MMMmmmmmMMmm... organized crime.

Basically, I present to you,
The Classic Mob Moments of The Simpsons !

I will start you off:
When Bart works as a cocktail waiter in Fat Tony's 'Legitimate Businessmens club':

'Bart: Uh, say, are you guys crooks?
Tony: Bart, um, is it wrong to steal a loaf of bread to feed your starving
family?
Bart: No.
Tony: Well, suppose you got a large starving family. Is it wrong to steal
a truckload of bread to feed them?
Bart: Uh uh.
Tony: And, what if your family don't like bread? They like... cigarettes?
Bart: I guess that's okay.
Tony: Now, what if instead of giving them away, you sold them at a price
that was practically giving them away. Would that be a crime, Bart?
Bart: Hell, no!'


"And a little bit o' wine. An' a little bit o' sugar, and that's my trick."