I purchased a digital camera from Walmart.com the other day. Being an employee, I can use my employee discount. However, my girlfriend seems to think I would forget such a thing.

Girlfriend -- Ok, you got the camera. Did you use your discount?

Me -- What am I, a schmuck on wheels? (Yea, I know, that's Goodfellas).

Girlfriend -- What?

Me -- To put it simply, I CAN HANDLE THINGS, I'M SMAHT! NOT DUMB LIKE EVERYONE SAYS! I'M SMAHT, AND I WANT RESPECT!!

Girlfriend -- So did you?

Me -- ...oops.

***NOTE***
I did use my discount, I just like scaring her. grin

"Growing up my dad was like 'You have a great last name, Galifianakis. Galifianakis...begins with a gal...and ends with a kiss...' I'm like that's great dad, can we get it changed to 'Galifianafuck' please?" -- Zach Galifianakis