|
1 registered members (1 invisible),
379
guests, and 20
spiders. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums21
Topics43,401
Posts1,087,867
Members10,381
| |
Most Online1,254
Mar 13th, 2025
|
|
|
Re: Big Brother: The Godfather.
#1827
03/05/03 05:25 PM
03/05/03 05:25 PM
|
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 211
Kentucky
Don Mikey
Made Member
|
Made Member
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 211
Kentucky
|
WAR of the SCRIPTS, part I
(The very next day, Michael, Fredo, Mamas A&C, Vincent, Johnny Fontaine, Apollonia, and Tom Hagen are gathered in the kitchen.)
MICHAEL. I have called this meeting so that we might finally be able to end this war between the families...
NERI. Uh... boss... that was last week's meeting.
MAMA A. Leave the poor boy alone, he's young and stupid.
MICHAEL. Oh, shut up! (takes some pills) I have called this meeting to begin work on my movie, which will be infinitely better than the pathetic drivel Roth and his men will produce!
FREDO. YAY! (holds up a sign that reads: Michael Is 100 Times Cooler Than Roth)
MICHAEL. That is not going to make me forgive you, Fredo.
FREDO. It was worth trying...
VINCENT. Hey, Uncle Fredo, haven't seen you in a while. How ya doin'?
FREDO. Oh, I'm doin' good. How you doin'?
VINCENT. Doin' good. How ya doin'?
HAGEN. Dang, not this again.
MAMA C. Have some pasta, Vincent.
VINCENT. Thanks, Mama!
MICHAEL, TOM, and FREDO. She's OUR Mama! Not yours!
HAGEN. Technically, you're the weird miracle baby of Lucy and our dead brother, Sonny. I don't think we'll ever know how Dr. Jules managed that.
MICHAEL. You know... since it's physically impossible for you to exist... Maybe I should...
VINCENT. (sinking back into a dark corner) Sorry... Please, don't hurt me.
MICHAEL. Now, something occurred to me last night while I was lamenting my existence... Roth is going to create some kind of epic Mafia movie.
HAGEN. Yes. We can create a much better Mafia epic!
MICHAEL. That is not the point, Tom!
HAGEN. Why do you wanna hurt me like that, Mike?
MICHAEL. Look, if you're going to be difficult, you can take your wife, and all the girls in the house that you've been messing around with, and leave!
HAGEN. We can't leave, remember?
FREDO. You could go live in the boathouse. That's what I did.
FONTAINE. He made you live in the boat house? But that places floods and it's infested with bugs and rodents.
MICHAEL. Fredo felt right at home.
FREDO. Hey!
MICHAEL. Now, what occurred to me is that the movie-going public does not want great Mafia epics.
VINCENT. They don't?
MICHAEL. No.
HAGEN. What do they want then?
MICHAEL. Romantic Comedies.
EVERYONE ELSE. Romantic comedies????!!!
MICHAEL. Yes, romantic comedies... the whole boy gets girl, corny sex jokes, bad dialog deal...
HAGEN. Are you sure about that, Mike?
MICHAEL. Have I ever been wrong?
(everyone looks at him funny)
MICHAEL. About this kind of thing?
(they keep looking)
MICHAEL. Okay, fine! Fredo, what did you think of "Bridget Jones’ Diary"?
FREDO. Oh, that. Yeah, that was funny!
HAGEN. I'm still not sure I like this idea.
MICHAEL. Tom, you'll be playing the guy. Apollonia will be playing the girl.
HAGEN. Well... that's different then.
APOLLONIA. Bella, bella, bella, bella! (Translation: He's bald and not Italian. Please, NOOOOOO!)
VINCENT. How come I don't get to be the guy.
MICHAEL. Because I don't like you.
FREDO. You don't like anyone.
MICHAEL. And Fredo, you're playing the guy's drunk friend.
FREDO. Does this mean I get to... drink?
MICHAEL. Yes.
FREDO. WOOHOO! Count me in!
FONTAINE. What we gonna call this romantic comedy?
MICHAEL. I was thinking something like... "Romance of the Sadistic Lawyer."
VINCENT. Lame!
MICHAEL. You come up with the title then!
VINCENT. Okay... Uh...
FREDO. Banana Daiquiri!
ALL. Banana Daiquiri?
FREDO. Yeah...
MICHAEL. I never thought I'd say this, but... Fredo, that's brilliant.
"Be discreet in all things, and so render it unnecessary to be mysterious about any." - Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington
|
|
|
Re: Big Brother: The Godfather.
