dr.Jules "The Miracle" Segal two years after I died....

FREDO: so you appear from the death too huh?

SONNY: damn right I am! How's gipsy heaven? great ghost you are....

FREDO: how did you get a real body, man?

SONNY: all dead people can return in real bodies...except for gipsies!

MAMA CORLEONE: Sonny, what did I tell you about calling your brother a gipsy. Wait a minute, he is...

VINCENT: hey, who are you again...?

FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA: hey, I'm looking for a Mr.Roth

MICHAEL: oh, you're the director huh... yeah well you see, it's Friday today.. .Roth will probably be at the sinagogue... have a seat, have an orange

Vincent's condition is called "anterograde memory loss" he can only remember things for about 10 minutes. What will happen to the cast after the Senza Mama show, when meeting Fanucci? Will they fullfill their assignment? And what happened before Vincent's encounter with his father, Sonny? And how many oranges will Anthony provide the rest of the inhabitants towards the end of the 100-day BB contest, in order to become the avenging, transformed son-of-a-Don all Godfather stories must have? Stay tuned, and be sure the watch...
day 60 of Big Brother: Grande Fratello Corleone

in the following editions, PastaPunk, Don Mikey, Guineapig, Giorgio Gambino.., we'll meet Sollozzo, Sofia Coppola, The Pope, President Bush, George Orwell and Antonio Andolini.... be aware.

Giorgio, this topic never...dies...................................................................................................

Pherdy you are the master of comedy!!!!

This post is like Highlander: it will not die until you cut it heead off!

Don Giorgio Gambino, I always wondered why you don't post a 'scene' like Don Mikey and PastaPunk...
we tributed you with expanding your topic to the fullest, what are your visions? I'm running out of funny ideas, and I'm quoting non-Godfather related movies now... to keep me from going insane, I have to stop very soon, say after 1 or 2 more posts...there's still some space left to go into, but....we need a little help. Don Mikey wont be posting until Monday evening. You guys have to help me..

let this Topic entertain members for more and more days to come!!

Uh, you know, I don't have very much imagination, give me a couple of days to create a scene. I'm not as funny as Don Mikey, Pasta and you.

Rest Pherdy, you will became crazy if you continue to work evreyday!!!!

THIS TOPIC WILL NEVER DIE!!!

*Day 66*
(The doorbell rings. Mama Corleone answers the door, outside are three VERY ugly women.)

MAMA CORLEONE. Are you more gypsies?

WOMEN. (They all the speak at the same time) We are Isabella, Octavia, and Maria Abbandando.

MAMA CORLEONE. Abbandando... now where have I heard that name before?

WOMEN. Our father used to work with your husband.

MAMA CORLEONE. Oh, yes, of course. Come in.

APOLLONIA. Bella bella bella bella? (Who are they?)

MAMA CORLEONE. These are the three Abbandando sisters.

VINCENT. Wow! Those are some ugly women! Hey Mama, how you doin'?

MAMA CORLEONE. (Hits Vincent in the head with a frying pan) There will be no more of that in this house!

(The Abbandando sisters come in and sit down on the couch.)

TATTAGLIA. Woah, Mama!

MAMA CORLEONE. What?

TATTAGLIA. I mean them. Those are some foxy ladies.

FREDO. Threesome!

FFC. I don't think I can work those three in. Let's go over scene five again, Mr. Roth.

ROTH. Sure thing.

(Michael walks into the room. Roth trips him.)

ROTH. (Pointing to a spot in the script) Then he should fall down, just like that.

MICHAEL. (Stands up and pulls out one of those swords that you see in Marines commercials) How dare you! I am the most powerful man in the country!

FFC. Don't interupt, Mr. C., we're right in the middle of a scene.

MICHAEL. If you don't get out of this house there is gonna be a repeat of the Woltz incident, only this time I'll cut YOUR head off!

FFC. What's your middle name?

MICHAEL. Huh?

FFC. We need it for the script.

MICHAEL. It's Adrian.

FFC. I'm gonna change it to Francis. I gotta work my name into this somehow. My name... and my daughter... and maybe a bit of my tuba playing if you're lucky.

MICHAEL. Francis? What kind of middle name is that for a Don?!

ROTH. What's with the sword? Did Big Brother finally take your gun away.

MICHAEL. Yes.

ROTH. You look ridiculous.

