ON DEADLY GROUND (1994) - *1/2

Its amazing how far Steven Seagal's career has collapsed.

In the late 80s and early 90s, he was hot shit in the action film world. His debut-film ABOVE THE LAW was a sleeper profit-maker. HARD TO KILL, MARKED FOR DEATH, and OUT FOR JUSTICE all hit #1 in theatres. Then his peak came with 1992's UNDER SIEGE, a mega-hit that also was a pretty damn good action movie, in spite of being a DIE HARD knock-off.

What happens next with ON DEADLY GROUND is similar to Arnold Schwarzenegger. Remember folks when TERMINATOR 2 was the movie of summer 1991? Well, all that money and goodwill evaporated with the turkey LAST ACTION HERO.

Thing is, LAST ACTION HERO had a good premise, it just ends up being an Arnold ego-fest and going way way over-budget. Plus, JURASSIC PARK ate it like a lawyer on a toilet.

ON DEADLY GROUND is just a piece of shit action floater with a plot that Joel Silver and Jerry Bruckheimer would consider stupid, that Steven Seagal tried his best to be his ultra-statement on his pro-environment conservationist.

Worse, he tried to go Orson Welles on us as Director/Producer/Writer/Actor...with hilarious results.

Hilarious that is, to people that couldn't believe I wasted my time with this movie. They had a good deserved ha-ha over my folly. Someone has to take a bullet for them without money to spend.

The film has what you would expect from any Seagal picture of the time. The same zen/martial arts master that is always on top of things. The same master that also was a former Marine or Ranger or special forces hero or whatever(you know, to explain why he's such an amazing killing machine).

Which reminds me, its the same paradox that Billy Jack of the 1960s/70s presented. For such a man of peace and zen-philosophy, kicking ass and killing people is okay. Weird, isn't it?

Which I don't mind. You can't have an action hero that never was a super-soldier if they are to do incredible gunfighting feats...even if DIE HARD proved that you don't need it.

Back on track, Seagal finds out that in the Alaska wilderness, an Evil Oil Corporation and its unclean drillers is polluting the local Eskimo lands. Seagal gets pissed, he kills many people, and for some reason, he does alot of nut-kicks.

What is hilarious though is the movie's baddie, played by the great Michael Caine. Another Evil Oil Corporation CEO that pollutes for his money, but he's got a special gimmick: Like Seagal, he was a former U.S. special forces soldier.

Huh?

The action is lacking and starting to horribly repeat with the fight scenes, but its not the problem. Its just that Seagal is incompetent in shooting fighting sequences. With ABOVE THE LAW & UNDER SIEGE, Andrew Davis was able to helm Seagal believably without Seagal's ego-bullshit. Notice how in those two movies, Seagal gets his ass beaten alot. Other movies, he's punch-proof.

But the icing on this Fuck You cake is Seagal's finale speech, detailing why the environment must be saved, pollution sucks, and why corporations should all go to hell. Its agonizingly lame as it is, but rumor has it that it was originally 11 minutes long(!) to which it was chopped out because test screening audiences laughed at how silly it is.

Ouch.