What is this rumor you keep talking about that the 'traditionalist' mafiosi don't kill women or children? They never say this. In Italy it is common understanding that if your wife/mother/son are in the way, or can be used for a bargaining tool, it will be. This is NOT a secret. It's common knowledge.
To be honest, I don't remember the exact sources where I read or heard this, but I didn't just make this up, that's for sure. They put quotes like this even in some movies. I remember only the case in which Totò Riina's hitmen killed the mafioso Vincenzo Graffagnino who was suspected to have killed a boy named Claudio Domino. Maybe this was a demonstration of their adherence to the old belief that mafiosi shouldn't kill children, I don't know.
But if you're going to be born into that life and/or choose to be in that life then do it right. A man that is in jail for life and under article 41-bis and doesn't talk, is a man of honor.
Were he truly a man of honor, he wouldn't done those things he ended up in jail for. Not talking means nothing from a moral point of view.
But anyway, I am not trying to start an argument or provoke you. I just don't understand what's your personal point of of view on that concept of mafia honor.
I understand you read it or saw it in a movie, and I believe you may have. It's just the furthest thing from the truth and not only that..it is not a secret. It happens so often and only once in awhile does it make italian papers. Of course you remember Giuseppe Di Matteo, the 11 year old boy that was kidnapped, held for 2 years, then strangled and drowned in acid. I'm sure you do. That was a highly publicized story. But, there have been countless wives that have been threatened and believe it, they would have acted on it if it came to it.
More recently, there was a bullet mailed to a house, addressed to the 4-year old son of a mafioso that they were threatening so he wouldn't talk. It goes on and on.
About the honor, I am only saying this... You are on a mafia forum, so already you know the morals of these men. They are obviously not your morals. We already know they are criminals and we're not here to dispute that. So, that being said, from THEIR outlook on what they have chosen for a life (and many did not choose, it was chosen for them), what they consider honor is not what you consider honor. Their lifestyle is not what you consider a lifestyle for you. But if they're going to live that life, then they should do it the way they swore to do it. And if they do, that is what a man of honor is (in that life). That's all I'm getting at.