MICHAEL. But I feel naked without a weapon.

DEANNA. Mmmm... naked.

MICHAEL. I'm among the few and the proud. You're just an old guy who won't die.

MAMA CORLEONE. Michael, get over here and introduce yourself to the Abbandando sisters!

MICHAEL. Yes, ma'am.

MAMA CORLEONE. This is my youngest son, Michael. He's the only one who's technically alive... I think it's because he's evil.

WOMEN. I'll take him! (The start fighting amongst themselves.)

MICHAEL. What's all this about?

MAMA CORLEONE. Didn't your father tell you? Genco had three daughters, one for each of you.

MICHAEL. You mean you arranged my marriage to one of... THOSE?

MAMA CORLEONE. You could say that.

MICHAEL. But why didn't you tell me?

MAMA CORLEONE. Eh... must have slipped my mind.

MAMA ANDOLINI. Don't blame Mama Corleone, she's young and stupid.

MICHAEL. Too... much... stress... Must... have... pills... (He faints.)

TATTAGLIA. If he doesn't want 'em, I'll take 'em.

LUCY. Quiet, you old pimp!

TATTAGLIA. You would know.

LUCY. True.

MICHAEL. (Coming to, he grabs an orange.) This is it! I'm going to end it all! (He rips the peel off the orange and takes a bit.) Take me now, oh powerful orange!

ROTH. Yeah!

MAMA CORLEONE. Michael, spit that out! You can't die until you've married one of Genco's daughters.

MICHAEL. What if I refuse?

MAMA CORLEONE. Then a curse will descend upon our house!

CONNIE. A curse? You mean things could get worse?

MICHAEL. I don't believe in curses! And I refuse to marry one of them!

(There is a flash of lightening. Everyone is now the opposite gender. )

VIVIAN (Vincent). (To CARL (Connie)) Hey, honey, how ya doin'?

MINDY (Michael). Well, this sucks.

*Now that they are all the opposite gender, all the 'ladies' are in the kitchen making dinner.*

MOLLY GREENE. This is so unfair! I don't know the first thing about being a woman!

HYMANETTA. Yeah... if I'm a woman... how am I going to enjoy myself with... women?

MOLLY. Eww...

MINDY. You know Apollonia... er... I mean Apollo, just isn't attractive to me anymore.

VICKY. Whatever, Aunt Mindy.

DONNA BARZINI. This is all your fault, Donna Corleone!

MINDY. There is no such thing as a curse.

MOLLY. Then how do you explain all this?

MINDY. I'm having withdrawl from not having enough pills.

HYMANETTA. Well, now that the 'guys' are making us do women's work, I suppose we should get on with cooking dinner. Does anyone know how to cook?

MINDY. Clemenza tried to teach me once, but I really wasn't listening.

MOLLY. Hey, Clemenza!

PENNY CLEMENZA. (Stares blankly at the wall.)

VICKY. How ya doin'?

ALISHA NERI. She's still in shock.

*Meanwhile, with the 'guys'...*

DONNY DUNN. This is so great. I can do it with as many people as I want and no one will call me a trashy slut anymore!

APOLLO. Bella bella bella bella. (At least that creepy Mindy girl will leave me alone now.)

PAPA ANDOLINI. Leave Mindy alone, she's young and stupid.

*Back in the kitchen, Tom Hagen, who was out of the house when the curse struck, enters.*

TOM. Hey, ladies!

(They all stare at him angrily.)

TOM. Where did all you gals come from.

VICKY. Hey Tom, how ya doin'?

TOM. Not that again! Wait... what's going on here.

HYMANETTA. It's all Mindy's fault!

TOM. (Looks at Mindy and gets hit by the thunderbolt.) So... Mindy... what are you doing tonight?

MINDY. Hey! I'm not a... wait... I am.

TOM. Mindy, I cannot live without you. I have never seen such a beautiful woman. Let's go get married!

MINDY. Are you out of your mind?!

TOM. Playing hard to get, eh?

ALISHA. Stop seducing the boss!

TOM. The boss?

MINDY. Yeah, we've been cursed. We're all women and the girls are all guys.

TOM. You mean you're...

MINDY. Yes, you idiot!

TOM. (Screams like Michael did in Part III, then faints.)

FRANCINE FORD COPOLLA. Great, I just mopped that floor.

