Funny, because it´s true!

You know, as a european, sometimes the "project" of figuring out the correct grammar prevents me from posting. Embarrassing ....

Please don't let that stop you from posting. No need to be embarrassed.

An Irish chap is walking down the road when he sees a sandwich with 2 red wires sticking out of it, lying in the road. So he rings the police and tells the operator,
"Hallo...i av found a sandwich dat loiks like a feckin bomb".

"Is is tickin?" asks the operator.

"No i tink its turkey" he says!

^Good one

I got up this morning and put on my shirt and started to button it - one of the buttons came off. I then went out to my car, tried to open the door, but the handle came off. Now I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.

Ha ha ha ha!!! Hopefully that's the end of your bad luck. Better stay home.


TIS

This scene was always my favourite

Already theres joseph cony jokes.

Fresh prince of child soldiers

I just went to the gym. When I got back home I discovered that everything in my house had been replaced with an exact duplicate.

Two cows were sitting around the barn and one said to the other, "I was artificially inseminated this mooorning."
The other said, "What!? You're pulling my leg."
The first replied, "I really was. No bull."

A guy walked into a bar, lugging a big chunk of macadam. He spotted the bartender and said, "Give me a shot of whiskey...and one for the road."

In the same bar a skeleton made his way to the bartender, saying, "Can I have a beer and a mop?"

Good ones Kly

I think this kid slightly missunderstood the question on this test...

Ha! That was a good one. Now, more memes;

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack.

The widow decided to check her e-mail expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.

The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:


To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived

Date: April 4th, 2012

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in.

I've seen that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then!

Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.


P. S. Sure is hot down here!!!!

Whats the difference between Bill Maher fans and Rush Limbaugh fans?

Bill Maher fans know he's an asshole.

I just took my magician's certification test. They were all trick questions.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1boEJ2qPWo

What do you beating up a gay student for being gay back in the 60s?

A PRANK! HAHAHAHAHA!

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

How to spot a French army rifle for sale on the Net?????

One owner, never fired, dropped once!!!!

Ok X, so I thought a male BBer might comment first on that joke, but what the heck. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!! That IS funny.



TIS

Hmmm... Whatever XDCX posted, I can't seem to view it. All I get is one of those annoying little red X's.

Signor V.

SV,

Can you see it now?

TIS

Did you know that if you say "gullible" slowly, it sounds like "oranges"?

Yep - loud and clear. Don't know what happened earlier. Probably my computer.

Signor V.

Confucius says: Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

Confucius says: Man who run in front of car get tired.