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I present to you the best movie ever made...
#399134
06/07/07 11:23 PM
06/07/07 11:23 PM
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Joined: Aug 2003
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long_lost_corleone
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So, I just finished out the school year (still have exams to take) and as an end of the year project in my French class, we had to make an episode of this really bad French television show called "Clementine" that aired on BBC years ago. Basically, it looked like it had been shot on VHS sometime around 1988, was really cheesy, and was about a girl with a Lesbo-haircut, named Clementine. In the last episode, she and her best friend, Virginie, fight over a boy they meet at work, Patrick. Also, her brother Emile breeds rats in his bedroom. The video I made with me and my friends picks up where that all left off, and it's safe to say it makes Casablanca look like Big Momma's House. The only film better than this one is probably Ferngully. The filming is a bit sketchy because we had a day to make it, and it lost some technical quality when I uploaded it to the internet, but, regardless, you can view it here: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5320863478239063653&q=Clementine+-+French+ProjectI just had to post it to exercise my extremely modest ego.
"Somebody told me when the bomb hits, everybody in a two mile radius will be instantly sublimated, but if you lay face down on the ground for some time, avoiding the residual ripples of heat, you might survive, permanently fucked up and twisted like you're always underwater refracted. But if you do go gas, there's nothing you can do if the air that was once you is mingled and mashed with the kicked up molecules of the enemy's former body. Big-kid-tested, motherf--ker approved."
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Re: I present to you the best movie ever made...
[Re: DonVitoCorleone]
#399164
06/08/07 12:56 AM
06/08/07 12:56 AM
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,944 East Bay
Blibbleblabble
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Poo-tee-weet?

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That was freakin' awesome LLC! Are you in this video? I love the camera angles like with the hairy leg. It's even better when I don't have a clue what anyone is talking about but it's obvious the lines are being read.  I miss my high school days of making videos like that. I wish I still had mine to show you. We actually got away with saying the F-word *gasp* by putting that beep sound that is used for editing foul language, except we only put the beep on the left speaker and left the original audio in the right speaker. The teacher didn't catch it for some reason but everyone else said "Hey... did I just hear..." Again, sweet video. I'm going to watch it a couple more times if you don't mind 
"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." -Calvin and Hobbes
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Re: I present to you the best movie ever made...
[Re: Blibbleblabble]
#399648
06/09/07 02:13 PM
06/09/07 02:13 PM
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 4,512 Right here, but I'd rather be ...
long_lost_corleone
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That was freakin' awesome LLC! Are you in this video? I love the camera angles like with the hairy leg. Yeah, I play the girls' boss, the raver in the construction helmet, and Emile, Clementine's brother. The hairy leg shot is my favorite shot. I showed it to one of my friends (we have a shot of her in the credits... "Clementine" tries to spit a grape into her mouth, but it lands in her cleavage) and she told me she didn't know I had a cat. Thanks for the kind words though, everyone. Means a lot... Especially because we did not approach this with any seriousness or goals.
Last edited by long_lost_corleone; 06/09/07 02:15 PM.
"Somebody told me when the bomb hits, everybody in a two mile radius will be instantly sublimated, but if you lay face down on the ground for some time, avoiding the residual ripples of heat, you might survive, permanently fucked up and twisted like you're always underwater refracted. But if you do go gas, there's nothing you can do if the air that was once you is mingled and mashed with the kicked up molecules of the enemy's former body. Big-kid-tested, motherf--ker approved."
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Re: I present to you the best movie ever made...
[Re: Blibbleblabble]
#399734
06/09/07 10:18 PM
06/09/07 10:18 PM
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 4,512 Right here, but I'd rather be ...
long_lost_corleone
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Yeah, mine was a .mov too... it uploaded pretty crappy. I would've converted it to mpeg, but my conversion software was acting up.
I just literally spent five minutes trying to type "but".
"Somebody told me when the bomb hits, everybody in a two mile radius will be instantly sublimated, but if you lay face down on the ground for some time, avoiding the residual ripples of heat, you might survive, permanently fucked up and twisted like you're always underwater refracted. But if you do go gas, there's nothing you can do if the air that was once you is mingled and mashed with the kicked up molecules of the enemy's former body. Big-kid-tested, motherf--ker approved."
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Re: I present to you the best movie ever made...
[Re: long_lost_corleone]
#399901
06/10/07 01:27 PM
06/10/07 01:27 PM
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 31,330 New Jersey, USA
J Geoff
The Don
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The Don

Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 31,330
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Some excellent shots in there!  Next time I'll read your entire post before watching it -- I didn't realize you were playing women -- I thought it was a French "Queer as Folk" spoof or something But in any event - incredible for 1 day!
I studied Italian for 2 semesters. Not once was a "C" pronounced as a "G", and never was a trailing "I" ignored! And I'm from Jersey!  lol Whaddaya want me to do? Whack a guy? Off a guy? Whack off a guy? --Peter Griffin My DVDs | Facebook | Godfather Filming Locations
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Re: I present to you the best movie ever made...
[Re: J Geoff]
#400037
06/10/07 08:14 PM
06/10/07 08:14 PM
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 4,512 Right here, but I'd rather be ...
long_lost_corleone
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Some excellent shots in there!  Yeah, I was overwhelmed with them... I really didn't have more than three of those shot planned out before we went at it. The whole project was very impromptu and experimental. Thanks for the kind words, JG and Cardi. 
"Somebody told me when the bomb hits, everybody in a two mile radius will be instantly sublimated, but if you lay face down on the ground for some time, avoiding the residual ripples of heat, you might survive, permanently fucked up and twisted like you're always underwater refracted. But if you do go gas, there's nothing you can do if the air that was once you is mingled and mashed with the kicked up molecules of the enemy's former body. Big-kid-tested, motherf--ker approved."
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Re: I present to you the best movie ever made...
[Re: long_lost_corleone]
#401051
06/12/07 01:13 PM
06/12/07 01:13 PM
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 4,512 Right here, but I'd rather be ...
long_lost_corleone
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You folks can all expect a sequel.
My friends all had fun making it/watching it, that I've been begged to make another movie for/with them.
This time we're going to exceed the levels of greatness achieved by Ferngully.
"Somebody told me when the bomb hits, everybody in a two mile radius will be instantly sublimated, but if you lay face down on the ground for some time, avoiding the residual ripples of heat, you might survive, permanently fucked up and twisted like you're always underwater refracted. But if you do go gas, there's nothing you can do if the air that was once you is mingled and mashed with the kicked up molecules of the enemy's former body. Big-kid-tested, motherf--ker approved."
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Re: I present to you the best movie ever made...
[Re: long_lost_corleone]
#401378
06/13/07 12:00 AM
06/13/07 12:00 AM
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,944 East Bay
Blibbleblabble
Poo-tee-weet?
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Poo-tee-weet?

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Oh no *groan*. Not another sequel. They're never as good as the original.  Actually, my first reaction to reading your post was "Sweet!" Then I thought about it and thought "I'm calling my agent, if I'm not in that sequel then he's fired!" Off topic, I had the opportunity to be an extra in We Were Soldiers. I spent four days, sixteen hours each day in grueling 110 degree weather in a full authentic military outfit without enough bottled water or sunscreen to go around, and I'm not even in the movie once they edited it all together! I got some pictures to prove it though. If you've seen the movie I was apart of the opening scene. I was one of the French soldiers that got massacred. It was fun dying over and over again for four whole days. The Vietnamese guys had even more fun killing us for four days I think.
"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." -Calvin and Hobbes
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Re: I present to you the best movie ever made...
[Re: Blibbleblabble]
#401436
06/13/07 02:24 AM
06/13/07 02:24 AM
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 4,512 Right here, but I'd rather be ...
long_lost_corleone
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Well, it'll be a sequel in the sense that it'll have absolutely nothing to do with this film, its plot, characters, or the French language. So, yeah, actually, that's pretty much like most sequels.
Cool stuff with the extra business though. You probably should have gone up to random members of the crew and asked if there were any elongated blunt instruments laying around that you could use to spear the Vietnamese extras with.
"Somebody told me when the bomb hits, everybody in a two mile radius will be instantly sublimated, but if you lay face down on the ground for some time, avoiding the residual ripples of heat, you might survive, permanently fucked up and twisted like you're always underwater refracted. But if you do go gas, there's nothing you can do if the air that was once you is mingled and mashed with the kicked up molecules of the enemy's former body. Big-kid-tested, motherf--ker approved."
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Re: I present to you the best movie ever made...
[Re: long_lost_corleone]
#401437
06/13/07 02:53 AM
06/13/07 02:53 AM
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 5,944 East Bay
Blibbleblabble
Poo-tee-weet?
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Poo-tee-weet?

Joined: Sep 2003
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East Bay
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Oh they gave us real rifles with bayonets. It was fun shooting blanks even though I'm not a gun guy. The best part of the whole experience was, in the costume stage of the first day, they had to cut all of our hair to match the French military hair style of the 1950's. I was the first one lined up outside of the trailer where they were going to cut our hair. One of the ladies inside came out and said "First person, come on." I went inside and sat down and holy crap, there's Mel Gibson getting his hair cut in the seat right next to mine. I didn't talk to him because honestly, I'm one of the least star struck guys in the world, but it was still strange seeing a guy I have only seen in movies sitting right next to me getting his hair cut and having a rather boring chit-chatty conversation with the lady cutting his hair. He was a lot shorter than I would have guessed too.
Anyway, are you saying the sequel won't be in French? You should have at least one French character just for fun, even if it doesn't make sense.
"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." -Calvin and Hobbes
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Re: I present to you the best movie ever made...
[Re: Blibbleblabble]
#401497
06/13/07 11:59 AM
06/13/07 11:59 AM
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 4,512 Right here, but I'd rather be ...
long_lost_corleone
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It's not going to be a sequel, really. Just an unrelated movie. I actually just like the letter 'q'. It's fun to pronounce. So I'll call it a sequel, even though it really isn't.
"Somebody told me when the bomb hits, everybody in a two mile radius will be instantly sublimated, but if you lay face down on the ground for some time, avoiding the residual ripples of heat, you might survive, permanently fucked up and twisted like you're always underwater refracted. But if you do go gas, there's nothing you can do if the air that was once you is mingled and mashed with the kicked up molecules of the enemy's former body. Big-kid-tested, motherf--ker approved."
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