Hey, no problem... my therapist said I should share more!

Actually, it can happen. Some male bicycle competitors have reported that experience. The pressure of the bicycle seat against the blood vessels and nerves in that area can have that effect.

Your therapist licence should be revoked.

That happens to me about twice a year. I don't know what else to say, other than it's a weird sensation.

NPS

Numb Penis Syndrome!

Very common.....

I wish I had it. It might give me the chance to please my GF for a bit longer.

You still have a tongue though,surely?

haha yes Indeed I do.

But I'm a selfish selfish lover.

Excuse me, but there are other ways in which you can please your Godfather!

I don't go ass to mouth though.


EEEWWWWW!!!

My wife and i were wondering where to take my middle boy,Andrew,for his 9th birthday meal next week,when she got an e-mail from Pizza Hut with a special offer!

50% off if you come DIE with us

If thats their latest marketing gimmick i can't see it working!


Still 50% off is 50% off

Might risk it!!!

Have any of you seen anyone wipe a dog's ass after it took a dump? I did yesterday. Gross!

It's bad enough having to pick it up in a poop bag

What for? Don't dogs scoot themselves across our nice clean carpets and/or floor to wipe?

They didn't check the spelling mistake as they thought that their wage doesn't stretch that far!

You know you've been to the Emergency Room too much when the nurses start to remember you by name.

What happened?

heh-heh

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/23/world/europe/23crapstone.html

January 23, 2009
No Snickering: That Road Sign Means Something Else
By SARAH LYALL

CRAPSTONE, England — When ordering things by telephone, Stewart Pearce tends to take a proactive approach to the inevitable question “What is your address?”

He lays it out straight, so there is no room for unpleasant confusion. “I say, ‘It’s spelled “crap,” as in crap,’ ” said Mr. Pearce, 61, who has lived in Crapstone, a one-shop country village in Devon, for decades.

Disappointingly, Mr. Pearce has so far been unable to parlay such delicate encounters into material gain, as a neighbor once did.

“Crapstone,” the neighbor said forthrightly, Mr. Pearce related, whereupon the person on the other end of the telephone repeated it to his co-workers and burst out laughing. “They said, ‘Oh, we thought it didn’t really exist,’ ” Mr. Pearce said, “and then they gave him a free something.”

In the scale of embarrassing place names, Crapstone ranks pretty high. But Britain is full of them. Some are mostly amusing, like Ugley, Essex; East Breast, in western Scotland; North Piddle, in Worcestershire; and Spanker Lane, in Derbyshire.

Others evoke images that may conflict with residents’ efforts to appear dignified when, for example, applying for jobs.

These include Crotch Crescent, Oxford; Titty Ho, Northamptonshire; Wetwang, East Yorkshire; Slutshole Lane, Norfolk; and Thong, Kent. And, in a country that delights in lavatory humor, particularly if the word “bottom” is involved, there is Pratts Bottom, in Kent, doubly cursed because “prat” is slang for buffoon.

As for Penistone, a thriving South Yorkshire town, just stop that sophomoric snickering.

“It’s pronounced ‘PENNIS-tun,’ ” Fiona Moran, manager of the Old Vicarage Hotel in Penistone, said over the telephone, rather sharply. When forced to spell her address for outsiders, she uses misdirection, separating the tricky section into two blameless parts: “p-e-n” — pause — “i-s-t-o-n-e.”

Several months ago, Lewes District Council in East Sussex tried to address the problem of inadvertent place-name titillation by saying that “street names which could give offense” would no longer be allowed on new roads.

“Avoid aesthetically unsuitable names,” like Gaswork Road, the council decreed. Also, avoid “names capable of deliberate misinterpretation,” like Hoare Road, Typple Avenue, Quare Street and Corfe Close.

(What is wrong with Corfe Close, you might ask? The guidelines mention the hypothetical residents of No. 4, with their unfortunate hypothetical address, “4 Corfe Close.” To find the naughty meaning, you have to repeat the first two words rapidly many times, preferably in the presence of your fifth-grade classmates.)

The council explained that it was only following national guidelines and that it did not intend to change any existing lewd names.

Still, news of the revised policy raised an outcry.

“Sniggering at double entendres is a loved and time-honored tradition in this country,” Carol Midgley wrote in The Times of London. Ed Hurst, a co-author, with Rob Bailey, of “Rude Britain” and “Rude UK,” which list arguably offensive place names — some so arguably offensive that, unfortunately, they cannot be printed here — said that many such communities were established hundreds of years ago and that their names were not rude at the time.

