Why does the dove get to be the peace symbol? Why not the pillow? It has more feathers than a dove, and it doesn't have that dangerous beak.

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic.


---------Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy, SNL