No, but the thread is for Hotties. Not people who look hot in magazine shoots. Imagine trying to move in one of those plastic suits. The endless squeaking, the contorted face of frustration, the stickiness of the material against the sweat.

All of these images are staged, forced, they're playing to the idea of men's fantasies of roleplay. I mean, look at that Krista Allen one. What the fuck is she doing in the first pic? The intention is obviously seduction, but she just looks retarded. Like, physically retarded. It's disgustingly superficial.

This is when she was "hot"? Seriously, she looks like an astronaut from a movie about a down syndrome sent to another planet.


Am I the only one who looks at photos like that ^^^ and thinks, "Christ, what the hell was a) she thinking when posing for that shot, and b) what the hell was she being told when posing for that shot. And the crazy thing is is how much she would have got paid to do it.

I realise it is equally the fault of the photographers as it is the models. Truth is, they're completely incompetant - though they seemingly do find a niche of drooling males.


What the hell is hot about that? A woman with a gun? Though she also happens to be wearing high heels and uncomfortable and inflexible pants? Don't you realise the severe contradiction at work there in order to give you a hard-on? It's so contrived and fake. "Now, then, Ms. Spears, if you could just point towards the East there with the gun, yeah, that's right, to the left a bit. Try and look more serious, as if you're going to shoot somebody, but not really going to shoot somebody, like a playful shooting. Yeah, as if you're seducing them with a gun. Yeah, seduction via gun and high heels."


That might be the hottest of the lot because I can overlook the contrivance and imagine that it was taken on a whim in between shoots, when she was looking and feeling incredibly bored and thinking, "Jesus, what the fuck am I doing?" (Well, she probably wasn't, but one can imagine, no?)

And this one, haha...


The long, creased neck is "beautiful"? At least it hasn't been Photoshopped out, I'll say that. But man, if the Catwoman outfit is part of the hotness in the KA pics, part of the overall whole, then I don't see why I shouldn't fucking piss on Spears' fashion sense here. What's with that elastic band round her waist just above her belly button? Is that so you can pull it really far out and then let go and see it hit her stomach and hear the twang? The low-cut top does nothing for her cleavage, either, it just creates a vast, empty triangle to target with tomatoes and other mushed up vegetables.


Posting this one again, actually, because another thing I've just noticed is the sky. Look at it! Incredibly grey, incredibly heavy, it's going to be a shitstorm of rain and other downward hail soon, and all she's wearing is a skimpy fucking top like that? Come on, where's she going to run? Nowhere quick, and nowhere far, with fucking shoes like that.

Look what "that kid did to herself"? Are you kidding? Give me a fucking break, guys. Or give her one. Don't you realise that we're only seeing her baldy head the way we're seeing it because it's what the Media wants? They've deliberately captured it as naturally as possible, greyed the image up so there's no sun shining on her, and that it looks like a still from Alien 3. It's absolutely nonsensical. You're puppets to the Media.

How is she not beautiful now? How was she not ugly then? Don't even bother to answer; Spears hasn't changed one bit, it's the photos you're being shown that have.