“Place names and street names are full of history and culture, and it’s only because language has evolved over the centuries that they’ve wound up sounding rude,” Mr. Hurst said in an interview.

Mr. Bailey, who grew up on Tumbledown Dick Road in Oxfordshire, and Mr. Hurst got the idea for the books when they read about a couple who bought a house on Butt Hole Road, in South Yorkshire.

The name most likely has to do with the spot’s historic function as a source of water, a water butt being a container for collecting water. But it proved to be prohibitively hilarious.

“If they ordered a pizza, the pizza company wouldn’t deliver it, because they thought it was a made-up name,” Mr. Hurst said. “People would stand in front of the sign, pull down their trousers and take pictures of each other’s naked buttocks.”

The couple moved away.

The people in Crapstone have not had similar problems, although their sign is periodically stolen by word-loving merrymakers. And their village became a stock joke a few years ago, when a television ad featuring a prone-to-swearing soccer player named Vinnie Jones showed Mr. Jones’s car breaking down just under the Crapstone sign.

In the commercial, Mr. Jones tries to alert the towing company to his location while covering the sign and trying not to say “crap” in front of his young daughter.

The consensus in the village is that there is a perfectly innocent reason for the name “Crapstone,” though it is unclear what that is. Theories put forth by various residents the other day included “place of the rocks,” “a kind of twisting of the original word,” “something to do with the soil” and “something to do with Sir Francis Drake,” who lived nearby.

Jacqui Anderson, a doctor in Crapstone who used to live in a village called Horrabridge, which has its own issues, said that she no longer thought about the “crap” in “Crapstone.”

Still, when strangers ask where she’s from, she admitted, “I just say I live near Plymouth.”

Haha, that's funny stuff Lilo Are those all true town/street names in England? If that story is true it just makes me love that country even more.

I needed a good laugh. Thank you.

Those names are great. And I thought my neighboring Lancaster County, home of the Pennsylvania Dutch, had good names. Intercourse, PA is right next to Paradise, but in the other direction is Bird-in-Hand.

A friend of mine lives at the intersection of Johnson and Beaver Streets. He says he can always be found where Johnson meets Beaver.

Try taking a trip down to Cut'n Shoot, Texas near Houston.

I couldn't make this up...

At least it's not located in Fucking, Austria

Have you guys ever been to Hell???? I don't think I even heard of this Michigan city until after I moved to California. Interesting web page though. Go to hell!!!

TIS


Welcome to Hell

Here's some more:

Bigfoot, Texas, USA
Blow Me Down, Newfoundland, Canada
Bonanza, Colorado, USA
Celebration, FL, USA
Chicken, Alaska, USA
Climax, Michigan, USA
Crackpot, England
Crotch Lake, Ontario, Canada
Cut and Shoot, Texas, USA
Deadhorse, Alaska, USA
Dildo, Newfoundland, Canada
Ding Dong, Texas, USA
Earth, Texas, USA
Egypt, Texas, USA
F**king, Austria
French Lick, Indiana, USA
Frostproof, Florida, USA
Gun Barrel City, Texas, USA
Half.com, Oregon, USA
Happy, Texas, USA
Hell, Michigan, USA
Holy Moses, Colorado, USA
Hot Coffee, Missouri, USA
Humansville, Missouri, USA
Hygiene, Colorado, USA
Intercourse, Pennsylvania, USA Jot 'em Down, Texas, USA
Knockemstiff, Ohio, USA
Last Chance, Colorado, USA
Looneyville, Texas, USA
Mary's Igloo, Alaska, USA
Monkey's Eyebrow, Arizona, USA
Nameless, Texas, USA
Needmore, Texas, USA
Ninety-Six, South Carolina, USA
North Pole, Alaska, USA
Nothing, Arizona, USA
Notrees, Texas, USA
Okay, Oklahoma, USA
Santa Claus, Indiana, USA
Shorter, Alabama, USA
Smackover, Arkansas, USA
Sopchoppy, Florida, USA
Study Butte, Texas, USA
Toad Suck, Arkansas, USA
Truth Or Consequences, New Mexico, USA
Two Egg, Florida, USA
Valentine, Texas, USA
Vulcan, Alberta, Canada
Waterproof, Louisiana, USA
Why, Arizona, USA

Sorry, but nobody is better at these names than the Australians.

http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,20867,21059526-12272,00.html


