I hope you all enjoy the day. Now recently Muhammed Ali discovered that his great grandfather was from Ireland. You too may have Celtic blood flowing in your veins and not even know it. So, with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, I put out this test to help you determine if you might be Irish.
You just might be Irish if:
Some of the greatest times of your life take place at funerals;
You have more siblings than fingers and have multiple cousins named Pat, Mike and Mary Margaret;
In school you have to write a paper on your hero, and you select the Virgin Mary;
You can be in a bloody fist fight with a man and ten minutes later be drinking a beer with him arm-in-arm;
You write "Irishcatholicdemocrat" as one word;
You can refer to centuries of oppression and starvation as the good old days;
You believe that William Shakespeare was from County Mayo;
You cram as many words possibleinto each sentence you utter;
You're pulled over by a policeman after drinking the night away, and when you are asked if you had been drinking, you reply, "You're god damned right, sonny.";
You hope that some day the American government finds that Protestant bastard, who built that narrow bridge that Ted Kennedy missed when taking that young girl home from midnight mass;
At the drop of a hat you can offer a persuasive argument as to why your mother should be canonized...in iambic pentameter;
You realize that all floods, fires and hurricanes and world problems are caused by the English;
Your grandmother has a picture of John Kennedy hanging next to Jesus;
You spend your Wednesday night poking fun at your heritage and wishing the people of the greatest internet board in cyber space a Happy St Patty's Day!
Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day
[Re: klydon1]
#597658 03/17/1112:28 AM03/17/1112:28 AM
Great list Kly!! I'm not Irish but I like the Irish. Here's my joke:
Two Irish mothers, Kate and Lorna were talking about their sons.
Kate says, 'My Patrick is such a saint. He works hard, doesn't smoke, and he hasn't so much as looked at a woman in over two years.'
Lorna responds, 'Well, my Francis is a saint himself. Not only hasn't he not looked at a woman in over three years, but he hasn't touched a drop of liquor in all that time.'
'My word,' says Kate, 'You must be so proud.'
'I am,' announces Lorna, 'And when he's paroled next month, I'm going to throw him a big party.'
Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!!
TIS
"Mankind must put an end to war before war puts an end to mankind. War will exist until that distant day when the conscientious objector enjoys the same reputation and prestige that the warrior does today." JFK
"War is over, if you want it" - John Lennon
Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day
[Re: klydon1]
#597661 03/17/1101:04 AM03/17/1101:04 AM
To all those celebrating (and EVERYONE should be), Happy St. Patrick's Day!!
My contribution to the joke list: Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink. Quinn thinks he's very lucky because his own wife makes him walk.
Both of my wives were Irish!!
.
Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day
[Re: SC]
#597695 03/17/1110:15 AM03/17/1110:15 AM
A Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walk into a pub. They each buy a pint of Guiness beer. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head.
The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.
The Scotsman fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened.
The Irishman too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer and then started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT, YOU BASTARD!!"
TIS
"Mankind must put an end to war before war puts an end to mankind. War will exist until that distant day when the conscientious objector enjoys the same reputation and prestige that the warrior does today." JFK
This evening I'll be draggin' me tail (an' me guitar) into Manhattan for a get-together with a bunch of nice folks who'll be singing Irish songs and generally having a good time. Probably no alcohol (unless we bring our own) and definitely no fisticuffs! Just good people and good songs.
And a Happy St. Patrick's Day to all!
Signor V.
"For me, there's only my wife..."
"Sure I cook with wine - sometimes I even add it to the food!"
"When life itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies?"
"It was a grass harp... And we listened."
"Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it? Every, every minute?"
"No. Saints and poets, maybe... they do some."
Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day
[Re: klydon1]
#597737 03/17/1103:43 PM03/17/1103:43 PM
I hate that people think St. Patrick's day means be a douchebag day.
I hate that people just think the Irish are a bunch of drunk brawlers, It just makes me wanna get drunk and punch someone.
Long as I remember The rain been coming down. Clouds of Mystery pouring Confusion on the ground. Good men through the ages, Trying to find the sun; And I wonder, Still I wonder, Who'll stop the rain.
Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day
[Re: Longneck]
#597745 03/17/1104:02 PM03/17/1104:02 PM
A year ago yesterday we lost Amanda, my dear Irish girl. I think of her today.
'May the road rise to meet you, May the wind be at your back, May the sunshine be warm apoun your face. And rains fall soft upoun your fields, And until we meet again may God hold you in the hallow of His hands.'--Irish blessing
Last edited by Ice; 03/17/1104:45 PM.
Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day
[Re: Ice]
#597755 03/17/1105:17 PM03/17/1105:17 PM
Here's my little lad and lassie Collins celebrating their first St. Paddy's Day.
I don't have an Irish joke but here's a true Irish story. My wife's grandmother was Anna Murphy (from Dunmore Kyld). One of 14 kids. She married and Eye-Talian (name withheld) and as a young married wife, helped in the boarding house of her in-laws where she learned Italian, which she spoke with an Irish brogue. Me being a German-Mick-Polock was dating her grandaughter, the apple of her eye. Thank God she liked me. I could listen to her stories all night long. Me and the future MaryCas had been dating a few months. One night we came home from a date (probably the movies) and when we came in the house (also where Anna Murphy lived at the time), apparently MC had a sour face, so Anna says in her Irish brogue, "What's the matter Mary Ann, didn't Lee play with your tits tonight?" I'm not sure how red I turned, but it sure felt bright.
I loved that lady (God rest her soul).....and I still love her grandaughter. And now she has some great-great-grand kids...and Irish no less. Happy St Patrick's Day Grandma.
Last edited by MaryCas; 03/17/1105:30 PM.
Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, whoever humbles himself will be exalted - Matthew 23:12
Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day
[Re: MaryCas]
#597756 03/17/1105:21 PM03/17/1105:21 PM
They are soooooo cute!!!! Great picture. You must be very very proud.
TIS
"Mankind must put an end to war before war puts an end to mankind. War will exist until that distant day when the conscientious objector enjoys the same reputation and prestige that the warrior does today." JFK
"War is over, if you want it" - John Lennon
Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day
[Re: klydon1]
#597759 03/17/1105:32 PM03/17/1105:32 PM
President O'Bama? Irish-American relatives ID'd By CRISTIAN SALAZAR and RANDY HERSCHAFT, Associated Press
NEW YORK – President Barack Obama found out years ago he had an Irish great-great-great-grandfather who fled the potato famine in 1850. He can now claim 28 living relatives who also descended from that Irishman, including a Vietnam veteran, a school nurse and a displeased Arizona Republican.
The president's newly identified relatives are revealed in a study released to The Associated Press by Ancestry.com, whose genealogists also traced descendants of 23 other Irish passengers on the ship that brought Falmouth Kearney to the United States when he was 19.
The survey allowed genealogists to further trace branches in Obama's family tree and others who arrived on the ship, known as the Marmion, on March 20, 1850.
According to the survey, the passengers' descendants live in Canada, Syria and throughout the United States. Among Obama's newly identified relatives is 83-year-old Dorma Lee Reese, of Tucson, Ariz.
"Generosity. That was my first mistake." "Experience must be our only guide; reason may mislead us." "Instagram is Twitter for people who can't read."
Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day
[Re: olivant]
#597763 03/17/1105:54 PM03/17/1105:54 PM
I thought I remember him saying he had Irish ancestors. Btw, I think he just met with Ireland's leader didn't he???? Or he's going to soon.
There's a few foreign countries I'd like to see, and Ireland is one that looks/sounds appealing.
TIS
Last edited by The Italian Stallionette; 03/17/1105:55 PM.
"Mankind must put an end to war before war puts an end to mankind. War will exist until that distant day when the conscientious objector enjoys the same reputation and prestige that the warrior does today." JFK
Tonight's Daily Number in New York State was 317. As straight as an arrow! Talk about the luck of the Irish!
Of course it was sold out since last week. It's like that every year around certain holidays.
