We'll still be playing this game when...

- Buffy Jr. gets married and has kids. Buffy Jr. works as a doctor and HATES baseball. Childhood trauma, I guess! Her Royal Buffiness is still cursing Ishii and still claims she's all-woman!
- Crabby Jr. gets married and Crabby is not only a great aunt but a great grandmother (great as in a good person ) Crabby has since moved to California and enjoys surfing and surfer boys.
- Bad Daddy has kicked us all out of his football league, leaving just him and his stimulator. He is still living in the suburbs of Philly; his favorite is Terrell Owens, Jr.
- A retired Pork and SC leaves the moderator duties of the GBB to Don Vercetti and Patrick. Pork and SC are roommates in a retirment home (with internet access of course so they can change their teams) and alternately forget when doubleheaders are and if they have their teeth in their mouth.
- Pat's Thoughts Volume 18,374: Why do these kids keep posting about masturbation?
- MC and CB take over as the reigning kings of fantasy of the GBB. Their rivalry will be talked about for years.
- Some things never change though - FS is still hanging flower pots and of course, enjoying the la-dies! His favorite pick-up line at the retirement home: "Do you believe in love in first sight? No? Maybe you should put on your glasses."
- My future version of 10 Things I Think I Think (ala Peter King) starts with "1 - Now I know why Pee-law was taking all those pee-breaks. In the famous words of Hyman Roth, "I'd give four million just to be able to take a piss without it hurting.""

Can Crabby Jr get married ASAP? She's so expensive.

California. Naaaaah. I'm a New York girl.

I forgot to add what Plaw will be doing...

- Plaw will be the new Bill James. His latest book, "Day Game after Night Game: How to Statistically Win at Fantasy Sports" is a New York Times Best Seller proving there is a huge population of fantasy nerds, rivaling the population of comic book nerds and pog collectors (after pogs were considered "retro" and cool in 2021).

If I have another night where four players take the night off, I may not play this dam game any more!


(alert)

and by the way the PSs were shit for today!
seems like everyone went in all directions.

Don't laugh.

The idea actually occurred to me to take last years basbeall thread, do some editing, and turn it into a season's diary interspersed with strategy tips, and try to get ESPN to publish it.

I'm sure there must be a couple of million fantasy sports players in the country, so there would certainly be some market for it.

Yea... The big question of the day: Where does the name Douche Bigelow come from??

That's a great idea, plaw! You have sex (all the Woody jokes), drugs (the over-the-counter stuff, anyway), intrigue (lots of collusion between Pork and Buffy), an antagonist ( - at least to some ), laughs (SC's one-liners), and a lot of poetry.

Add some strategy tips - (Tip #1 - Never pick a catcher for a day game...) and voila, you have yourself a best-seller.

Does that go hand in hand with "Try to pick a catcher that's playing ?"" I could use a couple of those tricks.

Of course, I'd need everyone's permission. But I would be willing to share the royalties.

By then Ishii will probably be playing with the Yankees.

I'm not cursing the Dodgers TOO much these days - they are doing awesome!!!

Of course I am not talking strictly from a fantasy perspective. I watched Lima last night. How DOES a pitcher allow 12 hits and NO WALKS?! Amazing. But they do allright for me every now and then (despite losing Brown and Dreifort) - I am not complaining.

And Shawn Green's grand slam night before last to bring the team ahead and beat the D-Backs?Amazing.

Jayson Werth almost broke a 30-something year old Ddoger dead streak and missed the cycle last night by that much. I had him last night - that woulda been sweet - and woulda meant third place for me.

By then everyone will be playing with the Yankees!

It takes some balls to pick the Tiger pitching staff, but I felt pretty comfortable with them considering what else was available. Jason Johnson has been hot the past few months and shut the Twinkies down in their last meeting. I dont know if I could ever go with Dontrelle because you never know if you'll get a gem or a disaster. He is way too inconsistent for my taste. I know he throws well against the Mets, but I figure its got to end sometime.

That will mean that you will have to call our lawyers. Don't worry Pee we will not go for a baseball players size contract. Just let us wet our beaks some.

's not even in the 90-something percentile.

I think ESPN would rather talk to someone at the top of the fantasy chain about publishing a book.

Although 's book would make for great bedtime reading!

It's only four days, for cryin' out loud.

Allow me to point out that I finished 204th out of some 100,000+ in the first half, and was around 99.8 or 99.9 last season.

And you know what they always say about the cream....

Devo says "when the cream sits out too long, you must whip it"......

"Whip it. Whip it good."

204th? Yeah, guess that is somewhat impressive. But there are still 203 people better than you who would probably make a better book that ESPN would be interested in.

OUCH, that was cold blooded.

If that doesn't make the 'boys' wanna curl up and hide.

Kind of like jumping in a cold ocean. :p

I see now why DB called me the friendly one. :p

That assumes that

a) All 203 are able to put more than two coherent sentences together at one time. I mean, if the writing on our BBs is any indication, given the fact that most of the 203 are probably kids....

and

b) That strategy tips notwithstanding, they would have all of the amusing little musings that we had on our thread last year, which would really be the bulk of the book.

I'm not being cold. Just statin' the facts, ma'am. Only an ultra-sensitive, emotionally starved, insecure person would actually SEE it as cold-blooded. And of course noone here is like that! :p

As far as jumping in an ocean - find a warm place and swim with a friend! When done right, no worries - the boys will be happy....

And another thing...

I'm sure that the 203 people who finished ahead of me in the first half are not the same 200 or so that finished ahead of me last season.

I'm sure if you combined last years scores with this years first half scores, I'd rank a lot higher.

Hey Crabby,

Patrick just started a Vinny Castilla thread.

Wants to know if he should he dump him or keep him?

Explain this please. I don't understand.

I tend not to cohabitate with the under 19 crowd. I'll leave that to others. I already know I would hump him.

Being defensive is not the same as the attributes above, is it? :p

By the way:

Of course my bedtime reading consists of fact or fiction - filled with tales of corruption, excitement, titillation, eroticism, suspense and drama. Erotic pictures are a plus.

Ok, so now I see this baseball book would suffice to have just about all of that. Sans the pics, but oh well. Maybe after DB comes through on his bet .......

Is there a bet going around that I missed?

From his fantasy team.

We already know that you would hump him.

No Bethie, I doubt if YOU missed anything. Just talk of "throwing jumps" and shotglasses and caps and whatever other sidebets people make.

Or people make for OTHER people....

Can someone else read this sentence out loud and see if it makes sense? I know I'm no Einstein, but.....


Oh, THAT bet LDV. Sorry I won't be there to see it. But I'm sure DB will be a man of his word.

"he should he dump him"?

And I quote:

That assumes that

a) All 203 are able to put more than two coherent sentences together at one time. I mean, if the writing on our BBs is any indication, given the fact that most of the 203 are probably kids....

Coherent

I'll volunteer to be your proofer on your book should it be published! Might help with my insomnia!

Regarding Only an ultra-sensitive, emotionally starved, insecure person - in other words a Metrosexual. :p

"he should he dump him"?

And I quote:

That assumes that

a) All 203 are able to put more than two coherent sentences together at one time. I mean, if the writing on our BBs is any indication, given the fact that most of the 203 are probably kids....

Coherent

[/b][/quote]Thank you LDV. That's what I've been gettin at. This coming from the guy who busted my chops over the word "noone". I wonder which dictionary he looked up to comprise this sentence.