Rooty Hill meets Titty Bong

OPINION
Phillip Adams | January 13, 2007
Article from: The Australian

A FEW years back the Reverend Fred Nile drew to my attention the fact that certain dictionaries contain dirty words, like titty and bottom. Apprenticed by Fred as a trainee moral custodian, I've since joined in many an Eliot Ness-ish raid on bookshops, burning any copies of the Oxford, Macquarie or Collins we can lay our hands on. We also sneak into libraries and tear out offending pages.
Now we've turned our attention to maps. Bearing the weight of the world on our shoulders like Atlases, Fred and I now burn atlases. Because they're full of filth. Readers may recall my North American examples a few months back. The US might be the land of the free and the home of the brave, but its landscape is littered with the lewd and the lubricious – with towns called Dildo or Intercourse and any number of mountains with mammiferous or phallic names.

As Fred says, the US is off to a bad start with its famous Route 66, which is a disgrace, the word suggestive of fornication while the number approaches the satanic. Little wonder there are so many obscene road movies and books, like that effort of Jack Kerouac's.

But is Australia any better? Readers may recall me asking them to identify our prurient places and tawdry towns – our pornographic place names. I'm proud to say that hundreds rallied to the cause. So now, even as you read this column, Fred and I are "on the road", chopping down offending signs whilst demanding errant councils rechristen their suggestive townships.

Here are some awful examples provided by outraged correspondents.

Black Butt, near Kingaroy. Sheba's Breasts, near Chillagoe. Tellem Buggerem Close, a road in Rubyvale, apparently named in response to the local authority's unpopular habit of increasing rates. Black Charlie's Opening, in Tasmania. Dickwood Drive in Darwin (apparently it runs into Fanny Bay), and Bowelling in Western Australia – "but there's a worse name for those who are just passing through", warns a reader. Pakenham Upper in Victoria was much complained about in letters and emails. As were Mount Buggery and Mount Boobyalla – the latter peak next to the Knobs!

Slap-Arse Row near the township of Aldinga, South Australia, recently renamed (praise the Lord) Hele Street, after Sir Ivor Hele. And, of course, Rooty Hill in NSW.

Even worse, Cyril Street, Camp Hill, Titty Bong near Swan Hill and Mount Mee, near Caboolture. Not to mention Mount Meharry in the Hamersley Range and Mount Little Dick, just up the road from Bairnsdale. What is it about mountains?

Innaloo in WA, and East Intercourse Island near Dampier. Bum Bum Creek, on the New England Highway – and Buggery Hut, not far from where the Murrumbidgee joins the Murray. "There's more than a hint that the name derives from a lonely shepherd with his flock," writes the reader who supplied that one.

Horny Point, Shag Cove and Fanny Point, all near Port Lincoln. Split Arse Rock near Cape Donnington. And Cockburn in metropolitan Perth – "You get an unsettling feeling you might have thrown one too many snags on the barbecue after a skinny-dip."

John and Peter in Daisydale tell of Lake Fanny, Boomers Bottom, Robbins Passage and Mouldy Hole – all in Tasmania, as is Queenstown (Fred is furious!), while Brian Robb points to a map of lakes and creeks around Cairns. "One was called Wherethefuckarewe."

Rose Mackenzie writes of a Tsipura Drive at Burleigh Heads – Ar U Pist spelled backwards. And there's a lovely story about the "days when place-names were made of cut-out letters fixed to a flat plate", from a reader who drove through Pichi Richi Pass between Port Augusta and Quorn in South Australia and saw that "some bright spark had changed the sign to Itchi Arse".

Fred was also concerned to learn, from Wendy Tonkes, of a Bulcock Street near Dicky Beach, close by Lower Gay Terrace and Upper Gay Terrace. Shame on you, Caloundra!

I'd like to thank the hundreds who alerted Fred and I to these vile toponyms. While they'll get their rewards in heaven, the prize – a warmly inscribed copy of my recent book, Adams' Ark – goes to Guy Chester, for Yorkeys Knob near Cairns.

Many pointed to the place, but Guy told the wonderful story of Yorkey, the fisherman who lived there and lost his arm while using dynamite instead of a net or line. "How he sailed his little sloop overnight to Cairns without complete blood loss remains a mystery to this day."

Yorkey also established a beche-de-mer industry – "dried sea cucumber was considered an aphrodisiac by the then plentiful Chinese in Cairns". Guy says there have been many attempts by developers to rename "the Knob", but you can still buy a T-shirt that boasts: "Yorkeys Knob – bigger than Moby's dick."

I didn't see Floyd's Knob, IN on Mig's list...

But you did see Floyd's knob elsewhere?