C'mon...be easy on Pat. Everyone knows he never reads through entire posts before posting.

Tongue 'em.

No. I read it through. You fought him off of you he said. You didn't say you got him off of you and kicked his ass. Look dude. I was out by a pay phone a few years ago and this motherfucker came from behind me and started beating me with the fucking phone. You know what I did? I beat his fucking ass. My head hurt like fucking hell, but I know his whole body was numb when I got through with the son of a bitch.

I was about to ask if an endoscopy means they're sticking something into your ass or your mouth, but since I don't see why anyone would deaden your throat if they stick it up your ass, I suppose the action is in the mouth.

Man. You're hardcore. Though, I always thought that whole 'emo' trend followed the "lovelorn-lover, not a fighter" mantra?

XXX - glad you're ok, bro.
do you think they were on drugs?
(that reminds me of the 24 scene (I know you're a fan) when Lynn got beat up by his sister's bf...from behind.
They didnt steal your CTU card did they?

BTW- did u finally watch the finale?

What you fail to realize Pat is this was someone I considered a friend. When he got out and hit me...I was in shock. It wasn't like it was some random passer-by that attacked me. This is someone I cared about.

Had it been someone else...believe me...things would have turned out much different. But when you have someone come over threatening to kick your ass...your best friend for that matter...and then she has her boyfriend do it for her...you find yourself wondering why. My best friend in the world had her boyfriend attack me for no reason. That kinda shit fucks with your mind.

But believe me...once I got up and got in his face...just knowing he didn't want any part of me in a fair fight was enough for me. Knowing he didn't want a piece of me in a fair fight...with ME only having one good hand...was enough for me. He's going to jail for 2nd degree assault...and possibly being brought up on charges of attempted 3rd degree murder. The assault was pre-meditated. He may be laughing now...but I'll have the last laugh. And remember...he who laughs last...laughs loudest.

NO! I still haven't caught the final two episodes of season 5. But luckily FOX will be airing them tomorrow.

And no...my CTU card is still safely stowed in my wallet. You know...the one that says "bad mother fucker."

You, of all people.

THANK YOU! Thank you, Don Andrew! Nothing more needs to be said! Bravo!

Somebody get this man a drink!

Violence is a repulsively refreshing thing.

xXx, you spoke to the guy since?

What is that supposed to mean?

I haven't spoken to either of them. I went to the commissioner's office yesterday to formally press charges against the guy. I also picked up the forms to file peace orders against the both of them...but the judge had already left when I arrived...so I couldn't file the peace orders. I'll be going back to the courthouse on Monday to file the peace orders. They'll be served that day by the sheriff's department...and there will be a court date a week or so later to determine whether or not there's enough probable cause to make it a permanent peace order. (permanent being 6 months )

The charges for 2nd degree assault will take a little longer because; a) the guy lives in Virginia...I live in Maryland; and b) there are so many cases for 2nd degree assault, God only knows when they'll fit me in.

After the peace orders are filed...they cannot contact me or my family in any way. Well...I guess they could...but they'd be in violation and they'd be arrested.

He's probably referring to your "Give Peace A Chance" outlook.

It's actually reminding me of George Carlin's description of the mammalian brain under the primate brain.

"The primate brain says 'give peace a chance.' The mammalian brain says 'give peace a chance, but first lets kill this motherfucker."

Pogue Colonel: Marine, what is that button on your body armor?

Private Joker: A peace symbol, sir.

Pogue Colonel: Where'd you get it?

Private Joker: I don't remember, sir.

Pogue Colonel: What is that you've got written on your helmet?

Private Joker: "Born to Kill", sir.

Pogue Colonel: You write "Born to Kill" on your helmet and you wear a peace button. What's that supposed to be, some kind of sick joke?

Private Joker: No, sir.

Pogue Colonel: You'd better get your head and your ass wired together, or I will take a giant shit on you.

Private Joker: Yes, sir.

Pogue Colonel: Now answer my question or you'll be standing tall before the man.

Private Joker: I think I was trying to suggest something about the duality of man, sir.

Pogue Colonel: The what?

Private Joker: The duality of man. The Jungian thing, sir.

Pogue Colonel: Whose side are you on, son?

Private Joker: Our side, sir.

Pogue Colonel: Don't you love your country?

Private Joker: Yes, sir.

Pogue Colonel: Then how about getting with the program? Why don't you jump on the team and come on in for the big win?

Private Joker: Yes, sir.

Pogue Colonel: Son, all I've ever asked of my marines is that they obey my orders as they would the word of God. We are here to help the Vietnamese, because inside every gook there is an American trying to get out. It's a hardball world, son. We've gotta keep our heads until this peace craze blows over.

Private Joker: Aye-aye, sir.

What the hell do you think it means? You mope around about to slit your fucking wrists over some (well, this week's) high school slut all the time. Why the hell don't you stop taking people's shit.

"Oh, she left me. Oh, I wanna slit my wrists, oh my chest hurts..."

What the hell!? Get over it.
"Whaaa beheadings!"

I think any Pee-Wee fan would love this video.

I feel like destroying something beautiful.

You can destroy me if you'd like...

I said beautiful, not Asian.

Is there even a difference?

Most definately.

I fart in your general direction.

Can we please have pictures of "before" and "after"?


xxx--so did u watch it? the last 2 hours of 24? we gotta wait till January now dont we?

DonVitoCorleone, I was wondering, how are you able to travel so much? I think I first saw that you were in Italy, then Michigan, then Asia and now Michigan again. I'd love to be able to travel that much.

That was me. I did it.

He said he was in Italy to look exotic.

My father is a wealthy hotel owner, and I have my own private jet and different hideouts around the world. I'm back home now though.

Better than staying in an anonymous motel room 24/7.

At least he's not Asian.

You know, for all that the internet offers, theres really nothing to do on it. I wish itunes imported faster

What are "not to do's" on dates?

1. Saying she's ugly.
2. Telling about your time in jail.
3. Forgetting your money and letting her pay.

Feel free to add more.