Don't forget, Tom was also able to be tough, and sometimes even cold-hearted:
He was present when Carlo was murdered.
He refused to take Tessio of the hook and gave the nod to Cicci.
He was telling Geary all that bs in front of a murdered girl: "This girl has no family, nobody knows that she worked here. It'll be as if she never existed."
He made Pentangeli commit suicide.