It was Kramer to Raquel

A: Jerry to Elaine

Q: "What's going on? What's going on? I'll tell you what's going on. I'm fired! Because you kissed me. You kissed me, you stupid idiot! Rita called Russell and he fired me over the phone."

A: Susan to George
Q: No I can't, maybe you're faking.

A: Jerry to Elaine

Q: "Let me ask you something. You having any personal problems at home? Girl trouble, love trouble of any kind? What about drugs? You doing some of that crack cocaine? You on the pipe?"

A: Mr. Steinbrenner to George
Q: I hate the Drake! Maybe the whole thing was a scam. Anybody can just get engaged and get presents and just keep them all. Maybe they're on their way to Chicago tomorrow and do the whole thing all over again.

Boy, it's not hard to tell it's a Friday afternoon based on the quick response time.

A: Jerry to Elaine

Q: "I bet she was one of those rich handicapped people who just wanted to sit in her chair and take it easy!"

George to Jerry, Kramer?

Q: "Let's bagel!"

You got it Freddie C.

A: Kramer to the bagel shop owner at J&J's.

Q: "They gave me the Penske file."

George to Jerry/Elaine
"Do your thing there, where you lie to everyone"

A: Sounds like something Jerry would say to George?

If so...

Q: "I never knew you were so into breasts. I thought you were a leg man."

A: Elaine to Jerry about Teri Hatcher

Q: "When I was a young boy, there were rumors that mama had taken a lover. Perhaps "Bosco" was this man's name..."

Peterman to George and whoever else was listening.
"What's the deal w/ politics?!"

A: Kramer pretending to impersonate Jerry's stand-up

Q: "You don't get that toilet book out of here and I won't jump over this counter and punch you in the brain."

A: Slightly misquoted, but it was Rebecca, the woman working the counter at the homeless donation center.

Q: "I'm at the corner of 1st and 1st."

I'm glad you knew what I meant - I knew the gist of it but figured the wording might be off.

A: Kramer to Jerry

Q: But I answered him in the same way I answered everyone. I choose not to run.

Jerry to Elaine

"There are no delicatessens under Communism"

A: Kramer to Mickey
Q: No I don't drink coffee at night. It keeps me up

George to Carol

"Boy, I bet you got a regular Algonquin round table there."

A: Jerry to the girl he dated who liked the "Dockers" commercial

Q: "Say you've got a big job interview and you're a little nervous. Well throw back a couple shots of Hennigans and you'll be as loose as a goose and ready to roll in no time. And because it's odorless, why, it will be our little secret."

A: Kramer advertising for hennigans

Q: The road less taken is less taken for a reason.

A: Jerry to Elaine's friend Leslie

Q: "There was this guy, and we had a few too many...and we made out at the table like our plane was going down!"

A: Elaine to Jerry in "The Bookstore."

Q: "I found it morose. Why dwell on these negative themes?"

George to Jerry

Next: "Ninety-four years old. I found her yesterday. She didn’t have her wig on. It was horrifying."

A: Harold to Jerry
Q: Yeah, like Diane Fosse. You know she's the only person that's ever been accepted into gorilla society. And you know, once those gorillas accept you, you got it made in the shade.

Kramer to George

Next: "I must have been out of my mind. Look at you. Why don't you do something with your life?"

A: Kramer breaking up with his girlfriend
Q: This woman hates me so much. I'm starting to like her

George to Jerry

Next: "Because my cousin's imbecile dog was rolling around outside and they got in his carpet."

A: George to Jerry
Q: My neck is one gargantuan monkey fist

Peterman to Elaine

Next: "This is an emergency? You need a bathing suit?"

BTW, good to see you again, Rocky.

A: Jerry to Kramer

Q: "You know, I didn't realize it, but I'm a needy person."

Kramer to Jerry

"Well, this is all very sophisticated."