My girlfriend and I got in a fight the other day, and I ran out of things to say, so I screamed "YOU WON'T TAKE MY CHILDREN!" She hates The Godfather films (she says they're too long and boring eek ), but she knew what I was quoting, and she fell in the floor laughing. Everything was fine afther that.

"Growing up my dad was like 'You have a great last name, Galifianakis. Galifianakis...begins with a gal...and ends with a kiss...' I'm like that's great dad, can we get it changed to 'Galifianafuck' please?" -- Zach Galifianakis