Two dogs are sitting together in a vet's waiting room. First dog asks the second dog, "What are you here for?" Second dog replies, "It's the end...my mistress has a little one-year-old. The kid was eating a cookie the other day. I was hungry and I couldn't help myself, so I snatched it from her hand, and my teeth cut her--they're gonna put me down! What're you here for?"

First dog replies: "Yesterday, my mistress was takin' a shower upstairs. I wandered into the bathroom, and I caught a glimpse of her steppin' outta the shower. Hoo-eee! I got hot, and next thing you know, I humped her."
"Sounds like curtains for you," said the second dog.
"Nah," said the first dog, "She just wants the doc to cut my nails."