A: Jerry to his mom

Q: "What? I gave you my blood. Listen to your pulse: 'hey buddy-hey buddy-hey buddy...'"

Kramer to Jerry

"I couldn't raise a kid? Come on, I love bossing people around."

A: Elaine to Jerry

Q: "It's Benes, you jackass!"

Elaine to Kramer

"He's all smooth now. Look's like a seal."

Wow, Mista - you're posting some obscure gems.

A: Jerry to Elaine about Uncle Leo's singed eyebrows.

Q: "Well, there's nothing more sophisticated than diddlin' the maid and then chewin' some gum."

Thanks Goombah, I try to make em good ones

Elaine to Jerry

"I never assume. Leads to assumptions."

A: Jerry to Wynonna

Q: "You sold us a hair with a cake around it."

Elaine to the Bakery clerk

"I'd like to have shoehorn hands."

A: Jerry to Elaine

Q: "I'm homeless! I'm gonna be out on a street corner, dancing for nickels."

Newman to Kramer

"Eggplant. Yes. That's a hell of a thing."

A: Steinbrenner to Costanza

Q: "We've never gotten so many complaints. Every two minutes: "Where is the top of this muffin? Who ate the rest of this? Why don't you just drop off some chicken skins and lobster shells?"

Rebecca to Elaine

"I got about fifty-feet out and then suddenly the great beast appeared before me."

A: George to Elaine, Kramer, & Jerry about his "marine biologist" experience

Q: "Mr. Steinbrenner is over, George is dead, call me back."

Frank Costanza to Jerry's message machine

"He looks like a frog."
"So do you."

A: Slippery Pete to Schlomo

Q: "Look, you wanna have sex right now? Do want to have sex with me right now? Let's go! C'mon - let's go baby!"

George to Sharon

"Start packing up your little squeeze toys buddy boy, you're
checking out!"

A: Jerry to dog
Q: Got anything to nosh?

George to Joe

"I'm all a-twitter."

A: Kramer to the girlfriend who mistakenly thought he died and then threw him in East River

Q: "But I'm afraid of clowns!"

Kramer to Jerry

"We WILL annex Poland by the Spring, at any cost!"

A: Mr. Pitt to the stockholders of the water companies he plans to merge

Q: "Now shut your mouths or I'll shut'em for ya. And if you think I'm kidding, just try me. Try me. Because I would LOVE it!"

George to two seat-kickers in the movie theater

"I'm lukewarm about the Drakette."

A: Elaine to Jerry & Kramer

Q: "You don't work in the rain? You're a mailman. 'Neither rain nor sleet nor snow...' - it's the first one!!"

George to Newman

"He likes... fruit, and he just got, um... a haircut."

A: Elaine at the bachelor auction to the audience re: Kramer

Q: "Isn't it obvious? There are no parking meters out here."

Frank to Estelle

"It stinks. Can you smell that?....You stink."

A: Kramer to George when the latter was trying the "hair growing cream."

Q: "You having any personal problems at home? Girl trouble, love trouble of any kind? What about drugs? You doing some of that crack cocaine? You on the pipe?"

Steinbrenner to George

"What kind of snow blower did you get us mixed up with?"

A: Newman to Jerry & Kramer

Q: "Quiet!! You shut up! You make me change restaurant, but nobody comes! But where are people? You see people? Show me people. There are no people!"

Babu to Jerry

"Look away, I'm hideous!"