LAST TIME ON BIG BROTHER: GRANDE FRATELLO CORLEONE

CONNIE. A curse? You mean things could get worse?

MICHAEL. I don't believe in curses! And I refuse to marry one of them!

(There is a flash of lightening. Everyone is now the opposite gender. )

VIVIAN (Vincent). (To CARL (Connie)) Hey, honey, how ya doin'?

MINDY (Michael). Well, this sucks.

A couple of say before day 66, al contestors had an assignment, dealing with Giuseppe Fanucci...we'll take you back to day 61!

FIVE DAYS EARLIER

VINCENT: yeah good show dude, how ya doin?

FANUCCI: in Italian Oh you like it?

VINCENT: yeah, had to sneak in though!

FANUCCI: in Italian yeah I see you're dressed for it...

VINCENT: what, where did I get these clothes??

ANDREW HAGEN: don't you remember? Mosca the hitman from Sicily told you to dress like this in order to kill your horse's killer...

MICHAEL: well, there's something you don't hear everyday!

ANTHONY: pop, can I please leave the house!

MICHAEL: NO!

NERI: boss, you feel okay again, dont you?

MICHAEL (volnerable): no!

ANTHONY: pop I'm going on my own way

JOHNNY FONTANE: I did it, myyyyyyyyyy way

MICHAEL: your own way?

ANTHONY: yeah that's right yah, I'm gonna be a professional opera singer

a moment of silence in the BB-house

then, everybody, ALL CHARACTERS, FF Coppola and the BigBro direction, starts LAUGHING

MAMA ANDOLINI: man, you are realy stupid!

MICHAEL: what happens if you fail?

MRS.CLEMENZA: you can start a cannoli business, since some people won't bring 'em to me!

CHAZZ PALMINTERI: you can start in the 'getting fucked by us' business

ROTH: you can start on Cuba!

GREENE: Vegas...

MAMA CORLEONE: Tony, you can always learn how to cook with me

TATTAGLIA: you can sing in my theatres in "Queens"!

VITO CORLEONE: Tony, don't do it, Tattaglia's a pimp

LUCY: say, Tattaglia, do you have some men for me too?

ANTHONY: man, you let Vincent be a killer, you let Andrew be a priest and you let that director appoint his daughter to play your daughter.... what can possibly be wrong with me singing?

MAMA ANDOLINI: if you as good a singer as your mother's a cook...

MAMA CORLEONE: what did you say, missy?

MICHAEL: mom, what did I tell you about threatening lil'ol'ladies?

FANUCCI (in Italian): What is everyone doing outside the theatre anyway? I thought I was supposed to escape. Remember, I'm the target of you weekly assignment!

VINCENT: now I know who killed my horse! It was you you old sissy!

BARZINI: you called?

Barzini sees Fanucci and gets hit by the thunderbolt

Vincent shoots Fanucci twice in the back

VINCENT: Giusy!

FREDO: you called?

VINCENT: did I say gipsy? I said Giusy, you know, Giuseppe...

MICHAEL: This is getting to much. Neri, get me my pills...

NERI: sorry Boss, only red wine here

MICHAEL: I drink wine more than I used too

BARZINI crying: Giuseppe!!!!!!!!!

Mama Andolini takes Barzini to Don Vincenzo..

VINCENT: He will want to avenge the death of his ex-future-lover, when he grows up!

MAMA ANDOLINI: he is harmless. he won't do anything, he hardly speaks

VINCENT: it's not his words I'm afraid of

MAMA ANDOLINI: please, his young and stupid!

VINCENT: it's his pants I'm afraid of...afraid of getting into!

Vincent shoots Barzini twice in the back

VINCENT: Barza!!!!

For five dies, the Big Brother house was peacefull...until three ugly ladies rang the doorbell.....

Oh man!! This is too much for me!!!
Pherdy, that assignment was cool.
Don Mikey you are great Please, do not end so fast with this!!!
Great stuff!!!I will post something in a few days

MINDY. I have called you all here because this curse thing has gotten out of hand.

TOM. (Holding some flowers and a box of chocolates) Mindy, I can no longer hide my feelings for you. Mindy, I cannot live without you. Marry me!

MINDY. See what I mean.

ALISHA. You know boss, maybe if you weren't wearing a wonderbra and all that make-up.

MINDY. I may be a woman, but I'm not about to be an UGLY woman!

