Well, as I've been watching the first season DVD set, I've realized that The Sopranos really does have some brilliant writers...some of the lines in the show are just so fucking funny! What I had in mind for this thread is to post your favorite lines, jokes, comments, etc. from any season and any episode of The Sopranos. I'll start off with one that cracks me up over and over:

Scene: In Jackie's hospital room the guys are talking about the Jewish motel owners that want some help. They're discussing the situation and the Jewish guy who is a good friend of Jackie's (I forget his name) says that they're Hasidim, a branch of extremely Orthodox Jews.
Paulie, in response says: "Hasidim, but I don't believe 'em!" in a great black person's voice...

That line just cracks me up!!!

Uncle Junior got a good line when he is meeting with Tony in his doctors office..the line goes "Federal marshalls so far up my ass i can taste brill cream"

Hi,
The funniest line comes in one of the episodes that had Richie Aprile in it.

Tony: I thought I told you to back off of Beansie?
Richie: I did. Then I went foward again.

Dr. Melfi: You seem pretty angree
Tony: Yeah you must of been the top of your fuckin class!

TONY: "What's the problem?"
RICHIE: "Fuckin' Dick Barone!"
TONY: "As long as you're both happy."

JUNIOR: "The feds think I may pose a flight risk. Flight risk? I've been farting into the same sofa cushion for eighteen months."

PAULIE: "You're not gonna believe this. He killed 16 Czechoslavakians. Guy's an interior decorator."
CHRIS: (mystified) "His house looked like shit!"

probably this one for me too, also another good moment is paulies rant about shoelace hygeine

The one about Notre Dame/Nostradamus was pretty funny I thought.

"The boss of this family says your santa claus, Than your santa claus so shut the fuck up"-Paulie Walnuts

That one was good

I guess one of my favorites was this one:

For 3 years 900 Jews held their own against 1500 Roman Soldiers. They chose death before enslavement... The Romans, where are they now?
Your looking at em asshole

TONY: I was just over at Bacala's house

JANICE: Oh, how is he?

TONY: He's fat.

another one is

JANICE: it's none of your fucking business!

TONY: I think it is my business, considering i had to drag your last boyfriend out of here in a hefty bag!

both of those are from the last episode

Paulie: "You're late!"
Ralphie:" "Well... tomorrow I can be on time, but you'll be stupid forever."

Season 2, Episode 2:

Tony to Bobby "Bacala" Baccalieri: "You know, you really oughtta discover salad."
Bobby, while leaning on Tony's car: "What's that supposed to mean?"
Tony back to Bobby: "It means quit leaning on my car before you flip the damn thing, ya fat fuck!"

What season/episode was this from? I wanna hear it!

Christopher, when talking about Jackie Jr: "He's the HAIR apparant"

I can't believe that no one's mentioned Christopher's latest "mis-use" of words from last week ! (Season 4 / Episode 4)

When talking about who's leaking information, and the Feds, Christopher offers the opinion "They're trying to cause dysentery among us"...

Ummm...that would be "dissention", Chris. Not dysentery. :rolleyes:
Christopher = Norm Crosby.

"Did ya here Ginnie is going to have a 95 pound mole removed from here ass" I love that one.

Agree with Chris Y2J:
...and almost anything else from that episode.

But what was the one ... last season? Before? With, I think, Big Pussy? When he and Christopher were in an elevator to visit, or so Pussy thought, some working ladies.

Pussy: "Am I wearing too much cologne?"

Christopher: "You smell like Poco Rabanne crawled up your ass and died."

Agree with Chris Y2J:
...and almost anything else from that episode.

But what was the one ... last season? Before? With, I think, Big Pussy? When he and Christopher were in an elevator to visit, or so Pussy thought, some working ladies.

Pussy: "Am I wearing too much cologne?"

Christopher: "You smell like Poco Rabanne crawled up your ass and died."

What season/episode was this from? I wanna hear it![/b][/quote]Hi,
Season 2. The episode was titled House Arrest.

Paul

The guy who said, "Do I have on enough cologne?", to which Chris responded, "You smell like Paco Rabanne crawled up your ass and died", that was not Pussy. That was soon-to-be-executed capo-turned-rat Jimmy Altieri.

And that was Season One, Episode 13: I Dream of Jeannie Cusamano.

Thanks very much, Chris and Tony!

Hi,
One of the funniest lines was between Richie and Chris at the cardgame.

Christopher:Don't threaten me Richie.
Richie:Threaten you? I'll put one in your head.

Paul

A great one from this season: Christopher telling Tony that someone is "sowing dysentary in the ranks."

Season 2 when Adriana and Christopher have a spat at the restaurant while Tony and Carmela are seated with them (I think it's "D-Girl"). Adriana mentions not being asked to marry Chris yet and that's what starts it. Christopher mumbles something about the food and Tony says, "When you're married, you'll understand the importance of fresh produce!" Not rollin'-on-th'-floor funny, but I get a kick out of it because it shows a little of Tony's naivety.

Hi,
One of the funniest lines is delivered by Junior in The Weight.

Junior:Whatever you do don't mention drugs.Not even Tylenol.

Paul

A little off topic, but what the hell is a "D-Girl"? I remember thinking that throughout the whole episode and it didn't do anything but to confuse me more when Chris yelled out something to the effect of "You're just a fucking D-Girl!"...someone please shed some light on this...

It stands for "development girl," but I'm not sure what her tasks are exactly. From what little I gathered, it seems like she's basically just a "gopher" for the producers, directors, etc. But don't quote me on that, howardsternisgod.

Yeah, it means "development girl", which is one of the lowest rungs on the Hollywood ladder.