#1831
10/14/03 11:01 PM
10/14/03 11:01 PM
|
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 379
Southeast USA
Don Vanchenzo
Capo
|
Capo
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 379
Southeast USA
|
Just please don't put Mary, Vincent and a camera in the same apartment. 
"The Godfather was a man to whom everybody came for help and never were they disappointed. He made no empty promises, nor the craven excuse that his hands were tied by more powerful forces in the world than himself. It was not necessary that he be your friend, it was not even important that you had no means with which to repay him. Only one thing was required. That you, yourself, proclaim your friendship. And then, no matter how poor or powerless the supplicant, the Godfather would take that person's troubles to his heart. He would let nothing stand in the way to a solution of that person's woe. His reward? Friendship, the respectful title 'Don' and sometimes the more affectionate salutation of 'Godfather.' Perhaps, to show respect only, never for profit, some humble gift - a gallon or homemade wine or a basket of fresh baked goods on a holiday. It was understood to proclaim that you were in his debt and that he had the right to call upon you at any time to redeem the debt by some small service." -- Mario Puzo, The Godfather (1969).
|
|
|
Re: Big Brother: The Godfather.
#1833
10/15/03 12:07 AM
10/15/03 12:07 AM
|
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 211
Kentucky
Don Mikey
Made Member
|
Made Member
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 211
Kentucky
|
*The next morning everyone who is going to be in Michael's romantic comedy masterpiece "Banana Daiquiri" have gathered in the living room. Michael sits behind a big desk, someone has taped the word "Director" to the back of his chair. He's also wearing the GFIII sunglasses.*
MICHAEL. Normally I making art out of death... today I'm just making art. I feel strangely empty.
NERI. More pills?
MICHAEL. *grabs them and swallows a few, accidentally drops one on desk* Alright people, today we begin the filming of my romantic comedy. There's a pile of scripts on the coffee table.
HAGEN. Who wrote the script?
MICHAEL. I did, of course.
VINCENT. Uncle Mike, you got all the money in the world. What you doin' writtin' the script yourself? Besides, what do you know about love?
MICHAEL. Do you have any idea what getting a decent writer costs these days? And since we're stuck in this house I haven't been able to get a hold of my good kidnappers. Besides... *stares longingly at Apollonia*
APOLLONIA. Bella bella bella. [TRANSLATION: And you left me for the crazy blond.]
MICHAEL. Now, we are going to take it from act one, scene one.
VINCENT. Hey Uncle Mike, don't we actors get to negotiate our contracts first?
MICHAEL. WHAT?!
VINCENT. Ya know, I charge 23 million per movie. We gotta negotiate, it's the way of the industry.
MICHAEL. *points gun at Vincent* Negotiate this!
JOHNNY. Woah! Woah! Let's forget this and skip ahead to the last scene in act three where I sing the big love song.
MAMA A. Don't hurt poor Vincent, he's young and stupid.
MICHAEL. If you use that phrase one more time I'm gonna....
*Roth enters with Moe Greene and the others*
ROTH. First day of rehearsal, eh Corleone?
MICHAEL. What do you want? Don't you have a great Mafia epic to be filming?
ROTH. Oh, I do, but I heard all the yelling and I was worried... we've already gone over the recommended body count on this show.
VINCENT. Mr. Roth, I got a problem.
ROTH. What is it?
VINCENT. Uncle Mike won't pay me 23 million dollars to be in his movie.
ROTH. Did you even get to negotiate?
VINCENT. Nope. How ya doin' Mr. Roth?
EVERYONE. NOT THAT AGAIN!
ROTH. Well Vincent, I'll give you 30 million dollars to star in my great Mafia epic... all you have to do is play your Uncle Mike when he's old and feeling guilty.
MICHAEL. (to Neri) What's guilt?
NERI. Dunno, boss.
VINCENT. I'll do it!
MICHAEL. You can't take my actors!
ROTH. Oh, and I'll need Tom too
MICHAEL. But he's the star of Banana Daiquiri! Besides, Tom's my brother and he'll be in MY movie! Right, Tom?
HAGEN. How much you willing to pay me, Roth?
ROTH. 30 mil, same as Vincent.
HAGEN. Sorry Mike.
*Roth, Hagen, Vincent, and others exit*
MICHAEL. DAMN! *pounds fist on desk*
MAMA C. I'll make you some pasta... *exits*
FREDO. What are we gonna do now?
MICHAEL. *schemes for a moment* Roth thinks he can beat me! He thinks he can make a better movie! Well, I'll show him! We're through with this romantic comedy stuff! We are going to make a movie to end all movies... and I'm going to star in it!
FREDO. So, what's it gonna be about Mikey?
