Good God. What is this quitting shit all about? Why is it that I cannot get myself brand-new mucous membranes for my lips and cheeks and continue chewing tobacco forever?

I mean, we have split the atom, we can transplant hearts, we can make fake bones, we can fly in outer space, but we can't get new body parts for the asking?

Why can't the tobacco industry take some of the multi-thousands of dollars in profit they have made from me alone over the last decade and invest that in my new gums? If they give me new gums, I promise I will keep buying their product.

Hell, Big Tobacco can work with Wal-Mart, carrying a full line of mouth and lung parts for those addicted to nicotine. Ready-made teeth and tongues and shit.

But no. I have to quit tobacco because I am going to die. Soon. Unlike smokers, chewing tobacco users are on far less borrowed time. I can conceivably get mouth cancer and die before I'm 30. I don't really want that. Like I told Saladbar, I like life. It is a very good thing.

So, I must stop. In the meantime, I suppose I will have to release the aggression I have on free-weights at the gym and people on the street who piss me off. If someone is even remotely rude to me within the next few weeks, I am probably going to beat them to the concrete.

The patch does very little, but more than nothing.

I have been drinking decaf coffee all morning.

Anyone in the Tri-State area, or even the entire Northeast, look out for the headline, "Maniac Tears Apart And Eats Local Convenience Store"....that will be me.

Good God.