I don't follow you? What about it?


Don Cardi

The article was writeen on April Fools Day. I got all excited and then dontomasso had to ruin it for me....

Geez, never even realized that! DUH! Ok! Guess t is Bullshit then!


Don Cardi

Bob Ross isn't he that guy who does paintings on the PBS. stations with a big brown afro who loves trees?

DonTomasso, the lyrics are hilarious, you are very talented!

(With apologies to Bob Dylan)

Clemenza's in the kitchen
Mixing up spaghetti sauce
Meanwhile Luca's itchin'
To chop the head off Woltz's horse
Assassins in their trenchcoats
Paulie took the day off
Said he had a bad cough
Got Sollozzo’s payoff

Look out Mike
The Don they’re gonna strike
Don’t know when
But they’re sure to try again
You better go in the bathroom
Looking for your “little friend”
The man in the policeman’s hat
Tries the veal, and
He never gets to finish
His dinner has a bloody end

PLaw that's great!!! You guys are all good at writing these lyrics. I think you missed your calling. There just may be money to be had here.


TIS

When I was in 7th, 8th, and 9th grade I used to sit around all day with my friends writing song parodies based on the pop music of the day.

If you ever listen to Don Imus, BTW, he had a hilarious parody several years ago of the same Dylan song with lyrics about OJ Simpson.

Well, with that particular Dylan song, which is sung at such a fast pace and IMHO loaded with lyrics (much like the pace of We Didn't Start The Fire by Billy Joel-Hey that's a good one too )it seems like it'd take a lot of thought.

Of course, you realize with all these lyrics we are making our favorite movie into somewhat of a comedy???


I may give it a shot later (too early for me), but don't think I'll surpass you. It's fun though.

TIS

I found the Dylan/OJ lyrics on the 'net....

I need an aspirin, watching Johnny Cochran,
OJ dopey grin, lookin' like a mannequin.
F. Lee Bailey suckin' on his spittle,
Acting non-commital, tryin' for acquittal.

Look out Juice, they'll cook your goose !
Jury's hand-picked for a not guilty verdict.
Need a lot of rhetoric, prosecutor lunatic.
But the man in the buckskin jacket on CNN
Wants to see your butt
Sittin' in the state pen !!!!

Holy Toledo, look at Judge Ito.
Trying to torpedo Robert Shapiro.
Marcia Clark the DA; "Objection, Hearsay !"
Disregard all the testimony that you heard today !
Look out Juice, keeps tryin' to vamoose,
Drive thru McDonald's, Happy Meal with Kato,
Got on an airplane goin' to Chicago.
Time to surrender, but OJ's just a no-show;
Goin' down to Mexico with A.C. in the Bronco.

Listen to the sermon, got to determine
Is Officer Furhman lying racist vermin?
Watching Larry King, he don't know anything.
Faye Resnick on, selling books, man, it's sickening.
Look out Juice, all that wife abuse.
Vapid lotus eaters, and all the bottom feeders,
Take a listen to the 911 call that proves that he beat her.
Yet the tabloid press more concerned with her Akita.

What's the jury think of that bloody glove, bloody hat,
Blood on your socks, boy, you should have found a laundromat.
Who's gonna testify to OJ's alibi?
Little Rosa Lopez, what can she verify?
Look out, Juice, evidence been introduced-
This ain't gonna turn out to be your lucky day !
Blood in the alleyway's got your DNA !
Number 32, there's a penalty flag in that play.
If I was you OJ, I think I'd start to pray !!

Look out Juice, they'll cook your goose !
Jury's hand-picked for a not guilty verdict.
Need a lot of rhetoric, prosecutor lunatic.
But the man in the buckskin jacket on CNN wants see your butt
Sittin' in the state pen

Sung to the tune of
Feel Like I'm Fixing To Die Rag (Next Stop Vietnam)
(With apologies to Country Joe & the Fish)

Come on all of you button men
Don Corleone needs your help again
He needs some kisses and lots of hugs
Since he turned down Sollozzo and his deal on drugs
So pick up your guns and hit the street
It's gonna be really neat

(CHORUS)
And it's one, two, three
What are we fighting for?
Don't ask me 'cause I don't know
My Capo said "I gotta go"
And it's five, six, seven
Now it's mattress time
We're gonna kill 'em all you see
The heads of Five Families

Now come on Rocco, here's your chance
Kill a boss and you'll advance
Let's go Neri, don't be shy
Kill Barzini and don't ask why
And Cicci, here's a job for you
We're gonna kill Moe Greene, too

(CHORUS)

Let's go hitmen and move fast
We don't want this war to last
There's plenty of money to be made
When we all join in the narcotics trade
Give McCluskey some veal on a dish
He'll soon be sleeping with the fish

(CHORUS)

Barzini, Tattaglia, Carlo too
We know what we have to do
Stracchi, Moe Greene, and Cuneo
All on the list; They have to go
I don't wanna kill everyone, you see
Just my enemies.

