I love how everyone they interviewed for that piece said the same exact thing, and they still felt inclined to include them all in the final article. I can just imagine some fat, grotesque, redneck bastard slurring his speech in a thick southern accent, repeating "she ain't done been gone and crying 'er nuttin', donez nowz"

But anyways, this woman killed her children? A disgrace to all women. I bet she has a fat set of testicles.

"Somebody told me when the bomb hits, everybody in a two mile radius will be instantly sublimated, but if you lay face down on the ground for some time, avoiding the residual ripples of heat, you might survive, permanently fucked up and twisted like you're always underwater refracted. But if you do go gas, there's nothing you can do if the air that was once you is mingled and mashed with the kicked up molecules of the enemy's former body. Big-kid-tested, motherf--ker approved."