HYMANETTA. (Staring at Mindy's breasts) Those are bigger than U.S. Steel.

MINDY. (Smacks him) You're a woman too!

HYMANETTA. Curses.

PAPA CORLEONE. Oh, it's not so bad. I always wanted another daughter. Mindy, get upstairs and put on something a little less revealing! You look like one of those women of the evening.

MINDY. But, Dad!

VICKY. Molly, your hair looks fabulous! Where's your salon?

MOLLY. It's a cute little place up the street. Just ask for Margie.

APOLLO. Bella. (Many years ago my father came to this country. Those were different times them. We had to work hard and still we barely had enough to eat. My mother had to sell her body to feed her children. We lived in a tenament house with others like us. Often people would fight during the night and it would keep my brothers and sisters and I awake. We would cry because we were miserable. At school the other kids would tease me because I couldn't speak English...)

MINDY. I am never going to make the cover of Mob Magazine now!

ALISHA. Cheer up, boss. Maybe Victoria's Secret needs somebody?

MINDY. If history's taught us one thing, it's that people as sexy as I am are rare.

DANIEL DUNN. True.

SANDRA (Sonny). (Hitting a punching bag) Must regain arm strength...

LUCIFER MANCINI. I was pregnant with my third miracle baby!

VICKY. Dr. Julia will work it out somehow.

DR. JULIA. Yeah, I got some ideas.

KEN (Kay). Mindy, I liked you better when you were a Sicilian male.

CARL (Connie). (Has accidentally hung himself with a necktie)

MARK (Mary). Uncle Carl!

VICKY. Ties can be evil. It took me three years to learn how to tie one.

MINDY. That's because you're an idiot.

VICKY. Why you wanna hurt me, Aunt Mindy?

MINDY. About getting rid of the curse...

PAPA ANDOLINI. Don't be mean to Vicky, she's young and stupid.

(!THIS STUPID TOPIC WILL NEVER DIE!)

*Anyhow, somehow the curse gets lifted (do I have to explain everything?). Everything is back to normal in the GodBrother House... until...*

HYMAN. (Answers the door. Al Pacino is standing outside.) How the hell did you get out of the house?

PACINO. Uh... I'm looking for a guy named Michael Corleone. Do you know where I can find him?

HYMAN. Don't play dumb with me, Corleone! I know this is part of your twisted little plot to sneak weapons of mass destruction into the house so you can kill me.

PACINO. I have no idea what the hell you are talking about.

HYMAN. Oh, you don't, do ya?! (He grabs Pacino by the arm and drags him into the house.) Hey Mama Corleone!

MAMA C. (Coming out of the kitchen) What is it?

HYMAN. Tell Michael here to stop being stupid.

MAMA A. Michael can't help it, he's young and stupid.

HYMAN. Shut up!

MAMA C. That is not Michael!

HYMAN. Yes it is!

MAMA C. No, Michael is much cuter.

DEANNA. Yeah, much cuter!

MICHAEL. Yes, I am much cuter! (Noticing Al) Who the hell are you?!

PACINO. I'm seeing things...

FREDO. That's a weird name.

VINCENT. Of all the corney things we've said in this house...

APOLLONIA. Bella bella bella bella! (Finally, a hot guy!)

BARZINI. (Walks in and thinks there are two Michaels) NOOOOOOOO! (Faints)

VINCENT. Cool.

PACINO. I'm Al Pacino, which one of you is Michael Corleone?

MICHAEL. Are you with the Senate Committee?

PACINO. No.

MICHAEL. Then I'm Michael Corleone.

PACINO. I want a part in a movie. Johnny Fontaine told me you were the guy to ask.

MICHAEL. See that line outside? (There is a huge line outside, mostly filled with gangster-looking guys.)

PACINO. Yes.

MICHAEL. Take a number and go stand in it. Neri, I'm ready for number 47.

NERI. Forty-seven! (A big scary guy walks in.)

BIG SCARY GUY. I'm number 47.

NERI. The Don will see you now.

PACINO. Damn! You're a popular guy.

NERI. The boss is cool.

PACINO. Well, I guess I'll wait.

NERI. You're number 3,047.

PACINO. 3,047!!!

NERI. Sorry. Are you a first time visitor?

PACINO. I guess.

NERI. Then you'll have to fill out these forms. (Hands him a giant packet of forms.)