(CHORUS).
.
.
.
.
(Here are the original lyrics. You have to be from the "Woodstock Generation" to remember this song)

Come on all of you big strong men
Uncle Sam needs your help again
He's got himself in a terrible jam
Way down yonder in Viet Nam
So put down your books and pick up a gun
We're gonna have a whole lotta fun

(CHORUS)
And it's one, two, three, what are we fighting for
Don't ask me I don't give a damn,
The next stop is Viet Nam
And it's five, six, seven, open up the pearly gates
There ain't no time to wonder why, whoopee we're all gonna die

Come on generals, let's move fast
Your big chance has come at last
Now you can go out and get those reds
'Cause the only good commie is the one that's dead
And you know that peace can only be won
When we've blown 'em all to kingdom come

(CHORUS)

Come on wall street don't be slow
Why man this war is a go-go
There's plenty good money to be made
By supplying the army with the tools of its trade
Let's hope and pray that if they drop the bomb,
They drop it on the Viet Cong

(CHORUS)

Come on mothers throughout the land
Pack your boys off to Viet Nam
Come on fathers don't hesitate
Send your sons off before it's too late
And you can be the first ones on your block
To have your boy come home in a box

(CHORUS)

Sung to the tune of Maria from West Side Story

McCluskey
I just met a man named McCluskey
He punched me in the jaw
Outside the hospital door
That Cop

McCluskey
I just met a cop named McCluskey
I suddenly I knew
I'd have to kill him too
For Pop

OMG - that's hilarious! How do you come up with this stuff?? Obviously, you need more to do at work.

To the tune of Sinatra's New York, New York

Please don't spread the news
It's a secret you see
I have two guys I must kill, then
I'm off to Sicily

To the tune of the Beatle's Hey Jude

Hey Sal
Don't be afraid
You must die 'cause
You are a traitor

To the tune of the Beatle's Hey Jude

Hey Sal
Don't be afraid
You must die 'cause
You are a traitor

Hey, PL, I'm not as talented as you are with the lyrics, but how about a duet between Sal and Tom called "For Old Times Sake"?

I don't think I know that song.

How about to the tune of "One For the Road"?

plaw, you definetly have tooooooo much idle time...thank God. Great tunes all of youse. I even got out my harmonica.

I think there a possibility for a nice balletic beating scene - Sonny v. Carlo.

Is this real? Because they should definitely be considering hiring people from this board to be the lyricists!

This is proof positive I have no life. This one is for the true fanatics only. It is to the tune of Bob Dylan's song "ISIS"

I married Kay on ther fifth day of May.
But I could not hold on to her very long.
"In five years legitimate," that I did say,
Then the Roth hit try made me sing a new song.

I went to Miami, told Roth "it was Frank."
And then up to New York to tell Frank "It was Hyman"
In Havana Batista was fleeing from Castro;
And I found out that Fredo the traitor was lyin'

When I got back to Tahoe my boy's toy car was icy
That my family was lost my mama denied.
I owned Senator Geary but the cost was too pricey
And the Senate Comittee men told me I'd lied.

I returned to the compound and I confronted Fredo
Who first said he knew little, then complained he was smart.
Then we got Frankie's brother quick, like a tornado;
And his appearance gave Five Angels quite a big start.

They had no choice at all except for to clear me
Then I insulted Tom H. but I told him my plan.
"Meet Hymnan Roth's plane, dont let Fredo come near me;
Let him sleep with the fishes when he utters 'Amen."

KAYYYY O KAYYYY you mystical child!
What drives me toyou is what drives me insane!
I still can remember the way that you smiled!
In New York in the forties way before all this pain.

DT, you are a true poet.

Do you realize that all you lyricists have already written half of the GF musical?? You're all damn good too. Let's see, if I pound the pavement to sell your material, what's my cut if you hit the big time???


TIS

TIS you get the usual take.

I thought you were going to post one! Join the fun