Beth, those were great. Here's something I did that should surely be added to those.

I was friends with a colleague from another office who was single. He had not answered several messages that I had left him. The receptionist at his office said that she believed he was down near my office getting his car serviced. When I finally got him on the phone, I asked him why he had come down to our county to get his car fixed, when I knew he lived about an hour away, and he told me that he had been "in the area" the night before.

Kidding around, I asked him if he had gotten lucky. He said, "Well, you know Jane, who works for the County Executive?" I never had much respect for Jane, and referred to her as "dumber than dirt", so of course I said, "Oh God, please don't tell me you're doing dumber than dirt Jane!". To which he replied, "She's not really stupid." I said, "Oh, c'mon! Her bra size is bigger than her IQ!!"

To which he replied, "We eloped over the weekend."

When my boss told her husband the story that night over dinner, she told me that he was choking so badly that she almost had to give him the Heimlich.