PACINO. Great.

*Everyone leaves except poor Al who is filling out the forms. Suddenly Mama C. sneaks up behind him with a chainsaw. -THE FOLLOWING CONTENT HAS BEEN LABELED AS YUCKY, BLOODY, VIOLENT, AND OTHERWISE UNSUITABLE FOR ANYONE TO READ-*

MAMA C. Now all the evidence of my affair with Clemenza is destroyed!

MICHAEL. (Enters) Mama, do we have any cannolis left, 'cause I'm kinda hun... DEAR GOD! Mama, what have you done?!

MAMA C. Calm down, you order this stuff done all the time.

MICHAEL. But with a chainsaw...? Why Mama?

MAMA C. Michael, there is something I have to tell you. Many years ago I had an affair with Clemenza... and Tessio... and that sexy Brazi guy...

LUCY. I'm jealous!

*Stay tuned. More GodBrother coming soon...*

Now that Don Mikey is back from Witness Protection, Continue the story! Im LMAO

(Several Days Later... everyone living in the house is sitting around in the living room. Vincent is sitting on the couch playing Grand Theft Auto 3.)

MICHAEL. You're cheating at GTA3. You make me sick...

GHOST OF DON VITO: (appears) A man who cheats at video games can never be a real man. (disappears)

DEANNA. Why are these games so violent?

MICHAEL. Why did Mama have an affair with Clemenza? Why is Al Pacino my long lost half-brother? Why do I go on living in this house with you imbeciles? (Swallows entire bottle of pills.)

VINCENT. (Throws the controller across the room.) Stupid games! Why do they have to be so difficult?!

HAGEN. At least you can play those things. Fredo's still mastering the can-opener.

FREDO. This tomato paste is trapped forever...

MICHAEL. (Hands Fredo a gun.) Use this.

FREDO. Thanks, Mikey! (He sets the can down on a table and aims the gun at it)

MICHAEL. On yourself... not the can, you idiot!

FREDO. Now, that's not very nice!

(Enter FCC)

FCC. Okay people! I have just finished conversing with Mr. Roth.

MICHAEL. My condolences.

FCC. I'm going to ignore that. Okay, it's time you people quit sitting around playing video games. As long as we are trapped in this house, we might as well make ourselves useful. Let's get to work filming this movie! Oh, and Michael, since Mama Corleone killed Al Pacino, you're going to have to play yourself.

MAMA A. Poor Al... he was young and stupid.

MICHAEL. For the last time, I'm not gonna be in this stupid movie!

ROTH. Why not?

MICHAEL. First of all, it's an elaborate plot to kill me. Second, the writing is terrible.

ROTH. But I wrote the script.

MICHAEL. Yes, that explains a lot.

ROTH. You think you could write a better movie script than me?

MICHAEL. Fredo could write a better movie script than you.

FREDO. Yeah! I can write! Someday, I hope to be able to read too!

ROTH. Okay! I'll bet you 3 million dollars that you can't write a better script.

MICHAEL. Three million? That's pocket change, Roth.

ROTH. Okay, 12.

MICHAEL. Now we're talking!

(Battle of the movie scripts....? Stay tuned... The GodBrother will continue...)

That was great D. Mikey! I want to see the Battle of the Scripts

You are brilliant. You should be comedian! You say you want to be historian, uh. You'll do good: my World History teacher tells the history in an hilarious way.

Keep 'em coming.

Giorgio Luigi Gambino

P.S. In the near future I'll start a thread called "The Godfather: The Broadway Musical."

P.S.2 Continue the story on the "Pulitzer Prize for fiction goes to..." thread in the General Discussion forum.

I agree with DGG, your story is hilarious Don Mikey and you have a great creativity, keep them coming!

DGG, you know what we need to do...

Somekind of twisted Survivor/Godfather spoof. (I hate reality TV, can you tell? But I love making fun of it... )

I was also considering Michael and Kay on "The Last Resort." Michael... Kay... a tropical paradise... trying to work out their differences... assassins hiding in the bushes...?

D'oh! Can't believe I left this out of my previous post. Sorry about the double post...

I'm writing a totally ridiculous Godfather story that you can read here: http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1004988

That story isn't getting updated very often because college is taking up all my time and sucking the life out of me. I'll try and finish chapter four this week.

Dont try, DO IT!
This is one of the funniest threads in the boards.