It reminds me of how 911 came out on September 11, 2002, here in New York, on the first anniversary of the World Trade Center attacks. It came out straight that night also. I've always felt the fix was in on that one.
"I got news for you. If it wasn't for the toilet, there would be no books." --- George Costanza.
Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day
[Re: pizzaboy]
#597801 03/18/1101:25 AM03/18/1101:25 AM
"When the snows fall and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies but the pack survives." Winter is Coming Now this is the Law of the Jungle—as old and as true as the sky; And the wolf that shall keep it may prosper, but the wolf that shall break it must die. As the creeper that girdles the tree-trunk, the Law runneth forward and back; For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.
Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day
[Re: J Geoff]
#597820 03/18/1109:26 AM03/18/1109:26 AM
I can't see the state or city fixing it so people win...
Ordinarily I'd agree. But in such a case the payout differential would be nominal anyway. The state sets limits on how much they take on certain numbers before the number is "sold out." They make sure they can't get hurt too badly. But hey, doesn't all that money go towards "education" anyway?
"I got news for you. If it wasn't for the toilet, there would be no books." --- George Costanza.
Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day
[Re: pizzaboy]
#597826 03/18/1110:33 AM03/18/1110:33 AM
I never thought I'd like cooked cabbage -- it always smelled rank to me -- but I tried buttered cabbage and other veggies as a side dish to a pastrami/cole slaw/slice pickle sandwich and both were excellent. With a few Guinnesses.
Facebook Mobile Uploads -- 2nd photo - does the link work? FB doesn't let you hotlink images any more. ;/
I studied Italian for 2 semesters. Not once was a "C" pronounced as a "G", and never was a trailing "I" ignored! And I'm from Jersey! lol
Whaddaya want me to do? Whack a guy? Off a guy? Whack off a guy?--Peter Griffin
Some of then stayed in Mexico and that is why you get the occasional ginger Mexican.
If you don't believe me check out latest Mexican boxing sensation Saul Alvarez. He is pasty white skinned with ginger hair, he looksl ike he just staggered out of a boozer in Dublin. Boy can fight though
I would rather die on my feet than live on my knees!
Ive always found it odd how the English celebrate St Patrick's day more than they do our own St Georges Day, just a excuse for a drink i guess..
The Mafia Is Not Primarily An Organisation Of Murderers. First And Foremost,The Mafia Is Made Up Of Thieves. It Is Driven By Greed And Controlled By Fear.
Between The Law And The Mafia, The Law Is Not The Most To Be Feared
"What if the Mafia were not an organization but a widespread Sicilian attitude of hostility towards the law?"
"Make Love Not War" John Lennon
Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day
[Re: DE NIRO]
#598030 03/20/1106:45 PM03/20/1106:45 PM
Yea but St. Patrick is the patron saint of green beer isn't he?
TIS
Last edited by The Italian Stallionette; 03/20/1106:45 PM.
"Mankind must put an end to war before war puts an end to mankind. War will exist until that distant day when the conscientious objector enjoys the same reputation and prestige that the warrior does today." JFK
"War is over, if you want it" - John Lennon
Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day
[Re: DE NIRO]
#598173 03/22/1110:43 AM03/22/1110:43 AM
Omit the "&set=" and everything after it, and you'll be brought to the old style pic viewing, from which you can right click and get the Image Location.
...dot com bold typeface rhetoric. You go clickety click and get your head split. 'The hell you look like on a message board Discussing whether or not the Brother is hardcore?
Ive always found it odd how the English celebrate St Patrick's day more than they do our own St Georges Day, just a excuse for a drink i guess..
Possibly, but i still celebrate St. Georges Day.....and St.Andrews Day cos i am half a jock
Sorry to hear that
The Mafia Is Not Primarily An Organisation Of Murderers. First And Foremost,The Mafia Is Made Up Of Thieves. It Is Driven By Greed And Controlled By Fear.
Between The Law And The Mafia, The Law Is Not The Most To Be Feared
"What if the Mafia were not an organization but a widespread Sicilian attitude of hostility towards the law?"