A bloke is on trial in court. The judge says to him, "You are charged with battering your wife to death with a hammer."

A voice at the back of the courtroom shouts "You lousy bastard!"

The judge continues, "You are also charged with battering your daughter to death with a hammer."

The same voice from the back shouts "You complete shithouse!"

The judge says to the heckler, "Well, this can't go on. Come here! I can understand you being upset about this case, but any more outbursts and I shall find you in contempt of court. Now what's the idea?"

The heckler says "Well, your honour, I lived next door to this bastard for twenty years. Every time I asked him if I could borrow a hammer, he said he hadn't fucking got one!"