*everyone left in the room stares at Michael*
MICHAEL. Well... um... *he looks down at the desk and notices that when he pounded on it earlier one of the pills got crushed into a fine white powder* Fredo, do we still have that chainsaw… *suddenly in Cuban accent* … and that hideous shirt you bought in Cuba?
~Okay... I think we're finally getting near the end of this thing. They have to get out of this house while they're all still in once piece...~
"Be discreet in all things, and so render it unnecessary to be mysterious about any." - Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington
|
|
|
Re: Big Brother: The Godfather.
#1834
10/15/03 12:47 PM
10/15/03 12:47 PM
|
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 2,540
Amsterdam
Pherdy
Underboss
|
Underboss
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 2,540
Amsterdam
|
Originally posted by Don Giorgio Gambino:
what six Godfather men and six Godfather woman would you like to see 24 hours a day and why . I personally don't think of a group in a moment, but I will know in a near future.
this was how it started. how about we pick a new reality-tv-show? THE GODFATHER GOES SURVIVORon a pacific, desert island, Michael, Kay, Apollonia, Vincent, Al Neri, Gilligan (just kidding), Mama Antolini, Tom Hagen, Sonny and of course Fredo are stranded. they have to work together to survive, but, in all fairness, none of these people are very social. so the intrigues begin.... KAY: ow look, it's an island! APOLLONIA: Bella bella bella! (TRANSLATION: well, actually, it means she likes the looks of the island) SONNY: and we're stuck here. and where are the hoolagirls? VINCENT: I do no trust this mang, comon letsa getta out of here! MICHAEL: No!, no, it seems as if we're alone out here. That means we are safe. I have killed a few cops lately so I was planning on taking a long vacation anyway. FREDO: look, over there, that tree! [points]MICHAEL: thank god, an orange tree! I already like the place TOM HAGEN: Michael, we have a lot of business to do. We lack political power, I don't have mistresses, within a few years we loose all our strength... SONNY: heya waita minute! baddabeep who ya talkin to, heah? to Michael? what I oughtta... am I not the boss here? pop had Genco, and look what I've gat! MICHAEL: guys, guys, don't worry. we can argue this as reasonable men, can't we? FREDO: what's argue? SONNY: what is reasonable? TOM HAGEN: I agree with Mike. we can discuss this over dinner. Kay, Apollonia, Mama Andolini..?? KAY: why you male chauvinist kraut-pig friend, what do you think we are, maids? slaves? TOM HAGEN: I was hoping you gals could cook? KAY: who the hell do you think you are, commanding us women that much? TOM HAGEN: well, I am the consiglieri even though Sonny and Mike don't like it. something about wartime or something. anyway, go find some stuff to make us dinner. APOLLONIA: Bella bella bella (TRANSLATION: Kay, we'll make Tom a pie made of oranges) Kay smiles TOM HAGEN: what did she say? FREDO: you did not understand her? AL NERI: Tom's Italian is terrible. He's not a wartime consiglieri. He's not Sicilian. SONNY: dammit Tom, even Fredo got it VINCENT: I did not understand it either MICHAEL: that's because you look oddly a lot like a hispanic, instead of Italian SONNY: baddaboop how do you call yourself my son, heah? Vincent! MICHAEL: calm down Sonny. bunch of hotheads! listen, this is the plan: the women go find something to cook, while the men find a place to sleep at night. I will plan a major enemy-wipe out for the end of our stay here (a baptism or opera would help). And I warn you, brothers are not safe. AL NERI: okay boss! SONNY: don't be calling him no boss! I am pops oldest failure, you will be addresssing ME as the boss. I swear Neri if you ever say boss to Michael again, I'll kill ya!!!!! and the survivors go on and try to make the best out of this horrible, and lonely situation, on a deserted islandwhat a cliffhanger.... SONNY: oh, Vinnie boy...take a dictionary. find out what reasonable means..
|
|
|
Re: Big Brother: The Godfather.
#1837
10/15/03 01:31 PM
10/15/03 01:31 PM
|
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 211
Kentucky
Don Mikey
Made Member
|
Made Member
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 211
Kentucky
|
Great stuff, MB! Pherdy, the thing with the island was hilarious! I'm working on a new spoof where The Commission makes Tom go start his own family. I'll try to get some of that posted soon. (Think I'll start a new thread for it since this one is getting kinda long.)
Here are some challenges I thought of:
going to the opera with Connie
run a pizza place with Fabrizzio
cook dinner with Clemenza
change a light bulb with Fanucci
"Be discreet in all things, and so render it unnecessary to be mysterious about any." - Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington
|
|
|
|
I thought it would have been deleated when Geoff freed up all that new space. Glad to see it though 
